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@RoseyLittle @NickyMoon @MissNMTX @kimmybunny @Zina @SquirtleSquad @mecwmello @littlegala @browneyedgirl Hello all its that time!!! We are going to start with 3 chapters but I will check in and we may up it if everyone wants. So for this week read the prologue and chapter 1 and 2. Normally assignments will go out on Wednesday and I usually have questions up by Sunday. Let me know if yall have any questions. @DaddysCosmicBunny @BabyGirlEmber I havnt heard from yall so we got started. Please let me know if you are still planning on reading with us.

💬 What Is Ghosting? Ghosting means suddenly cutting off all communication with someone—no replies, no explanation, just silence. It often happens through DMs, dating apps, or social media. ⚪ Why People Ghost (3 Common Reasons) 1. Avoiding Conflict: They fear awkwardness or hurting someone’s feelings. 2. Loss of Interest: They no longer feel connected or engaged. 3. Feeling Overwhelmed: Stress or emotional burnout makes them withdraw. 💔 How Ghosting Affects the Person Ghosted Confusion and self-doubt 😕 Feelings of rejection 💭 No closure, lingering questions ❓ Anxiety about future relationships 💬 🌱 Coping with Being Ghosted Acknowledge your feelings — it’s okay to feel hurt. Don’t overanalyze — their silence reflects *them*, not your worth. Lean on friends or support — talk it out. Refocus on self-care — do what makes you feel grounded. Set healthy online boundaries — protect your emotional space. How to End Things Respectfully (Instead of Ghosting) ✨ Be kind, clear, and honest: “I’ve enjoyed chatting, but I don’t feel this is the right connection for me.” ✨ Use “I” statements: “I need some time for myself right now.” ✨ Keep it short, gentle, and respectful. ✨ Remember: clarity is kinder than silence. 💡Final Thought Ghosting may feel like the easy option—but honest communication builds empathy, trust, and maturity online. 💛

Thank you for trusting us enough to share all of this. Truly. The amount of courage it takes to open up while you’re in the struggle, while everything feels heavy and dark, is enormous, even if it doesn’t feel that way to you right now. What you wrote is honest, brave, and incredibly human. I want you to know that you’re not alone in this pattern. So many people, far more than you’d ever guess, feel exactly what you’re describing: needing support the most right when it feels hardest to reach for it… worrying about being “too much”… fearing that showing the darker moments will push people away. That doesn’t make you broken; it makes you human and sensitive. And those qualities, even when they feel like burdens, are actually signs of how deeply you care. It also makes complete sense that past experiences have taught you to hide your pain. When you’ve been celebrated only for being the “happy, bubbly” version of yourself, it trains you to think that your darker moments are unwelcome. But the people who truly care about you, the ones who deserve a place in your support system, want all of you, not just the polished parts. You don’t have to present a guidebook or have the perfect words. Reaching out can be as simple as: “Hey, I’m having a rough day. Can you check in with me?” or “I don’t need solutions, I just don’t want to feel alone right now.” It’s okay if your voice shakes when you ask. It’s okay if you cry. It’s okay if you don’t know exactly what you need. Support doesn’t require perfection, it just requires connection. And you are not “too much.” You are someone who is trying their best while carrying something heavy. People who care about you don’t want the edited version of your life; they want the real one, even when it’s shadowed. Learning to stop pushing people away is a process, not a switch you flip. You can start very small: Send a single message to someone you trust. Practice saying one honest sentence about how you feel. Let yourself receive something without apologizing for it. Little steps count. They build the muscle. You deserve support. You deserve softness. You deserve people who stay, even in the dark. And the fact that you’re here, reaching out, tells me you’re already moving toward that. One day, you’ll look back at this version of you with so much compassion and pride for how hard you fought to show up for yourself. You’re not doing this alone, even right now. You’re doing better than you think. Keep going. 💛

@RoseyLittle @NickyMoon @MissNMTX @kimmybunny @Zina @SquirtleSquad @mecwmello @browneyedgirl @DaddysCosmicBunny Alright freinds its that time!! Go ahead and read chapters 3-5. Questions will be up on Sunday per usual. Happy reading. P.S. A few of ypu havnt been checking in the recommended twice a week or required once a week, you will want to do this to avoid being removed from the participation list. Thank you.

@RoseyLittle @NickyMoon @MissNMTX @kimmybunny @Zina @SquirtleSquad @BabyGirlEmber @mecwmello @browneyedgirl @littlegala (This is my current participation list. If you dont see your name I dont have you added and ypu need to contact me!) Hello all Pigtail book wurm extraordinaire here again! It is that time!!! Another vote for our next group read. Yall almost unanimously wanted something more involved and intense so I have provided! I still tried to give some variation but these will all be longer more involved reads often with more mature themes. If these arnt your cup of tea we will see you on the next one (most likely a modern day sappy one! No magic). I have tried to provide a even better description for each this time. Since they are more intense if you have alot of serious triggers please look up a full list for your selection. Each person can vote once and if needed I will do a tie break vote. Pole will be up a week, please only vote if you are in NNC and plan on reading. OPTIONS: Option 1: Fairydale by Veronica Lancet Paranormal Romance TRIGGERS: (A few of the more intense ones please look up full list if you have alot of triggers because this has many): Attempted SA, loss of a child, blood play, torture, violence and mass death, and self harm. Blurb: Fairydale is a dark gothic historical romance with horror, paranormal & fantasy elements. This is NOT a traditional love triangle. It features a villainous love interest that would end the world for his beloved and an all-encompassing love story spanning millennia. This is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18. Please check the triggers before reading. Pages: 772 📖📖📖📖 Option 2: Heir by Sabaa Tahir Fantasy Romance TRIGGERS: (One of a few but less triggers by far than Option 1): Genocide, war, loss of a child, grief, and torture Blurb: Beloved storyteller Sabaa Tahir interweaves the lives of three young people as they grapple with power, treachery, love, and the devastating consequences of unchecked greed, on a journey that may cost them their lives―and their hearts. Literally. Pages: 484 📖📖📖📖 Option 3: Night Market by Jesikah Sundin Fae Fantasy Romance TRIGGERS: (Seems to have low triggers): Grief, violence, psychological abuse, and trauma. Blurb: A mortal seer enslaved by a traveling faerie market. A Raven shifter forced to marry to save his Caravan tribe. And a future not even the cards could predict. Pages: 548 📖📖📖📖 Option 4: Noticadia by Keri Lake Dark Academia Gothic Romance TRIGGERS: (Seems to have a fair list but less than option 1) Murder, child abuse, SA, torture, and autopsy scenes. Blurb: a dark academia gothic romance about a young woman who enrolls at the prestigious Dracadia University to find a cure for her mother's mysterious illness, only to become entangled in a forbidden relationship with her enigmatic and cold professor, Devryck Bramwell, also known as "Doctor Death" Pages: 682 📖📖📖📖 Option 5: The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy by Megan Bannen Fantasy Romance Light Hearted TRIGGERS: (medium number of triggers from description) Autopsy and body parts, blood/gore, gun violence, cancer, and animal death. Blurb: a lonely marshal named Hart and a competent undertaker named Mercy who initially despise each other. They anonymously become pen pals, forming a tentative friendship through letters, unaware they are corresponding with the person they most dislike in real life. Pages: 449

@RoseyLittle @NickyMoon @MissNMTX @kimmybunny @Zina @SquirtleSquad @mecwmello @browneyedgirl @littlegala Hello all!!! The first chapters are officially up!!!

I have an imaginary one lol he’s called Sebastian

That's one of the reasons I became a Mommy Dom, because I wanted to feel the love I never received and to be able to love those around me. We all deserve love and we are worthy of being loved. When I was single I would talk to myself the way I would a little, because I needed a reminder that I wasn't broken and I definitely wasn't bad. What a beautiful community we truly have here ❤️

Thank you for writing what you did, and having the courage to risk for yourself. My heart constricted reading the pain you went through at the hands of others. And it soared reading how you have honoured that wound by taking care of yourself and resourcing yourself, and how safely it seems your daddy is holding you in it too. You are so welcome and wanted here. ♥️ you deserve to take up space and voice. And you deserve to let your little fly free! I’ve only been here a little while but, but I’m constantly amazed by the care of others in this space. As shown in the beautiful replies of @Lil_K47 and @MasterPhotog Im going to take a threat response approach and just normalize the way our system can go into a freeze response when it feels triggered or activated by the feeling of threat/stress. It’s really normal to have things we just can’t say yet. Certain words or even just getting a little none verbal as a whole. That happens to me sometimes and it’s absolutely like all the words are in your head, but you can’t push them out your throat. And sometimes no matter what we try to do from our head, it’s the body that is storing the trauma response and is holding on tight. Something I’ve learned that can help, in my own process and when working with the trauma of others is to help ground and soothe the trauma response down. And work with tiny little tips and tricks. So here’s a few I know: 1. We can just be compassionate and patient to the process, knowing it will come when ready. We don’t need to push it or force it. Not saying it doesn’t make it not true. He’s your daddy. 2. We can embrace the nonverbal and do thinks that speak it in other ways. Most connection is felt through non verbal any way! 😜 I’ve had clients who text the words or write them down. Who pick a code word they can say that means the word they can’t. Who choose a touch that means what they want to say but can’t. Even one who could sing it when they couldn’t say it! We can get creative. 3. We can put ourselves in as much as a soothing grounded state before we try. When I have to say vulnerable things, I can’t make eye contact. I need my daddy to squish me close to his body and burrow my face in. And then sometimes I can whisper it. And sometimes not. And it’s okay. 4. We can do a somatic exercise to wake up the throat and help shift out of the freeze response. Moving our body can help move the state. Dance party! Silly wiggles. Or my absolute favourite, I get the client and myself to both start a low hum together and then slowly build up and up in sound til we are yelling a big strong loud note! One time I did this exercise in a day program trauma group I was running at a shelter I worked at, with like 40 guys in the room. I didn’t think about how loud that would actually get and shelter security came bursting in the door. 🤣 Oops! The point is that literally singing, or humming or having a good roar can help unfreeze our voice. But no matter what, it’s already in your heart. It’s in your eyes the way you look and him and thoughts. The way you are with him. It’s okay to let your body find the trust and healing to happen in its time. And it’s also okay to practice. There’s no right or wrong. Just what feels good to you. ♥️

@marshmalloww First, thank you for being so strong and for sharing this with us. Congratulations on removing yourself from a negative situation that caused you so much pain, shame, and grief. And congratulations as well for taking care of your anxiety and allowing yourself to grow into the new person you feel you’re becoming. Your daddy sounds like an amazing, supportive, and loving individual, which I know you're proud of having in your life. Sometimes we don’t have a choice but to be extremely busy. What matters most is that you continue to make time to care for yourself, rest well, and spend meaningful moments with your daddy. That’s what truly counts. It’s unfortunate that some people in our society still choose judgment and negativity. Please remember that their behavior says everything about them and nothing about you. Their discomfort is not yours to carry. Their comments do not define your future. Their judgment will never outweigh the truth of who you are or the beauty of what you’ve built. In addition to following great advice that @Lil_K47 has offered you, here's a motivational letter you want to write and read on difficult days: Dear Me, I know today feels heavy. I know the world can be loud, unkind, and confusing when others project their fears and insecurities onto your relationship. But before you absorb even a fraction of that negativity, take a breath and come back to what is real: your love, your integrity, and your courage. You and your Daddy did not choose each other by accident. You chose each other because your hearts connect in a way that is genuine, meaningful, and grounded in real care. That choice is an act of strength, not something to be doubted or diminished. Remember this: people's negative behavior says everything about them and nothing about you or your daddy. Their discomfort is not your burden. Their comments do not define your future. Their judgment will never outweigh the truth of who you are or the beauty of what you’ve built. You have already survived so much more than anyone can see on the surface. Every moment you stand in your love — openly, honestly, proudly, you are choosing courage over fear and authenticity over pressure. You deserve to be treated with dignity. You deserve safety. You deserve joy. And you deserve a relationship that reflects your heart, not other people’s limitations. When the world feels harsh, hold on to what’s yours: Your compassion. Your resilience. Your place beside someone who loves you deeply. Your right to walk in public without apology. Let today’s heaviness fall away, piece by piece. You are not alone. You are not fragile. You are not wrong for loving boldly. You are growing into the strongest version of yourself — the one who knows their worth, stands tall in their truth, and refuses to shrink for anyone’s comfort. And on every tough day to come, remember this: You are bigger than the shadows cast by small, negative minds. You are deserving of love in its fullest, freest form. And your story is one of courage, connection, and unshakeable strength. With pride in your journey, Your future and proud self - - - Please take care of yourself, and feel free to reach out to me directly anytime without worrying about being judged. Wishing you happiness — now and always!

i'm so very sorry you went through such a difficult time, I'm so very sorry people made you feel uncomfortable with who you want to be. And let me just say there is absolutely nothing wrong with you that you are perfect exactly the way you are! This community here is incredibly welcoming and we accept everybody for who they are! So I hope you will find lots of great friends and great support here within these "walls" Mental health is definitely no joke I am so glad you were able to find a good provider and get started on some medicines that are helping you that's a very big step! One I've had to take as well! It sounds like your daddy is wonderfully supportive of you. Id say take things slow. talk with him and let him know how you're feeling and then together come up with a plan to maybe ease yourself back into that little set of mine with him. In a real life almost like you're having to rebuild the trust even though I'm sure it's still there, once you've had a bad experience and you've been hurt it's hard to start over again. And it sounds like he understands that and that's a wonderful thing! I'm sure some others will chime in here eventually with some great advice! Sending you some big hugs and if you ever need to have a chat feel free to reach out anytime! Also the lighthouse circle is a great club here and it's a great space for getting advice letting loose your feelings. The moderators of that club are absolutely fabulous and always available for personal messages!

hey sweetie I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. You know I think most of us have that reaction when we get into that dark place. We want to crawl away in our Heidi hole and hide from the world while desperately, secretly hoping someone will reach out and ask if we're OK, and see through the front that we're putting on! Admitting that you're struggling and reaching out is a huge step! It's not easy to do, it's not easy to admit that you're struggling even to people that you're comfortable with. Sometimes our inner self can be our own worst enemy! So good job for reaching out and staying connected! You've been given some great advice here and I truly hope it helps! Feel free to reach out anytime if you need to have a chat. Sending big hugs!

I echo everything already said here. You are absolutely not alone. These are the processes that happen over tons of little baby steps woven together. Our adaptive survival based responses have often been around for years and years, honoring them for how they helped us, and then changing them into new ones takes lots of messy practice along the journey. And I just wanted to offer…you’re actually already doing it. You’re already in the steps doing something so vulnerable and hard and it’s freakin beautiful. ♥️ You sent a message to someone (or a space) you trusted, you said an honest sentence about how you feel, and then you let yourself receive something from it without apology or minimizing it. You did that! It’s an act of radical rebellion from what you grew up in. I grew up in a lot of trauma, and I learned it was never safe to have needs/feelings of my own. It took me a long time to unpack and shift that, and it’s still a daily practice sometimes. One thing that helped me was beginning to realize that vulnerabilities create intimacy. That when I let people around me know the truth of my struggling it doesn’t create burden at all (with safe others/spaces), it creates permission for them to show their vulnerabilities too. It creates connection and depth. So thank you for being brave and vulnerable here. It’s meaningful.

@RoseyLittle @NickyMoon @MissNMTX @kimmybunny @Zina @SquirtleSquad @mecwmello @browneyedgirl @DaddysCosmicBunny Alright folks its time to check in! Let me know how the first few chapters are going for ypu please since new assignments come out tomorrow!!! Remember if I dont hear from folks weekly I remove them from pings.

It honestly is nice to see people being able to relate and reading bout the experiences. Brings me a lot of comfort 💛

I like having only a few chapters to worry about that way I don't get overwhelmed and feel bad because i'm a terrible procrastinator lol. The 2-3 chapter reads are also so nice since I do most of my reading at work so being able to knock out the chapters in the few hours of "down time" I have at work are so nice too!

I have it!! It was on my TBR too so I just had to return some kindle unlimited books to get it 🤭

@RoseyLittle @NickyMoon @MissNMTX @kimmybunny @Zina @SquirtleSquad @BabyGirlEmber @mecwmello @browneyedgirl @littlegala @DaddysCosmicBunny Alright friends we have enough votes in that even the few who havnt voted wouldnt change the outcome, so our book this time is Nocticadia by Keri Lake! Feel free to purchase and over the next couple days I will be setting up the topics so yall will want to familiarize yourself with them especially if you havnt done a group read with us before. Please check in here when you have the book and are ready to go.

I had never thought of it that way, but you all put words on how I feel. I do have an internal CG! That’s soooooo helpful to realize. For me, it feels like a soothing voice inside my head that helps me take one thing at a time, reminds me to take breaks and to take care of myself. If I had to describe it, I would say my internal caregiver is more like an older (and wiser) version of myself, taking care of my actual self. Thank you all for this topic and all of your replies ❤️

The link below explains in detail what a BIOS is. What it is in very basic terms is a set of instructions on a small chip that checks the basic running of the PC and allows the Operating System to load https://www.lenovo.com/us/en/glossary/what-is-a-bios/?orgRef=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&srsltid=AfmBOooncHKbJJQxFPh2BNsxFZMYcGftejJ9iYRnC_nA1mFvM6ypq3cb Some people don't like that some OS (Operating System) providers, like microsoft, force their changes on users. Sometimes they take good things away and add functions of little to no use for most users. The link below explains what an OS is. It basically allocates computer resources like memory, graphics, processing power or storage space (hard drive) to software you might install. It is what allows you to interact with the programs you install. It also attempts to keep you and your data safe in a world where threats exist. https://www.ibm.com/think/topics/operating-systems

Trigger warnings: themes of abuse I just wanted to reach out and connect to let you know there are absolutely people here who hear you and how hard all these pieces are. Ghosting (unless we are talking putting on a ghostly costume and going booooo) can be so harmful. I often have to hold friends or clients when they experience this from others. It’s sad how often it is. Most people don’t do well with either conflict, or endings. They are hard and so they are avoided. And unfortunately the internet makes it really easy to avoid. Even a simple ‘I don’t feel the connection but I wish you the best’ is avoided. For myself, I try to remember most of it is anxious avoidance on the parts of others, from their own wounded parts. Aaaand sometimes it’s just plain inconsiderateness. But it is completely reasonable that it hurts you, and that you expect more. You deserve to be treated with integrity. You have the right to ask for that. And I’m so sorry your experiencing it. I wanted to offer that having a temporary caregiver (or some pre set boundaries) for some, is a beautiful option. Especially in windows of time when you know you’re going to be in the grind and need that extra voice to help you. For myself, because of the trauma I grew up in, I didn’t date at all when I was younger. I was very terrified of men. In university the first dynamic I ever connected to was a discipline dom, with no romantic or sexual elements. Totally platonic. He was married and deeply in love with his non-kinky wife. She loved him and gave him permission to connect in non sexual dynamics. She became close friends of mine. And having him was the first time in my life I started really taking care of myself and it moved me towards therapy and a lot of amazing healing. He was a caregiver to me in many ways. It allowed me to be my best self in school. And he was the first man who taught me men can be safe. I got to witness his beautiful love for his partner and how happy they were. With his support, I eventually started dating for the first time and connected to my first personal/dynamic relationship. I even talked to him about how I would know when I was ready and felt safe enough to have consensual sex with my first partner. In terms of how we did it, I had rules and a system of punishments/rewards, we met at least every two weeks for dynamic, talked often in chat, but we also just did things for friendship and bonding. And I became a part of their friend group and actually met my first partner/daddy through that. Keeping it platonic was not difficult for either of us. And it fed both of us what we needed. We both needed that boundary. And it even supported his marriage. And we ended it naturally when it came time and remained friends. In the beginning I used to feel worried about me getting so much out of our connection, and somehow “using” him. But he loved to remind me just how deeply good it feels for him to be needed. And how the same way it soothes me, it soothes him. I also wasn’t sure of if I could be in a dynamic and not, well…fall in love? Or get mixed up by feelings. But for us it worked. I did love him, as a friend and as a caregiver. But that never shifted into anything else. I think the thing that really helped us. Is we both wanted the same boundaries. And we were able to be very clear and communicative from the very beginning. I hope this helps a little bit to normalize what you are maybe looking for right now. And I’m sure others in this space have wisdom or stories too. It’s completely okay to do things temporary and/or platonic however you need. It would be your dynamic. There is no one way or right way to do this stuff. ♥️

I love this, I always thought it was weird I wouldn't take care of myself without my internal cg telling me to. It just feels depressing until then. When I was single, it felt more like a mothering side of me but now I picture it coming sweetly from my fiancé. It makes me happy to imagine but sad if I think about it too much because he would ever say those things. I'm happy with acceptance though, I don't need him to participate even if I'd like him to. But maybe one day... 🙂

I just have to say, I felt this moment of awe reading this thread, the collective creativity, vulnerability and wisdom is just beautiful. It can be so powerful when we connect to our inner child work, especially through an IFS lens or any way where we internalize a caregiving energy/role or reparent ourself through our adult ego state. I did many years of IFS with EMDR in my own trauma therapy journey. And I definitely needed the creation of an internal caregiver part. I learned to be able to listen to that part’s soothing and guiding voice when needed, and they are always in my imagined safe space when I need it. I’ve noticed over the years that they got me through periods of being alone as sub/littles too. Like it was this part of me that reminded me to eat or take good care of myself. I actually went out and got a stuff bear Mr. Top, like a gift from this part of myself. I’ve had Mr Top for about 18 years, through different relationships. But this internal caregiver part is a consistent that never goes away. Since being with my Daddy, he added a voice message into my bear from him. But he still ultimately represents the part of myself that will never abandon me. ♥️

I love it that you help the community and less fortunate ones. Keep up the good work!

Well I'm really blessed to be a Muslim by birth 💓 and I always try to feed and give sadaqah as it's our prophet's Sunnah

@MasterPhotog @RoseyLittle I was really hoping you both would chime in here!! I don't know why I didn't think to tag you guys! lol as always you guys give fabulous, comforting, and encouraging advice! Insights which are useful to all of us! Thank you both for being here to guide us! ❤️❤️

I really can't top the great advice above, but I was wondering, is it just the word "Daddy" or all titles of that kind? Like could you call him an alternate and maybe ease into "Daddy"? When I first started admitting to myself that I was little, saying "Daddy" felt really weird because of the stigmas but I was raised Southern so saying "Sir" was easy so that is how I referred to my first Daddy. I never once called him "Daddy" our whole relationship. I'm comfortable with it now but it definitely took time and having an alternate title helped.

Alright folks this is where most of the day to day chat will go on! I will post important stuff here as well as the Important posts topic so yall dont miss it. You may discuss anything in the book here the week after it is assigned just make sure to use spoilers that state what page number it is from. Happy chatting!

I just have to say that I am really enjoying being a part of this! I read a lot but reading with yall makes it more fun

New assignments are up!!!

I agree!!! The last two were good but my tastes lie much darker 🤣🤣🤣 so this is REALLY GOOD. But thats is a good sign it means we are getting good variety between books which is perfect. Also the Alex meme was PERFECT 🤣🤣🤣

Loving it so far!! It captured me right away, finding this one much harder to put down at the chapter limits than the last one. Oh the willpower!!

Hi, I skimmed through the resources for professional support and I didnt see this one! https://www.kapprofessionals.org/ Kink Aware Professionals I knew they had therapist but they have all types of doctors and fields for support. Both my therapist and psych are on there and hsve been very kind and supportive. Of course therwpy isnt one size fit all but this made getting into therapy much easier. I would really rec it!! You aren't alone, some of the are praticing so really understand some of the things you are sharing. Love ya!!!

Buhahaah love this as it is me too. Enjoy friend

I often find people who say things like this... especially in regards to moving forward is to simply forgive. That's often impossible depending on the scars they've made. You can forget but never forgive and even still you'll never forget. Truly, healing is prioritizing you and your little humans and move forward with your head held high and hope and faith in yourself for a good future without harm being done to you or them. Healing doesn't always include forgiveness. To share, I'm adopted because my Birth mother was heavy in drugs. She passed this year and many people suggested I forgive the abandonment because I would heal. There s still anger, frustration, pain, and deep anxiety but you know what! It doesn't rule me. I won't let it. I move forward knowing that my boundaries have kept me sane and safe and moving on with my life will not include forgiveness but it includes her being put aside for a happier me and life. I hope you get to have that. You deserve it. I often, when people try to share their thoughts on that touchy topic for me is very honestly say that I'm not seeking advice for that and I've made my decision. I dunno if you can do that but strong boundaries around that topic has brought me peace.

Oh wow... this hit very close to home. I'm so sorry you've been through this. I can actually say that I understand because it seems we've had similar experiences with an abusive person. When I was going through therapy the idea of forgivness came up and I hope it's okay if I share my thoughts on this. The way that I understand it is that forgiving the person that did these awful things isn't about them at all, it's about you and your healing. Forgiveness is about changing your emotions and your actions regarding the person that hurt you. Forgiveness is not about "letting it go" and the abuser facing zero concequences for their actions! It's also not about reconciliation because that's not always desirable or even possible. Perhaps you need to figure out how you can forgive this person? For me, it means not giving in to strong feelings of anger and resentment (sometimes I feel so angry at what he did to me and how unfair it was that he got off with such little punishment!), not being bitter and allowing that to seep into relationships with others (my now husband doesn't deserve for me to react to him as though he were the abuser from my past) and it means not trying to create difficulty in my abusers life (boy! would I love to message his "new family" and lay it all out). Of course this is a complicated and painful topic. It's also unique to your individual circumstances. Perhaps you need to have a bigger conversation with your eldest child about forgiveness and what it means to you and to them?

Was hoping to get a physical copy of the book but of course my local book stores and libraries aren't carrying it lol but I got the book and ready to start reading!

Goodmorning/evening you shoudn't forgive him, a person who abused you once he will do it twice and even more... my father is the exact same, but my mom always forgived him.... you do not have to forgive him, you have to heal first do it for your children. I can tell by experience it's better to not have a father if he has to be abusive and cheater.

Yesss I am excited too. Honestly I did a fair bit of research to make sure to bring good titles for yall on this one 🤣 I want to read most of these

Great advice as always!! thank you for sharing this!!

Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s beautiful and soul baring. ♥️

@LissyLu @SquirtleSquad @littlegala @Aikko @Zina @RoseyLittle @MyMy This is the topic for your final reviews on the book! So warning if you havnt finished dont come in here or it will be spoiled. Feel free to post without spoilers in this section as those in here have been warned. Use the following template to help guide ypu. You can leave certain parts blank if you don't have an answer. Also this reveiw is a requirement if ypu want the achievement badge for this book! TEMPLATE: Book Title: Rating (1-5 stars): Favorite Quote: Favorite Scene: Strongest Book Quality (Character development, plot, humor, sub characters, angst, ect): Weakest Book Quality (Se previous question): Favorite Character/Sub character: Would you recommend and why: Full Descriptive Reveiw:

My sun sign: Pisces ♓️ (8th house) pisces is empathetic, intuitive, deeply sensitive and spiritual. a sign that feels everything deeply and needs solitude to recharge. ruled by Neptune, planet of dreams, and is symbolised by two fish swimming in opposite directions, representing duality and emotional depth. accurate traits: I absorb moods and atmosphere like water im creative and intuitive I need quiet time to process emotions and refill my energy traits I differ from: im not directionless, once I commit to something that actually matters to me, im all in I don’t idealise people easily, I can see the shadow side I think this is because my Pisces sun lives in the 8th house and is balanced by earth placements (Venus in Capricorn) that gives some structure. I still feel everything, but I’ve learned to contain it. 🌙

New soul by Yael Naim makes me feel so much. The wonder and curiosity of new things, the mistakes we inevitably make exploring and a feeling of safety from being taken away from it all

I’m a Virgo sun and always curious how that lines up with my personality. I’ve used trusted-psychics to explore zodiac sign meanings more deeply, and it added insight into how my traits connect with daily stuff, like relationships and stress. It also helps me learn more about how other signs vibe, which is fun when chatting with friends who are super into astrology too.

You don't. You use the knowledge you've learned to recognize tactics and cycles. This is how you avoid future bad behavior- getting out before the behavior gets worse. Unless this man has genuinely apologized and bent backwards to right his wrongs, forgiveness is absofuckinlutely not required by you or anybody else he's victimized. I'm a strong believer in FAFO. Actions do have consequences. There are other more meaningful ways to heal, that don't require you to become a pacifist. Utilize your coping mechanisms, positive hobbies, and the people in your life that bring you joy.

We would like to welcome everyone that reads this to our home and family. We know there are other places you can go and groups you can join so we do appreciate you choosing us. It is an honor and a privilege to be allowed to share this journey with you. We understand how important the people you surround yourself with and the environment you hang out in is to your development and growth as a person. These things help to shape you and can either be a blessing or a mistake, we wish to be the former. So we are happy you are with us. You will see us refer to this place as our home, our village, and the members as our family quite often. That is because that is what this place and these people mean to us. This is not just a site we log into to kill time and escape for a few minutes. And by us I do not mean the staff, I mean each and every one of us that shares a love for our community and our extended family. This is our home and we care about it and those that are with us. So to all of you we say hello and welcome and enjoy your time with us, you are home.

This is exactly what I mean!!! And it's so cool that you've externalised them because it makes the self-work easier (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) !! Plus you get to enjoy your favourite characters at the same time

This is such an interesting topic! I've only recently started doing inner child work and reparenting, but I've always had imaginary caregivers in my fantasies. Like, TV or book characters with strong caring and nurturing vibes. I imagine them comforting me, helping me calm down when I'm stressed, and guiding me through difficult situations. It feels weirdly like I've externalised an internal caregiver by projecting it onto a character. Does that even make sense?! I'm starting to integrate these characters into my own system by learning that I've always been the one generating these fantasies, and therefore taking care of myself. My therapist calls it my 'wise self,' which I really like. Thank you for opening up this discussion!