zzz Posted July 11, 2016 Report Posted July 11, 2016 Situation: I know that a lot of my parent's friends are kinky. I have reason to suspect that even my own parents might be to some degree. This is all fine and dandy. I mean, obviously my parents have sex. I am living proof of this fact. And my family friends, well they're into what they're into. (there are a few photoshoots I could probably have lived without accidentally seeing... and if they knew I saw them I'm sure they'd feel the same way.) However, I am trying to make new kinky friends, and I'm aspiring to break into my local kink scene! Which means that if any of my family friends are in this scene, well, we're both gonna find out. I really really want to be active on fetlife. I want to go to my local munches and maybe even post moderately kinky photos online! But, I am really afraid that my family friends will run into me and create an awkward situation for everyone involved. Doubly so if I happen to run into my parents. On the other hand, I am a (somewhat self-sustaining) adult and I have ever right to exist in those spaces, and even if my parents found out, it's not like I'm doing anything wrong. I'm a legal adult engaging in consensual sex in the way that fulfills me the most. So... it's not like my parents can't under any circumstances find out. How do you deal with this situation?? Is it fair game for me to finally put my real location on fetlife? To be active in those communities? Is there some way that I should act if I do come in contact with family or family friends? Any and all advice is appreciated. u_u 1
Little Mouse Posted July 12, 2016 Report Posted July 12, 2016 hi, I know exactly hows u feel.. I signed for Fetlife and ran into a few people that I knew and didnt know that they were in the lifestyle, but they also didnt know how mys situation either.. mys only advice is use a screen name noobody knows and be careful who u meet and talk to. I cant offer advice about the munches, those are totally sometimes public... hope this helps... if I can help in any way plz lmk...
VADaddyWorld Posted July 12, 2016 Report Posted July 12, 2016 It is just my personal opinion, but if your parents and their friends are in the lifestyle, then they know exactly what it entails. They know it is built upon trust and consent. I think it would actually be a good thing to be "found out". As you said, you are a consenting adult. You are allowed to be yourself. To be active. If you come in contact with them, just say "Hi" and invite them to a munch! And if your suspicions are correct and your parents are actually on Fet, maybe you can approach them and have the awkward but necessary conversation with them. I have a feeling they will be a lot more open minded than most of us would find our parents to be...
Sixtytwofifty Posted July 12, 2016 Report Posted July 12, 2016 It can be common to run into unexpected friends or family, as well as the same circles, or mini-communities, within the scene. Depending on your location, you may have more choices of circles you want to play in, smaller locations are more limited. Getting to that point, and checking the different groups out are little more complicated of course. Be limiting of what you convey in public profiles, limit photos that show personal details, even street signs or logos on buildings... not to mention your smile. You can set privacy on each picture individually, to separate those for friends, and others for public. Then take your time. Join some groups on fetlife, learn as much as you can about the different munches that are going on until you feel like proceeding in person. At least these days more people do post pictures, that you may see before jumping in the pond. You can only really do your best to minimize your chances. But there will always be that 1 in whatever .... and it does happen, even in larger cities lIke Dallas/Ft Worth. lol
zzz Posted July 12, 2016 Author Report Posted July 12, 2016 thanks for the advice, guys. I didn't realize that fetlife has different privacy settings for photos, so that makes it a lot easier! Maybe I can have Mister help me to "screen" potential friends first before adding them on fetlife. That seems like a somewhat common practice anyway, so people won't find it too weird. It doesn't help too much with munches, but at least it's something!
beingthesubme Posted July 14, 2016 Report Posted July 14, 2016 I so understand this. I found out my mom is into stuff. Its awkward and a challenge. Good luck!
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