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@MissNMTX @Zina @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker Thanks for being patient friends! Sleep has been in short supply this week but the show must go on. Soooooo... feel free to read chapters 37-41. The book is for sure picking up momentum. Please remember to be checking in at least once a week so I dont have to guess if you are still participating. Have an amazing week! Pigtail

@RoseyLittle @MissNMTX @Zina @SquirtleSquad @kimmybunny @DaddysCosmicBunny Questions and new assignments are up friends!!! Its also time for a check in again. To check in tell me wether or not you think what is happening to Devrycks prisoner is justified or not?

Hello all! Pigtail book wurm extraordinaire again! So my sub club The NNC is bustling but the main club here has been a little dead. Soooo I am hoping to bring a little life to it. I am going to do some more posting and such but I would love any suggestions yall would like to see! Also please comment here if you are jyst in support or interested in general! Let's make this the year of reading because I know we all have reading goals we want to make!!! Pigtail

I know what it feels like to not have many friends in real life. That quiet loneliness can ache in places you didn’t know existed. I have people online who care, who show up, who understand me in ways that matter, but in the physical world it feels so sparse right now, and that hurts in its own quiet way. The world itself feels overwhelming. You turn on the TV or scroll your phone and there is no shelter from it. The fear follows you from room to room, like a storm that doesn’t know how to pass. It’s exhausting, and it’s heartbreaking. I wish I had a magic wand. I wish I could smooth the sharp edges and make everything feel safe again. I can’t do that. But what I can do, what we can do, is be here. We are here to listen. We are here to sit beside you, even in the silence. You don’t have to explain yourself or be strong for us. The world may feel frightening right now, but you are not facing it alone. We will walk through this together, one breath, one moment, one small act of kindness at a time. My door is always open if you need someone to talk to

Lately, I’ve been feeling really sad. The kind of sad that drains motivation until even getting out of bed feels impossible. I tried to stay positive, to be uplifting, to push through it quietly. Then I got really sick, most likely from chemo, it hit me hard, so hard I was crawling just to get into bed. Thankfully my stomach has settled, my body no longer aches or feels like it’s vibrating, and little by little, the sadness has started to loosen its grip. I’m writing this because no one really knew how sad I was. I didn’t let anyone see it, I let the depression consume me until I didn’t even know where to begin anymore. I could barely keep a smile on my face, and I had no energy left for anything. It made me start thinking about others. How many of the people who are always cheering others on have laid in bed wondering how they were going to get up because of depression? How many of the “strong” or “happy” ones are quietly carrying more than anyone realizes? That thought broke my heart. There were moments when I wrote small pieces about my sadness, but I never went deep. I never wanted others to see my true broken pieces my true sadness, how heartbroken and emotionally exhausted I was and how I couldn’t see past my own hands. Looking back, that’s when I should have reached out. I should have let others in and allowed them to help ease the weight I was carrying. I’m not sharing this for pity, and I’m not asking for concern or attention. I feel much better now than I did then. I’m sharing this as a reminder. Please check on the ones who are always smiling. Let them know you care. Let them know you’re there to listen if they need a friend. Because sometimes the people who spend their lives making others feel happy are the ones who need it the most. Until next time, remember this: you matter, You are loved. And you are worthy of being loved. -Miss Anna-

@MissAnna Thank you for trusting us with something this tender. What you shared takes so much courage, especially after carrying it quietly for so long. I’m really sorry you went through that depth of sadness and the physical toll on top of it, no one deserves to feel that alone. Your words are such an important reminder that strength doesn’t always look like smiling or pushing through, and that even the most giving hearts can be hurting deeply. I hope you know how much your honesty matters and how many people it will help feel less unseen. I’m really glad to hear you’re feeling lighter now, even if it’s just little by little. You matter so much, and you deserve the same care and compassion you so freely give to others. Thank you for this reminder to check in, to listen, and to love more intentionally. Please continue to be strong and know that you too are special, matter and loved 💛

This has really helped me today

@RoseyLittle @MissNMTX @Zina @kimmybunny @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny Hello all sorry this is a few hours late!!! A nap may have tried to claim my soul 🤣 We are a good 35% into the book so be on the lookout soon for a pole for our midway discussion!!! I usually have a hard time getting folks together but I know we can do it if we set our minds to it. The being said feel free to read chapters 27-31!!! Happy reading 📚

Hey… I’m really glad you wrote. I know that voice that says “don’t bother people,” and I just want to say gently: you are not a burden for asking this. Nightmares—especially trauma-related ones—can be absolutely exhausting and scary, and it makes sense that you’re worn down by them. I’m really sorry you’re going through this right now, especially feeling so alone in the middle of the night. Wanting comfort and a hug is such a human thing. You deserve that care just as much as the people you’re usually there for. A few things that sometimes help after a nightmare (take or leave anything): Grounding in the present: quietly naming things you can see, hear, or touch to remind your body that you’re safe now. Gentle sensory comfort: wrapping up in a heavy hoodie or multiple blankets, holding a pillow or stuffed animal, or even placing a hand over your chest and breathing slowly. Slow breathing (nothing fancy): in through your nose for 4, out through your mouth for 6, just a few rounds. Letting the emotion pass without judging it. Crying doesn’t mean you’re going backward—it often means your body is trying to release something. If rocking helps soothe you, that’s okay. If you notice scratching starting, sometimes switching to something neutral (like holding fabric, a smooth object, or pressing your feet into the floor) can help redirect without shame. I’m really glad you have a therapist, even with the limits right now, and I’m sorry that support feels uncertain. You’ve been carrying a lot for a long time, and it makes sense that you’re tired. Also—this wasn’t TMI. This was honest. Thank you for trusting us with a piece of your mind. You don’t have to apologize for existing, for hurting, or for asking for help. Feel free to reach out anytime. I’m sending you a big, steady, non-awkward hug through the screen. You’re not alone in this moment, even if it feels that way. 💛

Don’t be sorry when you’re looking for guidance. That means you’re smarter than many that would never try to fix themselves. This community is for ppl to either learn or to mentor, as they fit in. Use it. Nightmares are common and unfortunately brutal. I had a lg that stayed here a while and during that time she had some nightmares too. Talking helped but since you have nobody to talk to, that makes it difficult, unless you have access to someone via PM, DM or something. But there is good news! There are some things that work! Even though the nightmare feels real, you are safe now. Even though you feel alone, with communities like this, we are here wjth you. Just reach out! Whatever you do, do not think your feelings do not make sense, as they do. Reach out to me or someone to talk through them. Don’t be shy about talking. You don’t need to reveal your personal traumas. To help you feel better, and without thinking or talking about your trauma, try playing the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding game. It will help your mind switch from the nightmare, back to the present. To play this, try to name: 5 things You can see 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste It’s a simple game that is playful but still powerful. Another thing I’ve seen used successful is to take deep breaths and then exhale slowly and pretend you’re blowing out a candle. Do it several times and in the end, take in a deep breath and slowly let the air out like you are slowly blowing up a balloon, and then let the balloon float away. Finally, since you don’t have a heavy blanket, find a stuffed animal or soft blanket or even a small item of your choice and let these act as a protector in your mind. Hold the item close, whisper to it, love it, then it will love you back and protect you. They also love it when you sing to it. I know these may seem like easy things you can do, but they work. I wish I could give you a hug.

@MissNMTX @Zina @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker Please comment here friends to let me know you are still going forward with us!!! I know some of us have been a little busy but the once a week check in helps me keep it all organized.

Healing is not a straight line, it doesn’t come with a deadline or a finish flag. It takes time, it takes facing nightmares that don’t always make sense. It takes therapy, and often more therapy than you ever thought you’d need. And that doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means the wound was deep. One thing that helped me was journaling. When thoughts loop endlessly in my mind, writing them down gives them somewhere to go. It’s called docking. Taking the pain out of your head and placing it on paper so it doesn’t keep racing, so it doesn’t keep owning every quiet moment. You won’t forget what happened. That isn’t failure. Healing isn’t about erasing the past, it’s about time. Time to breathe without bracing. Time to look in the mirror and slowly stop seeing only the broken child who spent years just trying to survive. The way I coped was therapy. I know how hard it is to take that step. I know how vulnerable it feels. But it helped me understand something vital, what happened to me was not my fault. And what happened to you is not you fault either. Surviving does not define us as damaged. It defines us as resilient. Please remember this: You are not alone. You are not broken beyond repair. And you are worthy of being loved My door is always open if you need a friend

@Snowyy I’m really sorry you’re carrying this. What you’re describing makes so much sense, especially after going through something that hurt you deeply. Nothing about the way you’re reacting means you’re broken or “odd”, it means your mind and body learned how to survive when things weren’t safe. That on-edge feeling and those coping habits are signs of strength, even if they feel exhausting now. Healing doesn’t mean pretending it never happened, and it doesn’t require you to relive or explain it in detail if you’re not ready. It’s okay to move forward slowly. The pain coming back doesn’t mean you’ve failed or gone backwards, it just means your system is still trying to protect you. There are ways to cope without talking much about the past. Some people find grounding things helpful when memories hit, focusing on your breathing, noticing what you can see or feel around you, or doing something physical like walking or stretching to remind your body that you’re safe now. Writing things out privately, creating routines that help you feel steady, or having one small thing that brings comfort can also help take the edge off. None of this fixes everything overnight, and that’s okay. Please be gentle with yourself. What happened was not your fault, and feeling disgust or pain about it doesn’t define who you are. You’re already doing something brave by wanting to heal. You don’t have to do this perfectly, and you don’t have to do it alone, support can look many different ways, at your pace, on your terms. I’m really glad you reached out. You deserve peace, and even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, it is possible to move forward while still honoring what you’ve been through.

@LittleAmbi Thank you for sharing this. I’m really glad you wrote, even if you’re not sure why you did. Feeling that lonely can be incredibly heavy, and it makes a lot of sense that being home so much has stirred things back up again. I want you to know your feelings are valid, and for sure you’re not weak or failing for feeling this way. It actually says a lot about you that you’re still trying: working out, doing chores, looking for ways to care for yourself even when it’s hard. That takes real strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it’s helping right now. Loneliness is a tough one, it’s not something you can “productivity” your way out of, and that’s not your fault. (And for what it’s worth, you spelled loneliness just fine. I’m really sorry you’re carrying so much, especially with everything going on in the world. When dark thoughts start to feel overwhelming, reaching out like this is a meaningful step. You’re not invisible here, and you’re not alone in this moment, even if it feels that way inside. I’m here to listen, truly. If you want to talk more about what’s been weighing on you, you don’t have to hold it all by yourself. 💛Feel free to follow and reach out to me anytime, even if you want to just say hello!

I'm right here with you if you need someone to talk to. I know how much you loved your kitty cat and I can't imagine the pain you're going through. It's heartbreaking and it absolutely just sucks. They aren't just an animal they become your kids they become your family they become your best friend. They love you unconditionally and when you lose them you feel like you lose a part of yourself. I might not be right beside you but I'm sending you the biggest most warmest hug. I'm right here if you need me

@MissNMTX @Zina @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @kimmybunny @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker Alright friends. For those of you that enjoy these here are questions for chapters 32-36 The mystery is really killing me at this point and stopping at the chapter marks is definitely hard. Per usual make sure to spoil your answers and post in the linked topic below. Post here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/64956-nocticadia-question-answers-spoilers/?do=getLastComment

@MissNMTX @Zina @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @kimmybunny @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker So sorry friends last night was a giant mess lol. But I know we all have days like that. I havnt heard from a few of you. If you are struggling please resch out and communitlcate as I 100% understand. Without further ado feel free to read chapters 37-41

Thank you for being so kind to me and thank you for your kind offer

Thank you for your kindness

When chemo had you broken, sick and dizzy. When darker times and depression took hold. When you were brought down to your very lowest... one of your first thoughts was still for other people and if they might need help... 😭like it or not, you are a truly special person. ❤️ ... and yes you are right. Those who have felt or still feel deep pain, are often the quickest to offer support, because they are the ones who know how much a kind word or gesture can mean in a moment of darkness. If you ever want to vent to a random 3rd party about how much of a struggle life can be, and how much energy it seems to want to take from you, I am here for you and I think so are a great many people on this forum.

You are a very strong person. I have known other people who have had chemo. It's never easy. Thank you for being a person who cheers others on and thank you for the reminder to reach out to others who may secretly be having a bad time. You never know when someone needs a little extra light in their life.

Here’s a fun little activity for grounding and self care! Creating your own little grounding kit. We always have fun running this in trauma group programming. The ‘why’ behind this activity is because when we are activated or triggered, it is hard for us to think and remember what things help us. So keeping a kit stocked by you in your room or a safe place means you just have to remember to open your box. And partners or loved ones can be told about it too. Plus it’s just fun and we can use glitter and sparkles! 💕 You can get creative and decorate a box, crate or chest of any kind. You could use a shoe box, or craft stores/dollar stores have all kinds of ones to choose from. You can decorate the outside and inside, with decoupage, paint, stickers, gems! Anything that speaks to you. Not feeling creative? That’s okay, there’s lots of pretty boxes out there to choose from that you can just pick up and fill. Then you put in things that are soothing to you like: - your favourite grounding tools (maybe a journal, a list of people you can reach out to, breathing visualization steps, grounding technique cards), - things for your senses (could be your favourite scent candle or essential oils, play doh or slime to squeeze or other sensory toys, a suckable candy or chocolate to put on your tongue, BUBBLES TO BLOW!) - comfort objects (could be grounding photos of loved ones or special memories/places, nostalgic items like shells from a trip, a soft stuffie, a letter you write yourself or someone else has written you) - things that focus your mind (could be a colouring or puzzle book, fidget toys, crochet or knitting, a favourite book to read) These are all just ideas, whatever works for you! This thread can be a space people can post their own kits if they already have them, or want to try making one!

@RoseyLittle @MissNMTX @Zina @SquirtleSquad @kimmybunny @DaddysCosmicBunny Alright friends here are questions for chapters 26-31!!! Chapter 31 was sooooo amazing. I hope yall are enjoying this story as much as I am. Like usual remember to use spoilers and post in the area linked below. Post here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/64956-nocticadia-question-answers-spoilers/?do=getLastComment

I’ve had people disappear on me too, and sometimes I wish I’d had a bit more context before getting invested. A Social Media Background Check can help spot mismatched vibes early on, like seeing someone’s interests or patterns before things get weird. It won’t stop ghosting, but it can save you from walking straight into another dead end. Sometimes a little upfront clarity makes the whole thing sting less.

Question 30: Question 31: Question 32: Question 33: Question 34:

Reader, I'm just curious, how do we feel about book series? I'm great with interconnected stand alone, duets, and even a trilogy as long as each book matters. But somewhere deep down inside of me I get agitated having to read book after book for just one story! Sometimes, all these series just annoy me. Especially, when I've read several that could be much shorter.

@RoseyLittle I'm the worst book club member! It's so hard for me to slow the pace of my reading. Sometimes I just want to keep reading at least to a different stopping point. I'm been a good girl though and not done that. The upside is I read through loads of other books and set my reading goal for 2026 in the meantime.

Ok love this question because we are all soooo different. I am almost exscluviely a series reader, the one I am on now is 6 books and like 3000 pages. Personally if the story is done well (I read alot of fantasy with world building and such) I will enjoy keeping on reading. I like a largely over arching plot and to me a book or even three isnt always enough. That being said I have read books where I just wanted it over and the occasionall stand alone or duet is a nice pallet cleanser

Question 22: Question 23: Question 24: Question 25: Question 26: Question 27: Question 28: Question 29:

@RoseyLittle @MissNMTX @kimmybunny @Zina @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny Hello friends!!! As prommis3d here is your questions from chapters 22-26! The book is getting very very good and even I am having a hard time stopping from reading ahead 🤣. As usual make sure to post in the correct topic posted below! Post here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/64956-nocticadia-question-answers-spoilers/?do=getLastComment

So lately I keep having the same nightmare over and over and I wake up and I feel disoriented like I can't escape the nightmare as if I'm still walking in it Sometimes it's hard to ground yourself especially when you're still in the nightmare you can't see five things you can't hear four things you can't smell three things and you definitely can't touch two things you just feel so lost and helpless. So for me I talk to myself and I start singing, I start singing all kinds of different songs and just whispering that I'm okay. And by doing that it doesn't make the nightmare any less real, it doesn't make the storm suddenly pass away or erase the panic attacks blooming in my chest. It just gives me a calm moment of clarity to know that I am okay and that I can go back to sleep. And yes sometimes I can't go back to sleep so I sit there staring out the window, it's also thankful for this form because when I can't sleep there's always someone there that will respond and say hey it's okay. Sending you lots and lots of hugs

Looking for a reading buddy! It is a new year and I want to hit even more of my reading goals this year!!! I have had some exspress interest but never have gotten DMs on it so I am really hoping to find a long term buddy for reading and hoping it turns into genuine friendship because I dont have many close friends. I am really hoping to also maybe buddy read. My Genres: So my main type of book is Romantasy (fantasy romance) but I do some other types of romance too especially dark kinds like monster or villian or stalker. Pretty much anything fantasy or romance I will be into reading. Reading Speed: Just depends on alot of things but I read like 20 large books last year and it was a slow one for me. If I have a set goal with a person for pacing I always make it a priority to hit it. I also have a Goodreads abd many suggestions I can give. Looking For: A kind thoughtful person just to talk books. I would probably use here for our discussions but cpuld also use Discord for our discussions and whatnot which also makes read together possible. Not looking for one word conversations or folks who are judgy. This is just for fun to do together. This could be a anyone: male, female, younger (18 and up of course), older, honestly jyst want someone to be friends with who is also respectful of the fact I have a Daddy. If this appeals please comment or friend/message (I usually let the person DM first to maje sure they are still interested)! Pigtail

Yayy ready to carry on reading I loved spending time with family and friends without work getting in the way 🥰

We would like to welcome everyone that reads this to our home and family. We know there are other places you can go and groups you can join so we do appreciate you choosing us. It is an honor and a privilege to be allowed to share this journey with you. We understand how important the people you surround yourself with and the environment you hang out in is to your development and growth as a person. These things help to shape you and can either be a blessing or a mistake, we wish to be the former. So we are happy you are with us. You will see us refer to this place as our home, our village, and the members as our family quite often. That is because that is what this place and these people mean to us. This is not just a site we log into to kill time and escape for a few minutes. And by us I do not mean the staff, I mean each and every one of us that shares a love for our community and our extended family. This is our home and we care about it and those that are with us. So to all of you we say hello and welcome and enjoy your time with us, you are home.

WOW! This is such a beautiful, thoughtful activity, thank you for sharing it so warmly. I love how you highlight the why behind it, because it’s so true: when we’re activated or overwhelmed, even the simplest grounding tools can slip right out of our minds. Having a kit ready, created by our calmer selves, is such a compassionate gift to our future selves. And the way you describe it makes the whole process feel joyful and empowering, glitter, sparkles, soothing textures, comforting memories, all woven together into something that’s both practical and deeply personal. 💕 Your ideas are wonderfully accessible too. Whether someone wants to go all-out decorating a treasure box or just pick up something simple and fill it with care, there’s no wrong way to do it. I especially love the mix of sensory items, comfort objects, and mind-focusing tool, it’s such a gentle reminder that grounding can come from so many places. Thank you for sharing this in a way that feels safe, creative, and motivating. It’s the kind of post that makes people feel seen, supported, and inspired to try something nurturing for themselves. Keep up the good work!🌿✨ This is such a beautiful, thoughtful activity, thank you for sharing it so warmly. I love how you highlight the why behind it, because it’s so true: when we’re activated or overwhelmed, even the simplest grounding tools can slip right out of our minds. Having a kit ready, created by our calmer selves, is such a compassionate gift to our future selves. And the way you describe it makes the whole process feel joyful and empowering - glitter, sparkles, soothing textures, comforting memories, all woven together into something that’s both practical and deeply personal. 💕 Your ideas are wonderfully accessible too. Whether someone wants to go all-out decorating a treasure box or just pick up something simple and fill it with care, there’s no wrong way to do it. I especially love the mix of sensory items, comfort objects, and mind-focusing tool, it’s such a gentle reminder that grounding can come from so many places. Thank you for sharing this in a way that feels safe, creative, and motivating. It’s the kind of post that makes people feel seen, supported, and inspired to try something nurturing for themselves. Keep up the good work!🌿✨

Another good point NR.Cheerio for now.I’m shattered.

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I am so sorry for your loss of both your father and your soul cat, and the deep grief you are having to hold as they mirror each other in ways. Reading your words, what was so beautifully clear was how deeply you love, how deeply you give of yourself and how cared for those in your world are. The kind of losses you are navigating are profound and world shaking, and of course you are heartbroken. In many ways animals provide a bond like no other, an unconditional love, an innocence and even a dependence on us that is just so powerful. As you wrote he was your companion, your love, your reason, your everything. ♥️ And you had to make the hardest choice anyone will ever make with someone they love. You had to choose to say goodbye to him knowing that it would split you wide open, crack you and leave you forever changed. There is nothing right or just about the fact that you had to make that choice. You are allowed to rail at the universe with fury as you grieve. Unfortunately death often invokes existential dread in the other. It is a reminder all things die. Including us. There are many who are uncomfortable with this and that transference means they will say things to you, that is actually to make them feel better. I don’t say this as a criticism of that, so few of us are taught how to sit in deep pain and grief and not try to “fix” it for the other. And so many of us do it out of a place of caring intent. And even more just don’t have words. And really, there are no words for loss as deep as this. But you absolutely are allowed as the person who is grieving to tell people exactly what is okay and not okay to say to you. What is helpful and what isn’t. You’re also allowed to be angry and messy and hurting. So I hope you keep bringing it here. And being gentle with yourself in it. Because you have people here who wouldn’t dream of trying to make it better, and who will just sit in the horrible with you, right beside you, and just be as you feel. ♥️

When I regress, i basically have two ages that I go into. But the majority of the time I'm in my 5 year old headspace. I have toys however for both age levels. 5 & 11. 1. Here are a few of my toys: * Calico Critters ( Sylvania Family) * Hello Kitty (Basically, i just collect these, although i have coloring books and cups with her on/in them) * My Life As ...Dolls (18" dolls) * Barbies * Little People * craft items * Baby Dolls I collect a few things also, cause i like the aesthetic of them. 2. The kind of stuff i would like to add?~ * More Calico Critters and their play sets, * A few more of the MLA Dolls but more so of their clothes and domme furniture * I collect Momoji dolls so would like to collect more of those * 3. Decorations: I'm in the process of redoing my room, there are a few things i need but there are a few things i want to eventually purchase. Such as: * cute rugs * some fairy lights * new curtains * a few new blankies And a few nic knacks I want to also get back into sewing, so I would like to make a few of my clothes for my dolls. I also want to learn to quilt so I can make my own. I hope this isn't to long. Also, these things that i have were collected over time. We didn't just go start buying a lot of things at once. If you're still new and still discovering your little side, buy something in small quantities and see if you like to actually play with it, feel comfortable with it, etc... That way, you're not out of a lot of money. One last thing, my little's like to be read to. If you are alone at the moment, maybe get a few audio children's stories and enjoy being read to that way for now. Coloring and reading are some of my 11 year old self's favorite Pass time. Sorry this is so Looong. I don't get to talk about this stuff that often! 😊

Thank you friend for the compliment. These were for sure some deeper questions with the social aspect. So 32 and 34:

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I am a 46 year little/ middle from Indiana. I've never been in a dynamic because I didn't really know what was going on with me until a few years ago and I am happily married to a man who loves and understands big me. He doesn't really get little me but, he tries. I just want to find some friends who get little me.

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Hi 👋 I made this bracelet I think its really cute and wanted to show someone its got a bunny bead, a tiara bead, a happy cloud bead, a flower bead, a m bead and a letter p bead which stands for princess! I made it with pink/white/red beads and I tried to make it little themed

Thank you for trusting us enough to share all of this. Truly. The amount of courage it takes to open up while you’re in the struggle, while everything feels heavy and dark, is enormous, even if it doesn’t feel that way to you right now. What you wrote is honest, brave, and incredibly human. I want you to know that you’re not alone in this pattern. So many people, far more than you’d ever guess, feel exactly what you’re describing: needing support the most right when it feels hardest to reach for it… worrying about being “too much”… fearing that showing the darker moments will push people away. That doesn’t make you broken; it makes you human and sensitive. And those qualities, even when they feel like burdens, are actually signs of how deeply you care. It also makes complete sense that past experiences have taught you to hide your pain. When you’ve been celebrated only for being the “happy, bubbly” version of yourself, it trains you to think that your darker moments are unwelcome. But the people who truly care about you, the ones who deserve a place in your support system, want all of you, not just the polished parts. You don’t have to present a guidebook or have the perfect words. Reaching out can be as simple as: “Hey, I’m having a rough day. Can you check in with me?” or “I don’t need solutions, I just don’t want to feel alone right now.” It’s okay if your voice shakes when you ask. It’s okay if you cry. It’s okay if you don’t know exactly what you need. Support doesn’t require perfection, it just requires connection. And you are not “too much.” You are someone who is trying their best while carrying something heavy. People who care about you don’t want the edited version of your life; they want the real one, even when it’s shadowed. Learning to stop pushing people away is a process, not a switch you flip. You can start very small: Send a single message to someone you trust. Practice saying one honest sentence about how you feel. Let yourself receive something without apologizing for it. Little steps count. They build the muscle. You deserve support. You deserve softness. You deserve people who stay, even in the dark. And the fact that you’re here, reaching out, tells me you’re already moving toward that. One day, you’ll look back at this version of you with so much compassion and pride for how hard you fought to show up for yourself. You’re not doing this alone, even right now. You’re doing better than you think. Keep going. 💛

Name: Ricky Age: 29 Favorite book as an adult: This is hard to say over all because I have read a hole lot of great books. Favorite book as a child: I use to dislike books as a kid. Never really got in to books in tell I was older and now I wish I started reading them when I was a kid. Could really help out with my Learning Disabilty growing up. Favorite genre: Romance Favorite troupe: Enemies to Lovers/ little getting their own CGs after having a trouble past growing up. You see how much pain they was in but finally getting the one thing they always wanted at the end. Least Favorite types of main characters: When they act all creepy like and play it off as a good thing. Not over protective but the part where just reading the book, you feel the main character being all creepy and you wish they author change the main person to someone else. One book that deserved a sequel: There lots of books that I wish there was more to it. So this be hard to say just one. Do you read physical books or digital: I had physical but I perfer kindle seen I can read books back to back. How much do you read a week: I am not sure becuase each week it is different.

Thank you for this! It is a great idea! I have been struggling with my trauma stuff for the past 6 - 8 weeks a lot, so I kinda backed off posting. I have hit outpatient therapy hard! Even adjusted my meds to help me sleep again, coz that was not happening at all! Work has been soooooo overwhelming and I just felt lost in myself! I go in patches where life is manageable, then it's not. I think this in normal, but maybe it isn't. I don't really believe in normal anymore. I believe in best for me. I do what I need to feel supported, loved and encouraged to be healthy and safe. As long as that is where I am mentally, emotionally, and physically, then I am good. I know way too much information about trauma and what to do to help children and families recover. I go to scary trainings where they talk about kids being hurt, adults being hurt and how to report. I even have to report people sometimes. I watch staff become overwhelmed at the homelessness of children in our classroom and the apathy of other staff who have seen it for too many years. I fear becoming numb but then become overwhelmed when my voice falls on deaf ears and am reminded of my childhood and how few people were there for me. If only ... statements run through my head at record breaking speeds and I simply wanna cry at the injustice of it all. Then I pause and realize, I am that statistic and I should be failing, but I'm not. I am that child I am advocating for in the classroom. I am advocating for myself and what I see a need for in my community. I am thankful for the trauma I endured and the pain that I remember daily because it makes me a better person, a better teacher and better at being aware of those around me. I believe I survived my childhood, and early adulthood so that I can advocate for others. My pain was intended to harm me, but I refuse to allow it to hurt me anymore! I will advocate for those who are hurting around me! I know the resources available in my community. I know how to access help and be a beacon of light for them. I want nothing more than to save the world, but instead I can help one child, one family at a time. I know what it means to have nothing, to be nothing and to be used by those who are meant to protect me. Now it is my turn to reach out my hand and help those who don't know better, to be better. I was the child who struggled, now I have the opportunity to help children who struggle. I was the parent with children who struggled, now I have the opportunity to help these parents. I am a teacher who gets the privilege of learning how to support families, educators, and communities in grad school so I can further advocate for our program and bring about real change. Seeing how my trauma can benefit others means the world to me. It makes me feel empowered and free from the chains of my past. One other resource I would share is the NAMI website. Lots of great information about mental illness and local groups that support people in their communities. There are some places where they have regular support meetings for people who struggle and for their families. https://www.nami.org/