Focus on the man, not the name

[Guest NeedToServe]

Wrote this on my tumblr blog, just thoughts on my mind, I often just start writing something, no real plan on what I'm going to say. Sometimes I get a couple of notes, sometimes none at all, sometimes quite a few, but this so far has been my most popular. To be honest I don't think it's particularly that crazy or shock of an idea, just wanted to see what people thought of this little ramble from my head.

To me it seems obvious, but clearly not!

 

He doesn’t have to be called “daddy” to take care of you.

You don’t have to call him “daddy” for him to accept your little side.

You can call him his first name and he can still adore and protect you.

He could ask you to call him “sir” and still have every “daddy” quality you want in a partner.

The name means nothing. Literally nothing.

If you want to call him daddy and he wants you to, then great, fabulous, enjoy every moment.

If you want him to be your daddy, but he doesn’t like that name, and still treats you exactly as though he was, cherish it, you are a lucky girl to have such an amazing relationship.

The word “daddy” does not make him your daddy.

The love, care, loyalty, attention, emotion, gentleness, devotion, thought, acceptance, nurture, characteristics, manner, security, giggles, guidance, structure and willingness to provide discipline etc…..those are the things that make him your daddy.

Forget the name. Focus on the man.

[Jesse1992]

Completely agree with this all the way until the end! :3

[14400_1655600390]

I love this. I have known a few Doms and daddys they didn't understand the meaning of why they called themselves that. I have always looked beyond the surface, taking my time to read them so to speak. To find out if I feel those things mentioned above. I feel like them having the title 'daddy' or 'sir' whatever, is something that is earned. As is with my trust.

 

I don't know, that's just how I feel.

[Guest NeedToServe]

Thanks guys. Yes, I have to say that so many people (from both sides of the equation) only seem to care about calling someone daddy, or being someone's daddy, that the actual relationship doesn't seem to matter.

And of course, this is non gender/role specific. I have only written it from my own perspective. The same goes for every name or term used from any dynamic.

[14400_1655600390]

Thanks guys. Yes, I have to say that so many people (from both sides of the equation) only seem to care about calling someone daddy, or being someone's daddy, that the actual relationship doesn't seem to matter.

 

I have a question though. Does any one not call them a name or refuses to until their trust is earned?

 

A name is a very powerful thing, and I find myself not using it much until i feel like I'm comfortable enough.

[Bachelard]

@mermaidgirl You have to feel comfortable, of course, and trust is important too.

 

I agree with everything written above. There are many who sadly approach DDlg from a surface perspective when what's needed is to think a little deeper.

 

Daddies (and a littles, for that matter) are more than a label, they're warm, caring and giving people who have naturally gravitated to this lifestyle. The label 'Daddy' is just one very small part of the equation, it's the actions that matter.

 

Just my £0.02 worth and I've just woken up so apologies if any of the above is garbled. Sleepy! ;-)

[Bachelard]

@needtoserve Can you share a link to your Tumblr?

[Guest NeedToServe]

Thank you guys. On the matter of titles being earned, that's entirely personal. Some need to learn to trust someone before using those titles (if you want to use them), some use them straight away. Completely up to the individual.

 

My Tumblr name is mydaddymyworld. Can't figure out how to do a link from my phone, lol.

[Bachelard]

@needtoserve Thank you.

[Guest Zephy]

I know some people are so much into their "role" that they forget the fundamentals a relationship is build upon.

As far as titles/nicknames goes - these things come naturally when the other person feels comfortable and trust you enough.

[HeCallsMePrincess]

I have to agree. Not enough emphasis is placed on the relationship itself, either. I feel like there are too many young women are playing this game almost. They think is super cute and put their hair in pigtails and call the guy they meet 6 weeks ago Daddy and honestly they have no idea what they're doing. They think it's about sex. And I'm sure I'll insult someone, but you aren't a Little at 17. You're a child. But yeah, I agree with you completely lol

[Guest NeedToServe]

I have to agree. Not enough emphasis is placed on the relationship itself, either. I feel like there are too many young women are playing this game almost. They think is super cute and put their hair in pigtails and call the guy they meet 6 weeks ago Daddy and honestly they have no idea what they're doing. They think it's about sex. And I'm sure I'll insult someone, but you aren't a Little at 17. You're a child. But yeah, I agree with you completely lol

Oh good lord don't even get me started on underage "littles", that's a WHOLE other subject that reaaally gets me up on my soapbox. I will simply say, yes, you are absolutely right. Ddlg is by definition an ADULT thing. No ifs or buts, no loopholes or conditions. It's for adults, end of story.

[Bachelard]

All of the above. Whether you're a Daddy or a little (or a Mummy, for that matter) it takes a little time to find your feet, and age and experience is a part of that.

[honeyboy]

I read and reblogged this on tumblr! Nice to see it here too because it's so important. It made me really happy when I read it.

 

I don't call my daddy "daddy" all the time, definitely not as much as most people in the community seem to. It doesn't always feel natural, and I don't like being limited when there are so many cute nicknames out there & so many silly twists on their name that I can come up with ;~) my daddy was also slow to come around to the idea of DDLB. Well, not slow exactly, it actually wasn't that long, but they were strongly against it at first. So I try not to overdo it, although they don't feel it's necessary for me to limit it... but it makes me comfortable, and I don't like using "daddy" all the time anyway. Using it too often just feels kind of forced to me. Anyway, it's nice to hear that that's okay, and I'm going to show this to my daddy too because I want them to know if ever they change their mind again and don't want to be called Daddy, it wouldn't have to change anything between us.

 

(I used "daddy" so much in this post :~P I do often use the word when talking about them, although partly just to make things easier. I just don't use it all the time when talking TO my daddy.)

[littlelili]

Bless this post. This needed to be said!!!

[Guest NeedToServe]

Nice to see that others feel the same way. Thanks guys

[Bachelard]

It's important that you use the terms that are right for you. A true 'Daddy' (or 'Mummy', should that be your thing), will accept you for who you are.

[Guest NeedToServe]

It's important that you use the terms that are right for you. A true 'Daddy' (or 'Mummy', should that be your thing), will accept you for who you are.

Lol apparently I can't like any more posts today! But yes, exactly.

A daddy is shown by manner and behaviour, not names and titles.