Living at home *embarassed*

[Guest PrincessBabygirlKittenAnge]

I cant. Afford. To move out. (Just turned 18 anyways). And. My mother - I call her mother Gothel- is overbearing and controlling and yeach it's causing problems for me and my friendships and relationships.

Anyone gone through this or going through this please give me advice before I dieeee

Edited August 2, 2016 by PrincessBabygirlKittenAnge

[Guest AelaPiggy♥]

You know what's even more embarrassing? Being (almost) 32 and still living with my mom and little sis. Haha.

 

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to share. I'm kinda in the same predicament, so yeah. Anyway, if any, even though your mother is overbearing and controlling, for sure you'll definitely miss her (somehow) when you move out.

 

Hang in there for a while

[Guest PrincessBabygirlKittenAnge]

You know what's even more embarrassing? Being (almost) 32 and still living with my mom and little sis. Haha.

 

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to share. I'm kinda in the same predicament, so yeah. Anyway, if any, even though your mother is overbearing and controlling, for sure you'll definitely miss her (somehow) when you move out.

 

Hang in there for a while

I'll hang in there , you hang in there too ! Of course, I love my mom. I just would love more . Idk lol mostly just freedom to be with my daddy and talk to him all the time and such.

Well thank yoooo at least I knooowwwww I'm not alone really. *hugs*

[Bayna]

I'm in the same boat truly. My job doesn't pay enough for me to move out even though I desperately want to. I am thinking about getting a second job to get some more cash to get an apartment.

[14400_1655600390]

A, Love the Rapunzel refrence.

B, I'm living at home because finding a job in this place sucks. So I'm going back to school.

 

As for your mother, mine was like that until I showed her that her opinions didn't matter to me. My mother was a bully, making me feel like I couldn't do crap without her...just a bunch of stuff.

 

Find a reason not to be home. Go to the library, volunteer, maybe get a job if you can. It will give you a sense of independence and will limit the time your mother can nit pick on your life. Plus you're acting like an adult. I know she'll probably throw that in your face.

[atxDD]

this is, in my experience, one of the reasons why some littles seek out an older daddy dom with an established job - helping with living expenses is often another way I have "taken care of everything" for past littles.

[Guest annemarie]

So i have a mother who is literally the living embodiment of mother gothel from the movie tangled (which is what i assume you're referencing). i lived with her from the time i was born until i was almost 22. how did i survive? i spent as little time around her as possible and basically just pretended to agree with her no matter what and pretended to do whatever she wanted. now she thinks we have a good relationship when i hate her guts, but the point here is, i survived with as little conflict between the two of us as possible this way, which is what i'm assuming you want. also if you just start doing independent things, she'll eventually just let you do it (at least that's how it worked with my mom) when she realizes she really can't control you anymore.

[SharBear]

I'm 20 and still live with my parents. I just don't know if I COULD move out yet because I don't have a plan. They don't seem to mind me being here, for now. I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about, heck they are  your family, whether or not you get along with them. If you really can't stand them, work harder toward getting a place of your own, find a friend to live with, stay out of the house as much as you can.

[Little Girl Blue]

Im in my 30's and live with my mom. Its not fully my choice she got hurt really bad and cant work so i moved in with her to help her out. Its nothing to be ashamed about still living at home and a true CG will understand

[DollDirector]

The economic factor plays a part and I think this is often denied. Some part at least of the situation is due to the lack of proper jobs that would not put you at risk of falling in a poverty trap,and for this part you should have no shame; And you don't have to like people who show no understanding of this...

[Harley_Quinn]

When I lived at home I had the same problem with both my dad and step mom. It was a serious problem that did ruin relationships, friendships and even my own identity. They actually kicked me out and I came to live with daddy and his father. Which isn't much better but at least I'm not homeless. Just hang in there and don't let what anyone says to you get to you. Trust me, she can't take away who you are from yourself.

[Guest QueenJaylen]

Well umm I live at home and I turn 20 soon I'm perfectly fine with it, I am soo soo happy I don't have to pay bills and I don't have to work because my mom does not require me to and for that I'm thankful. We have a good relationship we disagree sometimes but we're fine and it's good that I'm here because her and my stepdad are divorcing so I can watch my little sisters when she can't be at home. So, I said all that to say look on the bright side of this situation.

I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR YOU

[Guest Tiny Lion]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation.

 

I'm not good with change (especially life-changing ones) and have lived with my mother my entire life. Being 21, self-reserved, and sheltered, I find it very difficult to get myself out there as my people skills are not so great. Too many things could go wrong and I have no idea about how to even approach living on my own.

 

I try to make the best of my current situation and just hold on as tight as I can! It's tough especially when the relationship between you and your mother is a difficult-to-handle one. Good luck with your endeavors and may good fortune be upon you

[Guest Youngoldsoul]

It is slowly becoming the new normal to live at home last 18, and it is not at all uncommon for children to live with their parents well into their mid to late 20's....speaking as someone who lives on their own, enjoy the freedom that comes with not having to pay rent, utilities etc...if I could do it all over again I would have loved af my parents house until I was 25 and saved as much as possible!

[Guest Coffeefarism]

I'm 26 and still living with my parents, though in my country women tend to live in the family house until they get married or until they decide to move with their partners, which I am planning to do as soon as I am more economically stable.
In my experience, having your own money and your own responsabilities (job, school, etc) gives you a considerable status of independency, and your mother will have to eventually understand and accept that you are an adult with your own life and capable to make your own choices. Basically, you just have to show her you are mature enough to have a good control of your life so she can't threaten you with things like not giving you money/food/access to interne/etc because you would be capable of providing it for yourself if she does.

[Guest TwinklingSpace]

Why are you embarrassed of living at home?

 

Is it because you see yourself as an "adult" and you think that means you should be living on your own?

 

Or is it because you're embarrassed by your mother?

 

I moved out when I was 20 and stayed out till I was 25. I moved back home After that to help take care of my grandfather (whose recently passed). I'm now 28 and still living at home. Of course, my goal is to move out one day. But for now I'm okay being in the comfort of my childhood home.

 

However, moving home did not go as smoothly as I hoped. My dad had his girlfriend move in while I was gone and she was SUPER jealous of me and thought of me as a "brat". Which meant she treated me SUPER badly. I kept fighting and fighting with her till one day she hit me and my dad took her side...

 

That's when I disconnected. I don't really talk to her at ALL. Only when it's necessary. I don't pay her any attention and I don't acknowledge her at all. She doesn't exist to me.

 

Maybe this could help you with your mother? Just slowly disconnect. Of course don't be rude or disrespectful, but don't interact with her unless it's absolutely necessary. Keep your distance and just come and go. 

 

Yes, you live in her home. And yes you depend on her. But that doesn't give her the right to chip away at you.

 

And because you do live in her house and you do depend on her, you should respect her.

 

But respecting her doesn't mean you have to take her crap or let her hurt you (emotionally/mentally/physically). Respect just means acknowledging you need her. 

 

I have an aunt I CAN'T stand, and the way I respect her is by acknowledging she's a human being (a horrible human being). And I respect her by keeping my distance. Because if I got near her, I'd hit her.

 

Know your boundaries.

Make yourself a priority.

Keep yourself healthy (emotionally/mentally/physically). Even if that means disconnecting for a while.