The Ever Varying Philosophies of Dominance and Submission

[WickedJax]

There's something that's been on my mind lately. In my time as a DD I have encounter many little's from every walk of life, and since joining this site almost just as many Dominants. I've become more and more aware, with every exchange with every person that is, of how very different each of us can potentially see the DDlg, and to a greater extent, BDSM lifestyle. 

 

Whenever a little begins to show interest in my I always ask the same thing. "What do you expect from your Dominant?" There are various of the questions, but this is gist: What level of Dominance are you looking for, and what level of submission do you represent?

 

One little told me the best Daddy she had been with wanted to control every aspect of her life, from the clothes she wore, to her schedule, to the times she was allowed to use the restroom. This sort of thing was the sort of thing she seemed to want the most, an absolute in her Dominant. Another, however, told me she wanted to be absolutely submissive only when it came to us. Our interactions, our sex life. But when it came to outside world, her own schedule, her own life and work, she was to be in absolute control. I've also encountered people who aren't quite sure what they're looking for, and ultimately are looking for the experience to say for themselves what they want. 

 

On the flip side I've also heard of interactions with Dominants who wanted absolute control over their little, who would go so far as to say that they were looking to teach a little to suppress their own personalities to be a gift for their Dominant. However, I myself contradict that sentiment as what I want is a little who equal parts submissive and independent. Someone who chooses to submit to me out of love and respect, and only when they wish to. That sort of strong willed sense of self control is attractive to me. It's interesting to me that there is such variety in the actual level of control and submission that is exchanged in each, individual relationship. 

 

So I'm curious, where do you see yourself, both Dominants and submissives? Do expect your little to be/are you greatly and absolutely submissive? Or perhaps fiercely independent with a little life behind closed doors? I think we should all consider where we fall on this "philosophy spectrum," particularly those still looking for a partner. Consider who you are as a Dom/little, and what you want from your counterpart. I think a more objective viewpoint would held many find the right person.

[DaddyMike86]

Hello, I am new to this lifestyle and a DD. I am still learning about this lifestyle and enjoying it more and more as I learn. I find myself drawn towards the 50/50 aspect, taking control when a submissive is with me but understanding they also have an life out side of their little space. I have just recently found a little to call my own, I know I won't be perfect right from the start I am only human but so far I am loving every part of this lifestyle. I do have a lot to still discuss with my little to find out more of what she wants out of me and what I want out of her.

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

As a switch and as I have a dominant that is a switch, as we are both pansexual, there needs to be personality there. Allowing one to suppress your own personality and desires seems almost to abusive and horrifying to think about. Allowing it can cause such troubles. Wanting every aspect to be controlled is terrifying to both of us as we have been oppressed by others from expressing ourselves. We are artists in our work and craft. Every individual is different and walks their own beat, to have someone treat you as nothing more than a robot and as a doll isn't for us. Our relationship is co dependent on who we are because chemistry is important. I don't get along with many, so this is especially important to me.

 

I have found a partner that meets my needs. Someone to help me through life, to teach me and show me new things and help with the outside world as I have been stuck in my head and sheltered most of my life. In return I show undying love and my own personality that blends oh so well with his. As a dominant he is more carefree and not as strict. I have asked we come up with a few things to help me become a better person and habits I have failed to pick up when I needed them. He is there to be a muse, protector, teacher and over all someone I can be with as a friend and a lover. With our spirituality he has greatly helped me through things and we have grown together. (To long of an explanation, especially if you can't understand most of it). As he wishes to care for all my needs, he is in fact devoted. Though our relationship can seem strange, we are happy. Take it in example I am a small child and he is a large pet wolf. A witch with a demon.