I don't know how to get over it...

[princess_bea]

I had a daddy, and I loved him more than anyone else in this world... I still do. Every single day I think about him.

 

We ended things. Before we started with DD/LG he knew I had abandonment issues, and then in April he ignored me for a week. Then we started trying to fix everything that was broken and I started making progress. Then we did nothing but fight because I was so scared to let my guard down.

 

I asked to just be friends, and it was temporary. We did nothing but get upset because I needed to heal and he needed to be a caregiver. He said I didn't love him like I used to, that I didn't need him like I used to. He stopped talking to me again and broke my world apart.

 

Fast forward a month and I reach out to him. I can't live without him. He agrees to give me another chance and we're okay. Then, the very next night I had a work function, it wasn't optional. I went straight home afterwards and fell asleep. I woke up at 2am to him upset with me and we started fighting. Every time we fight in the middle of the night, I put my foot in my mouth so I told him I was going to sleep and that we would talk in the morning. The next day, he cut me off.

 

He sent me a box in the mail of everything I had ever given him. Every stuffie, every colored picture, everything. I texted him about him hurting me by doing that and he said he would never speak to me again.

 

I don't want to live in a world without him. I don't want to have a life that doesn't include him. It's been a month since all of this happened and I still can't breathe when I think about him. I can't do anything without him. Little space just breaks my heart, every TV show that we watched makes me hurt. I promised him that I would love him forever and I meant it. I can't pull myself out of this. I feel like I'm drowning.

 

I guess I joined here to try and get over him, to have a support system, but my heart is absolutely shattered. I gave him my everything and he tossed me away. I can't keep doing this... Please someone tell me what to do.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

Hey sweetheart. *offers major hugs*

 

The first thing you should do is be gentle with yourself. Remember that this hurt is real, and fresh, and new, and you don't need to worry about "pulling out" of this yet. It's okay to feel badly, and it's okay to be frustrated and hurt, and feel lost. Just remember that feeling that way won't last forever. Take a deep breath. Let it go. Remind yourself that you are going to smile again. And that you are a Little with or without a Caregiver.

 

If he tossed you aside, he's not worth your tears. You'll get through this, but only if you take care and are gentle with yourself. Let yourself feel things. Don't be afraid of your emotions; it isn't 'bad' that you are hurting. Listen to some sad music. Cry when you can. Take long bubble baths. But remember that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's still coming, regardless of if you can see it now.

 

If you need to remember how important you are, just remember you have galaxies inside of you. All you have to do is close your eyes, and rub them to see the stars. <3

[Guest Don Pablo]

time heals wounds, i guess everyone who has been through a similar situation will tell you the same. I myself have been there, but with time the pain has slowly faded away.

 

its hard and it will be hard, my advice is, if I was in your situation, watch new shows, meet new people ( friends help a lot!) and keep yourself busy. I guarantee you that one day he will be a shadow of the past and not at all meaningful anymore.

 

be safe 

[Guest PattyCake]

First and foremost...know that all the feelings you have are completely valid.  From what you said, it sounds like he REALLY hurt you.  I also know what it feels like to be abandoned...and then go back and forth like that.

 

Take time for yourself.  Lots of self care.  Do what you love to do: coloring, taking a bath, napping... also, make yourself a schedule.  From the moment you get up until you make yourself a bedtime... make yourself a schedule and try to stick to it, I did this after being abandoned (advice that was given to me) and it really helped me heal.  I felt that I had a purpose.

 

Also, go out with friends, go to lunch, visit family...keep yourself busy.  If you sit at home and stare at that box he sent you, you will wallow in self pity.

 

To be honest, and I am basing this off of what you wrote, this guy goes not sound like a true caregiver, and you are likely better off without him.  I wish there was a magic button we could push to help each other get through tough times like this, but all I can say is, learn from it.  Not necessarily learn what you did wrong, because I'm not saying you did anything, but just think about what you want out of that kind of relationship and don't settle for just anyone.

 

I hope you feel better soon <3 

[Little_Ella]

Time is a great healer. I've been there. You think this is the end of all your happiness and you will never love anyone like that again but then someone will come along that you love even more and who will never leave you like this. The fact that he just cut you off like that when he knows you have abandonment issues is just cruel. I had a similar situation when I was much younger and it tore me to shreds. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I loved him and then years later I met my baba and now he doesn't even seem relevant. You're not alone and if you ever need to talk hit me up - I know how awful you feel right now. I promise it won't last forever and you will meet a daddy deserving of your love. Sending you a big huge cuddle across the internet xxx