Support/Advice

[Guest QueenJaylen]

     I was wondering what kind of things here should we support. Here on the forum I have read in a few cases where someone had a daddy who was married and they got their feelings hurt or they need advice, someone had a partner and their partner didn't understand their way of life so they came here to find someone to be with without the knowledge of their partner etc., yes that is infact cheating and it's horrible thing but, my question is should we give these people advice or show them no sympathy? And I am not talking about anyone inparticular because I have read a few things like this here so therefore I would like to know if I would be wrong for giving them my advice or support. 

 

     I must stress I am not supporting the persons actions I am supporting them. I would never tell someone to do something wrong or continue doing something wrong for that matter, just be there for them I can't really explain what I mean by that but I can say I strongly believe in the saying "love the sinner hate the sin" so I try to loe everyone but I also know some things are wrong and should not be condoned and I don't wanna seem like the type of person who supports wrong doing beause I don't I just don't like making people feel bad for their mistakes.

Edited August 2, 2016 by QueenJay

[Spooky]

I believe that you can give advice, useful, helpful advice without judging someone. Some people may not realize how their actions are affecting others. If you disagree with someone's choices, educate them.
Educate. 
Educate without making them feel bad, you cannot fully understand what they are going through and none of us are perfect, nor in a position to judge others. 

Harassing, bullying, speaking down to others is not in any way okay. Nor is it a helpful route to take. 

[Guest SunshineUnderpants]

being on two ends of this...

 

I think I'm better off leaving the forum (now) rather than getting chewed out.

It doesn't make a decision any easier eeeesssppecially in my position or the opposing.

 

I don't feel comfortable asking for help anymore on a thread.

[Petal]

I'm with Spooky on this one.  Sometimes things happen out of someone's control, sometimes they don't realize the wrongness of their actions.  Then again, sometimes they know it's wrong and they do it anyway.  I think it's okay to voice your opinion - it is, after all, your opinion - as long as you're not mean about it.  You can give some alternative views, some unexpected arguments, and leave the ultimate decision up to them.  Advice never has to be taken.  So as long as you don't make somebody take it, and leave the decision to them, I don't think there's anything wrong with giving advice on something you don't agree with.

 

Then again, if the topic makes you outright uncomfortable, say that. "I think this is something I can't stand by, and I don't think I can talk about it anymore." Sometime's other people ignore your advice, or they listen and it isn't enough.  It's not your responsibility to give advice if the situation makes you uncomfortable.

[Guest QueenJaylen]

First off I'm sorry your thread turned into a going back a forth situation. But I do not think you should leave there are plenty of people her who will help you and give you great kick ass amazing advice. You will always be judged but it is your responsibility to protect yourself and just say "fuck it" because opinions not matter that's all they are opnions and someones opinionmay hurt like hell and bevery mean but it doesn't get you anywhere by dwelling on it and I'm sorry that you don't fel like asking for advice I really do apologize for that this is a place where you should be open about these things and you got judged a bashed and called names for it and that is not at all right I hope you make the decision to stay but at the end of the day it's all you 

[Sweet Lil Buttercup]

First of all, thank you QueenJay for starting this thread. I think this type of discussion is important. Now, I agree with Spooky wholeheartedly. The only thing you can and should do is educate people. Give advice freely and without prejudice. And as Petal said, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then there is no need or reason for you to leave your advice.

 

Advice worth giving is not a chance for someone to push their beliefs and opinions on others. It should be objective and unbiased, especially if the situation as a whole is unclear and the person asking is unfamiliar to you. 

 

I will add though that some people need to really stop and reread BEFORE they post. I understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I am of the mindset that if it is not asked for, then it should not be offered, especially when the remarks are so venomous and uncalled for. The beauty of this forum is that you can pick and choose what you read and respond to. If you have only mean things to say, it's best to move on. And saying mean things is NOT advice. Let's not conflate the two.

 

Apart from that, there shouldn't be a totem pole of what's acceptable on this forum given that the fear of societal ostracization is what brought many of us here in the first place. We should strive to support one another, and sometimes that's going to mean questioning why someone is doing something, sure. And that means that sometimes the advice is uncomfortable to receive, especially when it makes you think twice about your actions, but it should never make you feel worse for having asked it. Good advice never belittles the person who is asking for it. 

 

I'm sorry they said such mean things to you Sunshine. They shouldn't have, and if you would like some advice, I would be more than happy to offer it freely and from a kinder place.

[Guest ~*QueenSaiya*~]

being on two ends of this...

 

I think I'm better off leaving the forum (now) rather than getting chewed out.

It doesn't make a decision any easier eeeesssppecially in my position or the opposing.

 

I don't feel comfortable asking for help anymore on a thread.

I'm so so incredibly sorry that certain members have made it to where you don't feel comfortable asking for advice. Let me assure you that those members have been reprimanded for their actions. And we here at the forum would very much like for you to stay and be an active member of the community. 

 

And to the topic, I definitely agree with Spooky on this. There are many ways to help educate someone without berating them and bullying them. 

[Guest Coyote420]

Well I'm a very new member and I try to be active and give advice to ppl when they post something. However when I read something and am not sure about it i refrain myself from saying anything since I could do more bad then good. However when I can relate to someone, have been through something simmular or know someone that has then I try to give advice.

[Guest SunshineUnderpants]

I will stay, Queen I thank you for this.

[Guest QueenJaylen]

No problem. The more people here the better

[Guest GrapeApe]

In response to QueenJay's original post, it seems like you are asking if there is any kind of Ethics when it comes to living in the Dd/Lg lifestyle.  Do certain Norms translate over directly, l.e. cheating, or are there special situations or exceptions which apply only here?

 

The best answer I can give is that there are many different moral rules which apply, and also that is relative to the specific situation at hand.  That being said, I agree with the majority that the best thing you can do is try and be rational and supportive when confronted with a user who needs help. 

 

There are no moral absolutes, but certain rules certainly seem to apply.  Underage users, abuse, etc. can be easily deemed 'wrong'.  Other issues can be more complex, and should be treated more delicately.