I dunno what to do....

[KiaraAttanoBanner]

So I have been struggling recently with my little side. My family was talking a little while ago about how my mom would feel if she witnessed someone asking if 'daddy' could pass something and both the father and boyfriend (or girlfriend but that's a whole 'nother issue) both reached for said thing. She was vehement that she would have to smack one of us if we did (I have 4 other sisters and a brother) and be angry with whomever else because it's disrespectful to the father and such and maybe I'm reading too much into it but I'm afraid she'd be super angry with me if I told her I'm a little which brings up the point that I may actually be a switch because I would adore a little of my own but I am 100% certain I couldn't be a good Mommy and I've never had a relationship ddlg or otherwise and I'm sure I'll mess everything up with my horrendous communicating skill and I just find myself afraid and frustrated most of the time and being incredibly stressed from wanting to be a little fantasizing about being a little and sometimes what it'd be like to be a Mommy but knowing I'd never be able to be firm with my little and then my parents and grandmother are super opinionated and christian and I just can't get into head space ever because I'm always so on edge. I don't even have a door on my room so I can't hide well enough up there to get into head space so I read fanfiction and have my stuffies which my mom says I should get rid of because I'm too old but I love my Hulk-bear and the others and my new Paci that I just got and snuck into my room....I just figured maybe someone with an outside perspective could tell me objectively if I should just give up since I know I won't be leaving this place for a quite a while.

[mikereper]

here's a good rule that's really good to think at in life : if you do a thing with no bad intention or will to hurt others or yourself , then you should be allowed the thing .

getting to have a paci and toys is more of an convenience then anything ,and since you don't own your own home (i understand from what you said , that you live from your familly)

you don't get to make the rules for the house ,you'r not really hurting anyone by trying to be little or mommy , it's more of self discovering , but you'r not in a situation where you have all your freedoms , unless you move to live on your own .

you also said that you never been in a ddlg relationship , if you want to know more if you'r more into being a little or mommy , you should give it a shot , fear is always there , weather you like it or not , but bravery is to act even when knowing there is fear .

oh , and there is no such thing as horrendous communication skills , you have the ability to use words , it's only a matter of getting used to anther person and exchanging information with them

[littlelili]

Hello Kiara. There is nothing wrong with thinking of being a switch. I think that many daddies were afraid in the beginning that they wouldn't be able to be firm enough. But everything takes practice and a little of research.

I have two little advices for you:

 

you dont have to fit in any of the ddlg definitions you read on the internet. The best of little space is that you can make your own reality. You can choose your age, your preferences and everything that helps you to be comfy and happy.

 

don't rush in facing the prejudices shared in that dreadful family conversation. Getting in a confrontation with them at this moment could end in you being hurt. Be true to what makes you happy and work on it. ^^ work to be a better little, a firmer mommy, a better comunicator, and when the right person appears I'm sure you'll be in a happy healthy relationship ^^

Hugs x