What I guess is goodbye

[Dorky]

First of all, before I begin this post.. I won't be deactivating my account for another 48 hours or so, so please feel free to message me if you wish to get in touch before I leave!  

 

What's going on Dorky?

 

For many of you who know me to a reasonable extent will know; I am diagnosed with a select few mental illnesses (depression, anxiety & quasi psychotic symptoms) and up until recently this forum was lovely for me to be a part of, thank you to all those who have helped me, which are the majority of people I've held friendly conversation with and befriended on the forum. For the past year or so I've had extreme difficulties leaving the comfort of my house and being able to socialize in any aspect. From the moment I joined this lovely community I have been greeted with open arms and I can't quite put into words how much this has helped me and even made me smile on occasion! I can't begin to explain how much I appreciate the caring friendly nature of the majority of you other forum members!

 

Unfortunately, recent times have taken a turn for the worse for me, and I do apologize to all my friends how inactive and vacant I have become recently (even to my closest of friends). I hope this post will give you guys some understanding and clarity to what is actually going on for me.

 

I have had reoccurring paranoid anxious thoughts every time I come online, I feel unwelcome and invisible every time I join the forum chat, hence why I usually join and leave within a couple of minutes. I never feel confident enough anymore to reply to anybodies forum posts or stable/secure enough to get particularly close with anyone anymore. Which is pretty saddening as I feel like I've slowly lost a big positive in my life.

 

What does this mean?

 

My semi immediate plan of action is to retire from the forum, those closest to me will still be able to contact me on skype or kik messenger, although I can't guarantee or promise that you will get an instant reply. As for the future I'm hoping when I feel stable enough to return (which could be a matter of months or even longer) I will be able to rebrace good times and enjoy the community as I once did without a constant paranoia eating me up.

 

As I have no idea how long I will be I send everyone the best of wishes and assure you all I'm being well looked after and recovery isn't far on the horizon! Love you all!  

(a special thanks to the forum staff for keeping the forum a positive and safe place to be whilst I was active)

 

[Guest AelaPiggy♥]

It's sad to hear that you're leaving, but I do hope you find youraelf again. I wish you the best. In the end, all will be well.

[Guest DanishDaddy73]

I feel for you friend, eventhough I don't know you, my emotional side is crying for you. I've been down and out before, my only advice is find what motivates you to fight, for every day is a struggle, fight and fight and then fight some more, have your motivation in mind, not the battles you fought or still have to fight. It's easier said than done, I know. But I pray you find strenght, eventhough I'm a ateist.

[Guest AmberDoll]

I'm so sad that you have been going threw all this! I really wish I could take all your doubts about yourself away and save you from feeling these things! T~T I adore you and i'm so happy to have met you on here you truly are my bff on here and I absolutely adore our chats! with you I can be as weird as I want and you totally get me your such a caring sweet person, your one of the very few people on here who aren't creepy. I love you Matt and I hope you come back soon cause there isn't as much fun here for me with out you. i'll always be around to Skype with or Kik and watch Skins together again X3 *Snuggles* your a warrior and I know you will beat this.      

[Michael]

I have had reoccurring paranoid anxious thoughts every time I come online, I feel unwelcome and invisible every time I join the forum chat, hence why I usually join and leave within a couple of minutes.

 

I'm sure you know this, but always remember that people aren't ignoring you on purpose. The thing about the chat is that it works best for people who are naturally very chatty and social. You just have to push yourself a little and put yourself out there and it's possible to have great conversations. But that's easier said than done, and as a shy person, I also struggle to come out of my shell.

 

I wish you the best, dorkydaddy.

[sirenaophelia]

I can relate. Just want you to know YOU AREN'T ALONE!!!!

 

I hope things work out for the best. I haven't known you but... You seem pretty nice of a person. I hope your troubles dissipate or at least calm down...

[Tiger Striperino]

I know we didn't talk much, or at all even, but I'm sorry that you're so troubled. I hope you feel better, even though that's not saying much.

[Guest Abradolf Lincler]

Bye dorky. I always teased ya, but you will be missed!

[Guest Thatlilturtle20]

I'm sorry for your troubles. I too have suffered from depression, anxiety, and paranoia. I sometimes still do. I wish you the best of luck. And I hope you find yourself again.