S.O. isn't into dd/lg but is into bdsm, advice?

[BettaFett]

I'm sorry if this comes across as selfish or ignorant but I feel like I should take care of my needs as well as his.

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are both in love with the Dom/sub dynamic (me being the sub) so Dd/lg is nothing new to us. I completely see him as an incredibly loving and caring person and we share many things that are familiar with the Dd/lg concept such as:

- He calls me baby girl and names similar to that

- I do things meant for younger people such as coloring and cartoons

- He gladly took me to build a bear for my birthday to create stuffies together

- He treats me like a little girl figure by giving me "bed times" and saying things like "You're too pretty for that, let me do it." On simple things that I can do. He even gives me spankings for mouthing off to him.

 

I understand that those points aren't all directly pointing to the Dd/lg dynamic but I find them very closely related.

The only problem is, I have brought it up to him and I let him know I was into it (Although I emphasized a "maybe" in there which is my own fault.)

We tried it one night and he said he felt gross and it reminded him of my biological dad.

I'm familiar with hard limits and such so I didn't push much further but it hurts to know that I can never express my appeal towards Dd/lg with the man I love.

I don't know what to do. He strongly dislikes it to the point that it disgusted him. Most people say that we're most likely incompatible sexually but honestly, we're so fine tuned to each other sexually, it's crazy. Any advice on my next step? Should I drop it here and stay silent?

[Princess-P]

Honestly if he's not into it, and he's expressed disgust with whatever it is you brought up to him then I'd say drop it. Its a limit for him and it has to be respected.

 

You don't need him to partake in that role to be your little self. Do what makes you happy, and do things with him that make you both happy. Your relationship doesn't have to suffer over limits.

[HeCallsMePrincess]

I agree with Princess P, you don't need him to be little. I do understand the desire to have him fill the other role, but if he's already doing most of these things is a title really necessary? could you be satisfied without it?

[Guest NeedToServe]

Sounds like you're already in that kind of relationship, just without him wanting to call it that. Is the name of your relationship really that important? Focus on the relationship, not what you both want to call it. And focus on the fact he is clearly your daddy, no matter what you call him. The names mean literally nothing.