I just have a question

[LittleBatgirl]

So I'm new to the ddlg life and I found a daddy I love beyond anything but here's our situation I'm 20 his 50. His also married to a vanilla woman and they don't really have sex mostly oral when they do. And I don't wanna be with someone else but I was wondering what would other daddys say if they're little wanted to date a vanilla guy and this was the situation. I've been talking to one of my vanilla friend and she asked me if I was allowed to date vanilla guys and I asked my daddy he said we would talk about it later when we see each other again. I just wanted other thoughts I'll listen to what my daddy wants but I just was curious on others thoughts. Thank u.

[Guest Ginger-kit22]

Personally, if he's with someone else, I wouldn't be his Little. Is his wife aware of what's going on? I mean, age is just a number after 18, so it's whatever you're most comfortable wtih I think.

[Michael]

A married man who isn't getting much sex is with a girl 30 years younger than him. I wonder what for? 

 

I think you should walk away if he doesn't let you date other guys on the side. He has a wife, it's not a fair situation if he expects you to only be with him. 

[Johnny Hammersticks]

My little isnt allowed to date other dudes, but we are in a committed full time relationship. Sounds like you guys are more part time.

 

So id say it depends on how much control you want to let him have, on whether you can date other guys or not.

[Gregisthedaddy]

So I'm new to the ddlg life and I found a daddy I love beyond anything but here's our situation I'm 20 his 50. His also married to a vanilla woman and they don't really have sex mostly oral when they do. And I don't wanna be with someone else but I was wondering what would other daddys say if they're little wanted to date a vanilla guy and this was the situation. I've been talking to one of my vanilla friend and she asked me if I was allowed to date vanilla guys and I asked my daddy he said we would talk about it later when we see each other again. I just wanted other thoughts I'll listen to what my daddy wants but I just was curious on others thoughts. Thank u.

My advice, you need to get off the internet and get a real life boyfriend. 

No weird edgy internet bullshit.

[Trixie]

Personally, if he's with someone else, I wouldn't be his Little. Is his wife aware of what's going on? I mean, age is just a number after 18, so it's whatever you're most comfortable wtih I think.

  

 

I was wondering the same thing, if his wife knew?

 

A married man who isn't getting much sex is with a girl 30 years younger than him. I wonder what for? 

 

I think you should walk away if he doesn't let you date other guys on the side. He has a wife, it's not a fair situation if he expects you to only be with him.

 

agreed.

[LittleBatgirl]

His wife knows that he finds outlets for his dom side since she can't do that for him. He doesnt tell her much about it and if I was her I wouldn't really wanna know about his lifestyle either.

[Gregisthedaddy]

His wife knows that he finds outlets for his dom side since she can't do that for him. He doesnt tell her much about it and if I was her I wouldn't really wanna know about his lifestyle either.

Instead of thinking of outcucking him put your pride to good use and leave, find a good man that wants you and only you.

[Princess-P]

It sounds to me like your exactly what you said. And outlet.

 

If this is what your happy being, because that's all you ever will be to him, then no big deal.

 

Your "Daddy" may tell you to date other men, and if he says no I'd say drop him quick. Fair is fair and if your just his play thing there's no reason for you to monogamous. But IF he does say yes you will of course have to be honest with anyone you choose to date.

 

Does this married man choose you over his wife? Does he break plans with her to see you? Does he ignore you when he's with her? Do the two if you have a public relationship? Ie; go on dates, spend time out of the bedroom, or does he expect sex every time he sees you?

 

If he doesn't put you first and your ok with that, and if you start seeing someone else, make sure to give the new person a chance. Be completely honest with them, but don't push them aside when "Daddy" calls.

[LittleBatgirl]

So my daddy isn't a horrible guy that's y all of this is difficult his great and amazingly sweet and thoughtful. But this other guy... the guy I want as a bf his wonderful in so many ways and o told him all about this and his been fighting for me... no one ever fights for me. I just don't know what to do...

[Guest QueenJellybean]

I wasn't going to weigh in on this, but as it's progressed, I feel it's important to address this from a poly perspective.

 

As someone who is polyamorous (consensually engages in multiple relationships at once) everything about this worries me. You say your Daddy has a wife that is vanilla, and she's aware that he finds "outlets" for his Dom-side online. That doesn't answer whether or not his wife is aware and consenting of his relationship with you. And if she is, and she's comfortable with it, then that's great. But it certainly doesn't sound like the case at all. Have you met in person? Do you talk on the phone? Have you spoken to his wife? Does he promise he's going to leave his wife for you but never does? Are there periods were he won't talk to you because his wife is around? Is he hiding you from the other people in his life, like his friends? If it's hard to answer these questions, then perhaps the real issue here is that you are in a relationship with someone who does not prize you as highly as you prize him. You say that he's an amazing wonderful guy, but an amazing wonderful guy understands that you and his wife are both human beings with feelings and deserve the honest, open truth, as well as love, respect, and mutual communication. I'm not sure he's doing any of these things.

 

As for your other possible partner, this smacks of unhealthy in a lot of ways. If your Daddy is married and has you as a Little, then he shouldn't have any right to restrict you having another relationship. The other people in your life should not have to "fight" for you.

 

There is a lot of hypocrisy and double standards in this story, and I'm very worried about you, OP. Stuff like this gives people who actively, and safely practice polyamory a bad name. Nothing about this is okay, and you deserve a lot better than being confused about what to do with a partner who clearly isn't making the effort to put you first. 

Edited June 21, 2016 by BabyBelugaBelle

[LittleBatgirl]

His wife doesn't know me specifically but knows of his dom lifestyle and he sleeps with other ppl that r into the lifestyle and I have meet him and we text. He has never said he wanted to leave his wife for me he does love her but like I said needed the outlet. I do appreciate all the help but his not an awful person he is a good person. From all of this I think the best I can do is talk to him and hope he sees that I should date outside of him and that I do hope he continues to be my daddy im sorry if anyone got upset by my question all I wanted was some help cuz im new and have never been in this situation before and wanted some clarity thank u for ur help.