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Happy 10th Anniversary to all of us ! Its hard to believe its been 10 years. I wish I had been here from the beginning but am so happy I found my home and my family here when I did. A huge heartfelt thank you to those that envisioned and started this forum because if it weren't for you none of us would be here now. To all the staff, former and present, that helped make this a safe place over the years, thank you. Y'all rock ! To the members that offer help, guidance, wisdom, and suggestions on how to make our home an even better place, y'all are awesome and each of you deserve a round of applause and a cookie or three. To the club owners, thank you. You go above and beyond by giving your time and energy to create warm, inviting, and interesting clubs to make sure everyone has a place to feel accepted and share what they enjoy. Instead of the usual share-a-thon where people donate money for a cause. I thought we could donate thoughts and stories. You can drop a meme or gif that shares how you feel about the forum or just say happy anniversary. Or tell the story of how you found us and yourself. Whatever you want to share about your journey is ok. Thank you to each of you for the part you play in keeping our community safe and growing in spirit.

Communication is important for all relationships to succeed. What are boundaries? Boundaries are the lines and limits you create between yourself and other people. They allow you to define what is acceptable and healthy for you in your relationships. The boundaries you communicate and maintain can protect you both physically and psychologically. They can also safeguard your time and material possessions. Why are boundaries important? If you don’t set reasonable boundaries, some people will walk all over you. They’ll make demands on your time, energy, and other resources, leaving you depleted and overwhelmed. Some people will disregard and dismiss you emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually—often without even realizing they’re doing it. After all, they may have no idea their actions are distressing you if you’ve never told them! Boundary types & Examples Time boundaries: are limits we set around how we spend our time. This is a big one, and something that's especially difficult for many of us. “This is my time for therapy, so please don't message me or schedule anything.” “It's OK if you visit, but you'll need to leave before dinner so I can have time with my family.” Physical boundaries: refer to personal space and physical touch. Healthy physical boundaries include an awareness of what's appropriate, and what's not, in various settings and types of relationships (hug, shake hands, or kiss?). Intellectual boundaries: are your thoughts, ideas, and opinions. These boundaries have two aspects. One is being free to express a point of view about anything and being respected. The other is to know which topics are appropriate or not in a specific situation and/or with certain people. Financial boundaries: are limitations around your income, bank account, credit cards, and other areas surrounding money. Setting Boundaries: Step 1. Be as clear and as straightforward as possible. Do not raise your voice. Step 2. State your need or request directly in terms of what you’d like, rather than what you don’t want or like. Step 3. Accept any discomfort that arises as a result, whether it’s guilt, shame, or remorse. The third step is common for people with poor boundaries, codependency issues, or are people pleasers. Why are boundaries in relationships important? Healthy relationship boundaries are essential because they promote balance, respect, and physical and emotional well-being. When we set and maintain boundaries in a relationship, the other person has a clear understanding of how they should interact with us. This helps us feel safe, respected, and cared for—because of this, we show up better for that relationship. What to do if boundaries are broken? • Stay calm: Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation. • Avoid blaming: Focus on how the behavior impacted you, not on attacking the person's character. • Be assertive: Clearly state your needs without being aggressive or passive. • Self-reflect: Examine if your boundaries were clearly communicated and if you need to adjust them based on the situation. Original op, for the sake of ongoing discussion: Sources for updated version:

Hello and I hope everyone is having a good day so far. I have recently noticed a trend in the dynamic that has increased. It has always been there over the past twenty years or so that I have been a Daddy/Dom. However it seems to have increased dramatically and I would just like to bring this up as I feel it can help all of those that may have an opportunity for a relationship. I ask all littles to please understand that any potential Daddy you may be talking with often has responsibilities and work that may delay a response and to give the opportunity for us to respond to a message prior to think you are being ghosted. I bring this up because I began speaking to a little recently and we had been talking for several hours. I was called into work for the fires in my area and worked a twelve hour shift getting home around 2am. Unable to message as I needed to do my job, however the little who I was speaking to assumed I ghosted her and that is very far from the truth. I enjoyed the time talking despite it was only a day or so. Not venting not mad, a bit frustrated is all. just please understand while there would be nothing better then to be a Daddy to a little again, we Daddys also need to be understood. Just felt this needed to be said and understood. Hope everyone has a wonderful day today!

I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for. I'm just gonna go through the things that concern me and make me want to suggest ending this relationship immediately. "I barely know this woman" "I need to dominate her and that means that she has to feel like she doesn't want to do it and she's being forced. " "She keeps responding, saying that she doesn't like this and this isn't what she wanted and everything and I keep telling her that it's not her choice because she has sworn to me as her daddy and master." "at this point I feel like I am owed" "I'm so inexperienced in all of this and I barely know her" "when we see each other next she is going to be disciplined for all of her infractions, so I feel like that's a huge part of it too that she's not going to go into that willingly." "Manipulation is inherently part of this dynamic and it's harder to understand what is real and what isn't." To highlight every concerning thing I read would require a full reposting. These things don't just look bad out of context. They look just as bad in context. Again, I would strongly advise leaving this relationship immediately and take a some time to do some reflection. This can be an extremely difficult relationship dynamic to navigate. It can get anyone confused real quick. No one can really say definitively what a relationship should look like, but the warning signs for a toxic/abusive one are pretty universal. "I am not one that wants to be abusive, but" There should not be a "but" after that statement. It sounds like there is a serious failure in communication for the two of you and it would be too easy for you to fail in recognizing a legitimate withdrawal of consent. "She has no safe word". You have no experience. It's all bad. This is bad. I don't want to come off as being harsh or judgmental and we can talk more privately if you would like. I'm not trying to put you on the defensive. I'm just really concerned. I'm here if you need help, but my advice stands. Let her go without making this harder for the both of you. After all,you "barely know this woman.".

I have come across some people here who in their personal ads say they are looking for a very affectionate and clingy little/daddy but the reality is that more than half of those people do not know how to deal with real clinginess and often end up asking for space, complaining, distancing themselves or ghosting... If I'm talking to you of course I'll pour my heart and all attention to the conversation and would expect the exact same in return, clinginess is not only about talking regularly (chit-chat) but also about being able to open your heart and mind to share them with the other person constantly, reassurance also plays a very important role! Please, kindly, if you're not sure you have the time or that you can actually handle a clingy partner/friend don't advertise you're looking for that and let's not hurt other people's hearts or feelings trying to make them change to what they're not ☺️💕

We all know each individual is their own person and you can't shoehorn everyone into a small box/label. But it was brought up that having a list of different types of DD/MD/Cg might be useful. Though the term Daddy is used below Mommy or Caregiver/Babysitter is freely interchangeable. I just did not want to edit their contributions since we can insert the correct term as we read. Thanks to @คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ and @Dangerously_Well for their work on this. Soft Daddy - Bends to the whimsy of their partner's demands. Situationally submissive. (Hard) Daddy Dom - Takes the lead in the relationship. Understands BDSM, follows SSC, and provides aftercare. Kink Daddy - Interested in kinks. Platonic Daddy - A non-kinker who's emotionally invested in his relationship. Might be asexual. (Toxic) Daddy Dom - A manchild whose got a fragile ego. Easily confused with (Hard) Daddy Doms by newbies/young men of BDSM. Sugar Daddy - Offers money/gifts in exchange for attention. Based on Personality/Dynamic: The Classic Daddy: A traditional, authoritative figure. Emphasizes rules, structure, and discipline, but also provides a strong sense of security and love. Often has a paternalistic or protector role. The Playful Daddy: Focuses on fun, games, and silliness. Encourages their little to embrace their childlike wonder and enjoys engaging in playful activities together. May be less strict with rules but still provides guidance. The Nurturing Daddy: Prioritizes emotional care and support. Focuses on creating a safe and comforting environment for their little. May be particularly attuned to their little's emotional needs and provides lots of cuddles and reassurance. The Gentle Daddy: A kind and patient caregiver. Emphasizes positive reinforcement and gentle guidance. Prefers a softer approach to discipline and focuses on building a strong emotional connection. The Strict Daddy: Emphasizes rules, structure, and discipline. Believes in clear boundaries and consequences. Provides a sense of security through firm guidance and may enjoy a more dominant role. The Dom Daddy: A dominant figure who enjoys taking control in the relationship. May enjoy BDSM elements and focuses on power dynamics. May be strict or gentle depending on their personal style. (Note: Dominance is not inherently abusive, but it's crucial that it's consensual and safe.) Based on Focus: The Caregiver: Focuses on providing care and support for their little. May be less focused on sexual aspects of the dynamic and more on nurturing and emotional well-being. The Daddy Dom: Combines the paternalistic role with a dominant sexual presence. Enjoys taking control in both a caregiving and sexual context. The Friend/Companion Daddy: Prioritizes building a strong friendship alongside the D/lg dynamic. Focuses on shared interests and open communication. May be less strict with rules and more focused on mutual enjoyment. Important Considerations: Age Play vs. Age Regression: Some Daddies focus specifically on age play (roleplaying as a parent), while others cater to littles who experience age regression (mentally reverting to a younger age). Personal Preferences: Every Daddy/Caregiver has their unique preferences and style. Communication is key to finding a good match. Consent and Safety: All D/lg relationships should be built on consent, respect, and open communication. Safety is paramount.

Firstly I want to recognise how hard and scary it can be to take steps to learn and educate yourself and grow as part of that. So well done for that. Now if you’ve been looking into kink/BDSM and DDLG you might have come across the acronyms RACK (Risk aware consensual kink) or SSC (safe sane consensual). One of the key things as part of both of these and any form of kink/BDSM is it being consensual. I’m sure you’re already aware of this but as part of that consent can be withdrawn at anytime. Consequently, safe words even simple ones as ‘no’ or ‘stop’ should be used as this makes it clear for all parties that consent is being withdrawn. Now like you said some people like CNC (consensual non-consent) or forced role play hence why using non-related words are often used as a safe word instead. This can be the traffic light system (I think this is a really great system for safe words but that’s just my perspective), it can also be a completely random word like avocado, I’m sure you get the picture. My point is safe words should be a non-negotiable in all dynamics. Particularly 24/7 or/and TPE dynamics. Dynamics should also be discussed and agreed to prior to starting a dynamic and for a dynamic to be health, it requires open, ongoing discussions and agreements. Bratting, like any behaviour in a dynamic, should be discussed and agreed upon beforehand. Some brats seek punishment; others don’t. If expectations around behaviour and discipline weren’t clearly defined from the start, it can create confusion and harm. Going back to CNC and forced role-play, these dynamics require even more communication and trust, with agreed-upon safe words to protect both partners. If she’s saying she wants out, pushing harder isn’t the solution; as previously mentioned consent can be withdrawn at anytime. The risk of confusion like you’ve pointed at here is why, like I’ve previously mentioned safe words are there to protect both parties and make sure everyone is on the same page. Furthermore, manipulation should never be an assumed part of a dynamic. Dynamics involving elements like CNC or resistance play can use manipulation. However, these dynamics should be agreed to and built on a foundation of trust, communication and clear consent. If someone expressed discomfort or withdraws consent that must be respected. If I were you I’d assume her cancelling plans and expressing uncertainty is her setting boundaries and trying to protect herself. Especially considering she has responsibilities outside the dynamic, I would take those things to mean she’s withdrawn consent and I’d consider trying to have a new open conversation outside of any dynamic. DDLG and TPE but also any dynamic requires high levels of trust and communication, which take time and careful negotiation - especially when you’re still new to this. If someone indicates they want out or aren’t comfortable, the healthiest and most ethical response is to pause and listen. Pushing harder when someone is expressing discomfort moves into dangerous territory and violates the core principles of SSC and/or RACK. it’s also important to remember that Dominance isn’t about pushing someone until they break - it’s about creating a space for both partners to feel safe, respected, seen, heard and valued. Finally, just like in any relationship no one is owed anything in a relationship. If your needs aren’t being met, discussing this with your partner or partners or choosing to step away, are often the best options. I just want to reiterate it sounds like a complicated situation. Particularly if this is new for you and you reaching out to ask for advice and help is very impressive. I applaud you for that.

On the bright side if they don’t respect your boundaries you know not to waist your time

Oh, sweetheart, gentle hugs. It sounds like you're going through a really tough time, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling distressed and confused. It takes a lot of courage to share these feelings, and we're here to listen with compassion. It's clear you care deeply for your daddy dom, and you've put a lot of effort into finding solutions. The fact that you've tried different approaches shows your commitment to making the relationship work. However, your feelings of distress are valid, and they shouldn't be dismissed. It's especially concerning that the "plug" example causes you distress. Your body and your comfort are paramount. If something feels sexual when you're not in the mood, it's absolutely okay to say no. Consent is crucial, and it's essential that your daddy dom respects your boundaries. The guidelines he set during your discussions, particularly the "no walking away" rule, seem rigid and insensitive to your family obligations. It's not about avoiding the conversation; it's about balancing your responsibilities and needs. His statement that he "thinks you can't do this" is also hurtful and undermines your confidence. It's okay to question whether DDlg is the right fit for you. Your well-being is the priority. If a dynamic consistently causes you distress, it's important to listen to those feelings. Here are some things to consider: Prioritize your comfort: Your feelings are valid, and you have the right to say no to anything that makes you uncomfortable. Re-evaluate the dynamic: Consider whether the power imbalance and expectations in your relationship are truly aligned with your needs and desires. Open communication: If you choose to continue the relationship, have a very open and honest conversation about your boundaries and needs. Emphasize that your comfort and consent are non-negotiable. Seek outside support: Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to process your emotions and develop coping strategies. They can also help you navigate difficult conversations with your partner. Self-care: Take time for yourself and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. You deserve to feel safe and supported. Reflect: it is okay to take some time to reflect on what you truly want and need in a relationship. It's understandable that you don't want to break up, but sometimes, prioritizing your well-being means making difficult decisions. You deserve a relationship where you feel safe, respected, and loved. Remember, you're not alone. We're here to support you through this. Please be kind to yourself and prioritize your well-being. gentle comforting hugs

To your most excellent point, I have been thinking about how to make this list more inclusive for various caregiver roles within the D/lg community! Here's how we can adapt it for Mommies and Caregivers/Babysitters: For Mommies: Mostly, a simple swap: In most cases, you can simply replace "Daddy" with "Mommy" in the descriptions. The core dynamics and personality types often apply similarly. Highlight nurturing aspects: While all caregivers can be nurturing, you might want to emphasize this even more for Mommies, as that's often a strong association with the role. Consider additional archetypes: Think about Mommy-specific archetypes, like the "Playful Mommy" who loves silly games and dress-up, or the "Wise Mommy" who offers guidance and advice. For Caregivers/Babysitters: Focus on non-romantic care: Emphasize the caregiving aspects without the romantic or explicitly parental elements. Highlight flexibility: Caregivers/babysitters might be more flexible in terms of age play, activities, and the level of structure they provide. Consider specific needs: Some littles might prefer a caregiver who focuses on specific needs, like helping with schoolwork, managing emotions, or providing a safe space for regression. Here's how the adapted list might look (combining all roles): Based on Personality/Dynamic: The Classic: A traditional, authoritative figure (Mommy/Daddy). Emphasizes rules, structure, and discipline, but also provides a strong sense of security and love. The Playful: Focuses on fun, games, and silliness. Encourages their little to embrace their childlike wonder. (Mommy/Daddy/Caregiver) The Nurturing: Prioritizes emotional care and support. Creates a safe and comforting environment. (Mommy/Daddy/Caregiver) The Gentle: A kind and patient caregiver. Emphasizes positive reinforcement and gentle guidance. (Mommy/Daddy/Caregiver) The Strict: Emphasizes rules, structure, and discipline. Believes in clear boundaries and consequences. (Mommy/Daddy/Caregiver) The Dom: A dominant figure who enjoys taking control in the relationship. May enjoy BDSM elements. (Mommy/Daddy) Based on Focus: The Caregiver: Focuses on providing care and support. May be less focused on sexual aspects and more on nurturing and emotional well-being. (This can encompass both Mommy and non-romantic Caregiver/Babysitter roles) The Dom: Combines the parental/caregiving role with a dominant sexual presence. (Mommy/Daddy) The Friend/Companion: Prioritizes building a strong friendship alongside the D/lg dynamic. Focuses on shared interests and open communication. (Mommy/Daddy/Caregiver) Important Considerations: Age Play vs. Age Regression: Applies to all roles. Personal Preferences: Communication is key to finding a good match, regardless of the specific roles involved. Consent and Safety: Paramount in all D/lg dynamics. Remember, this is just a starting point, and there can be many variations and combinations of these styles. The most important thing is for individuals to find a dynamic that feels safe, fulfilling, and consensual for everyone involved.

Hello everyone on here! I wanted to ask the Dom's/Littles out there about how they approach the subject about entering a relationship with one another. For me I like to wait, i know so many want to jump into a relationship with someone so quickly to be collared or owned. But when you jump quickly it usually won't last and can end in disaster, because you know nothing about one another. I want to get to know my little, I want to know what makes them happy, what makes them sad, what they want in life. I know that frustrates so many but it's who I am, I want my little to be able to say she gets me, she understands me. I know that might sound strange to some but for me this is who I am. Until next time my darlings take care 💖💝💕

*waves* 👋🏼 I see that the OG post had been edited before I got a chance to slide in here - my opinion stands the same regardless. I have to agree with @Little kaiya on this. I have VERY pointed views about Littles (regardless of gender) being fuckin coddled and babied in the way that they are forever told that their boundaries are held to a higher standard … it leads to a good chunk of Littles (yes , on this site even) being spoiled tyrants that yell wolf whenever they don’t get their way. A lot of Doms boundaries are turned into “you won’t do what I want though so you’re not a real Daddy”. This in particular is what made me want to reply to this topic. I refute and refuse to go along with the trope that Littles are more vulnerable. That’s not a Caregiver and Little issue - that’s a mental health and lack of self respect issue. Whenever I see anyone referring to Littles as more vulnerable - I just see it as enabling. I picture myself - and kind of chuckle to be frank. Do I look vulnerable ? I dare someone to try and fuck with me 😂 Just because someone is little - it doesn’t make them some fragile and weak creature that can’t or shouldn’t stand their own ground. Repeatedly enforcing this idea does more harm than good as does the idea that Caregivers are immediately met with a passive aggressive attitude because they haven’t “proven themselves” to someone yet. I picture myself as a caregiver - especially a man caregiver , and reading that passage of the unedited original post and think to myself , “Who the hell are you ? Who says we all watch porn or just don’t respect boundaries ? What about my friends who have been hurt and manipulated by littles ?” I picture myself as a brand new member here and that being the first post I read , it would rub me the wrong way and make me feel excluded , like a target in this community. If I don’t bend to a littles will - am I going to be outed as a piece of shit even when it’s not true ? What about all the littles that watch porn then expect their partner to be able to perform like the Dom in the porn and belittle them and leave / cheat when they cannot ? I’m sure we all understand what you’re saying here - boundaries are important. Respect them. It’s pretty simple - but in my humble opinion - it can get really sticky when it’s laid out like this is. I don’t have many little friends for a reason - a large amount that I have met have been some of the nastiest , most manipulative and unhealthy people I’ve come across. I’ve also met some caregivers who shouldn’t be allowed to grace anyone’s presence let alone a littles. They are both equal in my opinion. Too often littles are met with a softness and niceness when they are just as guilty of poor behavior … caregivers are met with angst and a demand for them to “do better”. It’s very biased - and even tho I usually am the odd man out on these types of posts … *shrug* I don’t really care. People come into this community as newbies and see this kind of stuff and it just makes me wonder - how many opinions are based on being sucked into posts where it boosts one side but beats down the other instead of their opinions being individually based on their interactions with sole human beings. I’m so tired of people being lumped into groups and seemingly pinned against each other. Not that this was your intention posting this - I’m just rambling at this point because I believe it ties into one another. I could go on and on about this - but my happy ass needs to go get ready for work and out of this bathtub. Hopefully as always - I wish to provide thought provoking conversation and hope to find balance in this community at some point where things like this can be calmly debated and discussed without one side being pinned against the other. Monkey out losers 🐒

It's an important message but one that I think is too often communicated in a one sided way. Boundaries should be respected whether some is a little, bottom, sub, Daddy, Top, Dom, or anything else. Boundaries are not one sided and to be set by one person in a relationship or dynamic. It is essential that ALL parties in a relationship or dynamic communicate their boundaries and have them respected. Too often I see people reminding littles, subs and bottoms that their boundaries are important but leaving out the other side of the equation which is as important.

A Vanilla/Ddlg partnership can totally work. You just have to find someone who's open-minded and accepting, even if they don't want to participate the way someone into Ddlg would. Having a partner/cg can be nice, but it isn't a requirement to be a Little. A Little can choose to be alone, just like any other adult. There is no right or wrong way, only your own way. Also, age regression/dreaming doesn't have to be tied to needing a caregiver. But unfortunately, a lot of doms (and some Littles) seem to hold this strange view that single Littles are invalid. They're wrong. We are all adults making a decision on whether a partnership dynamic is right for us. Nobody can tell us what to do or force us into a relationship.

Well my darlings it's come time to close this chapter for the day. It's been a very busy day and I hope all of you have had a beautiful blessed day. And I wanted to let all of you know I know I use a lot of pet names but I don't do it for any bad reasons or trying to lead anyone on. I fear some of you might be thinking that, but in all honesty I do care for all of you in a non-sexual way. I know this can be used for a dating platform, I want to use this for finding my friends, finding a place I belong, finding my extended family. And if I find love along the way then that would be amazing too. Most of you on here are old enough to be my actual child so it actually brings the mom out of me not a Mommy Dom. I wish I could hug each and everyone of you and show you that you matter. So many of you just want someone to care for you. And just because I am not romantically involved with any of you that doesn't mean I don't want to care for you and want you to succeed. At my job I am the Mom, and I love helping others. I love watching people grow and find their way in this life. Life is so hard and complicated, to me it's so nice to have one person to fall back on. I know most of you wont agree on what I am saying but for me, I just want to help and lift people up. Not lead them on or confuse them. Life is so hard and confusing as it is Sorry for my little rant, take care sweet ones until next time, remember you are loved and you are so worthy of being loved 💝

sounds like you have a picky eater on your hands! idk if your little has ARFID or previously had an ED or anything, but my advice is, if you don't do this already, cook food for you and make sure they try some. maybe you'll find more things you both like this way! and if your little is addicted to frozen meals, it may be a matter of not being seasoned properly or seasoned enough! frozen food has a ton of flavoring additives like MSG and Citric Acid or cheese emulsifiers to make the food more appealing to eat and easier to mass produce. MSG is not evil! it's actually just a salt and is very common as a seasoning in asian countries and has been for centuries! if you use knorr or other "chicken bouillon/stock powder" that has msg in it too and it tastes really good in a small amount lol. it enhances savory flavors and makes them pop! msg has a bad rap these days but it's really a useful thing to have in your arsenal if you have a picky eater who loves stuff like tv dinners and chicken nuggies lol. they're all very salty and sometimes they aren't very good or good for you, but they are Safe foods for a lot of littles, especially those with autism (i would know, even though i throw it down in the kitchen i still love nuggets lol.) additionally, if you're young and don't have a lot of cooking experience (a lot of people learned when they left the house and home economics class was unavailable or underfunded-- i get it!) my advice is to watch cooking youtubers, and i don't mean the big names like Joshua Weissman who demands you use dry aged wagyu to make your food taste good (lol) i just use jarred garlic and it still tastes great! listening to actual chefs can help you learn techniques from culinary school (like how to sear meats, how to prepare a proper smash burger, etc) and you get to look at new foods and learn flavor combinations you may have never considered before! personally i liked Camirra's Kitchen and i also like random dudes who cook cajun food lol. soul food is really tasty AND it teaches you a lot about hard topics like "using cheap meats", "making bitter stuff taste delicious", and "about how much seasoning you should consider". but most importantly, see what kind of frozen foods your little likes. do they like spaghetti? make spaghetti at home. ask them what they like about the freezer section stuff! what flavors, how done they like the pasta, sauce to noodle ratio, do they like ground meat or do they like meatballs (my advice? buy bag meatballs, making them at home is a nightmare and takes forever. frozen meatballs are literally fine). buy alcohol to cook off in tomato sauce. use cheese with reckless abandon (i loooove a cheesy tomato sauce, a block of cream cheese in there makes it decadent). salt appropriately. but most importantly, let them taste your new acquired knowledge and see if they like some of the dishes you made at home with more veggies (ask which ones they like! and some of them you can blend up and sneak into the sauce hehe as long as they aren't allergic) and less of the stuff that makes stouffer's such a nightmare for people without dietary restrictions where frozen lasagna is all they can eat. any food is better than no food-- but if you find stuff they like more than tv dinners and nuggets, start there. later you'll learn what flavors they actually prefer. and if you can, it sounds like you're doing a lot of work already! see if your little will help with dishes if you make it fun and rewarding and congratulate them when you both get done washing and drying those thangs lol. then you have a clean kitchen, and you guys get to enjoy some quality time together even if it's at the sink, and if one of you gets bored with either the washing or drying or putting up, just switch tasks with each other! i clean all the dishes and cook at my house, but i don't have a job and i genuinely love to cook lol. i have been letting them pile up though.... i'm actually putting off doing them right now! lol

Just as there Doms that push boundaries so too there are littles and subs that do so. As an example, I can't count the times I've seen littles say, "If you loved me you'd diaper me" or "If you really cared about me you'd be sexual when I'm in littlespace", even after their partner has made it clear those things may be hard limits or boundaries. Just because someone is a little doesn't automatically make them more vulnerable. Sadly, I find that stereotype gets reinforced so often that it becomes harmful.

A Dom who does not respect boundaries is a bully, not a real Dom.

Yup. I have experienced (totally gonna be a little spicy and bitter here), that the word clingy can be used as a net to snare if one is not careful and does not really get to know the person before jumping in. I have jumped in and regretted it. They may say they want clingy, that they are clingy, but really what they want is an audience when they want one. It is not receptive. It does not give but takes and expects one to be %100 there and receptive to what ever energy they are throwing because you are supposed to be "clingy". On the other end of the spectrum folks use it to snare and then get overwhelmed with it. It is probably the dynamic itself they are running from. I have learned only time like for real time and being open really shows you who a person is and how they even define let alone act out words like clingy, Daddy and Dominant. I am so sorry some folks misrepresent themselves in the one place where we get to be authentic and genuine. Huggies for you OP and I am dusting off your shoulders in my heart :0).

You are valid just the way you are. You are little, with or without a romantic partner or platonic caregiver. You are uniquely you. No one can ever take your place. It might not always feel like it, but love surrounds you. In the direction you're looking in, and within yourself. You deserve to feel it. You deserve to overcome childhood trauma, if you have it. You deserve happiness. You deserve to dream, wildly. You deserve to feel better. You deserve having peace of mind in a safe space. You deserve to make littlespace, yourspace. You are allowed to speak up and say no. Your safety is important. You are a beautiful soul, so don't let anyone- including yourself, tell you otherwise~ Have a wonderful timezone. ♡

me too, i'm here for making friends too.... i am not interested in ruining my ideal relationship over someone on a forum! lol i really try to avoid people catching feelings for me because i just go "no thank you! ❤️" and that may seem mean but it's a forum and not ddlg tinder lol so i get it. and im from the south so i get people have pet namey, nice language like calling people "sugar", "honey", "sweet pea", etc. if someone knows they want anybody to love them and not someone who can commit to loving them romantically they need to be reasonable with themselves and know sometimes other fish in the sea get snapped up by different whales passing by 😂 it can hurt but there's a lot of room for error in dating and romance. lord knows ive caught feelings for people that didn't like me like that! but i moved on, it's fine lol. im happily engaged now so i am definitely here for "i want friends, do you guys wanna share pictures of your favorite stuffed animals?" lol. some people are just very maternal/paternal even if they're in a lifestyle like this, outside of a scene, i think it comes with the territory with being a mommy or daddy dom sometimes lol. im really nice but i have to put my foot down because if anyone tells me "he doesn't need to know" i'm telling on them to my cg/fiance immediately and getting outta there lol. i don't like liars and cheaters! lol that aside you seem really nice and i'm sorry people seem to be getting the wrong idea because of it. but even though im a little i wanted to say sometimes people will catch feelings for anyone online because they want literally anyone to love them, and it's definitely not their fault, but they need someone else who doesn't have their own life already built up lol. ive had a lot of people fall in puppy love with me and then they talk to me and realize i'm weird in a way they don't like anyway lol. but for anyone reading who is looking for their mommy or daddy don't give up, someone out there will love and understand you and give you kisses and cuddles all you want and it'll be a wonderful time... you just gotta find em lol. it takes time for sure

Hii Personally I wait. I think everything is way too rushed these days. There’s no harm in being friends then that relationship blossoming. I totally understand dating but that’s exactly it. It’s dating, it’s getting to know someone, their likes and dislikes and what it is they’re looking for. I think a lot of people take the whole ‘talking about relationships’ to mean actually jumping into something. Talking about what you want, where you see yourself in x amount of years or just have a slight idea of what you want it’s great, it’s part of getting to know someone. I’m a massive believer of communication (if it’s not already clear lmao) especially when it comes the kink aspect of things too. Boundaries need to be firmly established. Like, just because someone is into cg/l doesn’t mean they’re into other kink/bdsm stuff, they may use cg/l as a coping strategy. I think some people think it’s entirely sexual which is why boundaries and communication is huge! I also think, research and learning from each other is huge too. It’s so easy for people to get taken advantage of. a relationship is about (for me personally) communication, respect, honesty, loyalty (even if it was to be a poly relationship) fun, compassion, care, love and everything in between. okaaay I’m getting rambling 🤣 k byeeeee 🦋

"stopping using my name Daddy in certain aspects of conversation seeming like she's going out of the dynamic although for her it's 24/7 so that's confusing." This should be obvious that she's trying to make it clear to you that what she's saying isn't a game or part of the dynamic. I'm not sure what resources you've been using, but I'm here for you. You obviously came here because you could feel that something was off. That something is wrong. Reading things on the internet doesn't always make things clear, and sometimes we have to reach out and talk to a real person.

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're feeling incredibly hurt, confused, and invalidated, and that's completely understandable. What happened is definitely not okay, and your feelings are absolutely valid. You are not wrong for feeling this way. It's so frustrating and painful when you're vulnerable and intimate with someone, only for them to abruptly pull away without explanation. It's natural to question yourself and wonder what you did wrong. It's also hurtful when your genuine attempts to communicate your feelings and needs are misinterpreted and turned against you. It sounds like you were trying to have an open and honest conversation, and it's disappointing and hurtful when that's met with defensiveness and accusations of manipulation. Bringing up other concerns when you're feeling hurt is not "stacking issues"—it's often part of processing the current situation and recognizing patterns. It's especially difficult when someone you trust and love reacts in a way that makes you feel unsafe and unheard. It takes courage to express your emotions, and it's essential in any relationship, especially a D/lg one, to be able to communicate openly and honestly without fear of judgment or rejection. It sounds like you were trying to do just that, and it's so upsetting that it backfired. You deserve to be with someone who listens to you, respects your feelings, and works through challenges with you, not against you. It's okay to need space to process things, and it's okay to have concerns about the dynamic. It's not okay for your Daddy to shut you down, make assumptions about your feelings, or accuse you of manipulation when you're trying to communicate. Moving forward, it's important to remember that you are worthy of love, respect, and open communication. It might be helpful to have another conversation with your Daddy, but only when you both are calm and have had time to reflect. If he's unwilling to acknowledge your feelings and work on the communication issues, it might be time to consider whether this relationship is truly meeting your needs. You deserve to feel safe, loved, and heard. You are not "too much," and your feelings matter. Sending you gentle hugs and strength. You're not alone.

Run for the hills.

Hi everyone! 😊 I'm starting a new thread called "The Gratitude Jar" as a way for us to focus on the positive things in our lives, big or small. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the challenges and forget to appreciate the good stuff. So, each day (or whenever you feel like it!), I invite you to share something you're grateful for in this thread. It could be anything from a cozy blanket and a warm cup of tea to a supportive friend or a beautiful sunset. Sharing our gratitude can help us cultivate a more positive mindset and appreciate the simple joys in life. Plus, it's a great way to spread some warmth and encouragement within our community. I'll start! Today, I'm grateful for the sunshine streaming through my window and the sound of birds chirping outside. It's a beautiful reminder that spring is on its way. What are you grateful for today? ✨

Hello to all you amazing beautiful people on here! First I wanted to say you are all so amazing and you are perfect just the way you are. If anyone says otherwise they are clearly lying because you are perfect. Secondly I have been feeling a little under the weather lately, I'm so tired and not sure why. I believe I have caught the cooties from one of my patients which is no fun at all. Being sick and having to be at work should be illegal. I'm writing you all to let you know I'm not ignoring anyone just under the weather. I promise to still be there for anyone who needs a friend to talk too or just needs someone to listen to them. Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 💝💖💕

After taking a break from looking for a caregiver and spending time alone, I've allowed my age dreaming/regression experience to be with myself only and it honestly feels to be the best option for me. No one knows my safe place better than I do, no one there to push my limits and make me feel guilty for my way of coping, no groomers, no lies. For me, turning age regression into a dynamic of completely depending on another person doesn't seem right, it's about me connecting with my inner child again to heal from certain events; finding the strength withing the kindness, fragility and innocence of my younger self instead of viewing those qualities as negative. It's also the most vulnerable part of me and sharing that with another person has often led them into manipulating me with that or trying to take advantage. No, just because I age dream/regress doesn't mean I'm stupid or I'll accept your bad behavior, sorry you think of littles as an object or someone less intelligent than you. They're still people, people trying to be happy and do their best without hurting anyone, they have big minds full of creativity, love and innovation for the world and it's sad to see most cg's can't see past the superficial level. 💔 Since I can do most things on my own even when I regress, it's not a big problem for me to be alone, but I would still like to have a life partner who isn't necessarily part of the ddlg community but still knows that's my way of coping and for him be supportive. It's weird I've actually encountered more people in vanilla dynamics being interested in knowing and understanding me, my brains and essence than in ddlg relationships, but I've learned a lot of useful things in ddlg to help my own progress and actually make me feel better 🤍🌷. I hope all this doesn't sound weird, just wanted to share my experience since I know it's different for everyone here at the forum and community! ☺️💕

Hello to all you amazing beautiful wonderful people on here. I wanted to take a few moments of your time to remind you all that you are not alone. I know for many of you there are so many days where it's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to even get dressed or eat. Sometimes the simple task of just being, can seem so overwhelming. And I wanted to remind you it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to have days were you just want to stay in bed and sleep the day away. But remember these days will pass, I know right now it might not seem like they wont and it may even seem impossible. But I promise you, it does get better. You will get better and you will be okay. I know you all don't know me, but I am always here if anyone needs to talk. If you need a friend to rant too or just someone to listen to you, please don't hesitate to message me. You will never be a bother to me nor will I ignore your feelings. You are not nor will you ever be alone. Until we meet again rremember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 💗💕

I have heard of littlest that’s distressed them over punishments. Finding solutions that is okay with both of you seems hard and elusive. But you need to sit and discuss and find a solution that helps you because the problem will only fester and get worse

Hi PrincessM, That seems like a tough situation for you and I am glad you felt confident enough to share it. Your feelings about punishments are understandable, especially if those punishments go against your limits or are not in line with what you agreed upon. This guideline about “no walking away” feels too restrictive, in my opinion, certainly in a long-distance relationship. The partners can't see what is happening and act on that. Family obligations should proceed, as they sometimes need immediate attention. Besides that it doesn't sound fair to me that he seems to doubt you or make you feel trapped. The tips Dangerously_Well posted above are quite well and I have not much to add to them, but underline that communication is key and both you and your Daddy should set expectations correctly. Not only about the punishments, but about anything. A relationship is a two-way street and a DDlg relationship is no different in that. I hope you will do well and be able to sort this out.

Within DDLG, the dominant partner is typically recognized as a Daddy/Mommy/Caregiver or occasionally a Switch. I don't identify as a Big dominant or Switch dominant, but I am a Little and certainly not submissive in the traditional sense. I thought this could be fun to share my pov, as well as just a chance at opening up a discussion on the topic. So, as the title says, you can ask me anything. But please be appropriate, use trigger warnings if your questions are spicy, and be polite, is all I ask in return. It doesn't matter what side of the isle you're on. Maybe you're a new Daddy who's just super confused by the concept as a whole, or a Little who's a bit intrigued by the idea of power play. Well, here's your chance to ask me anything! Oh, and just a friendly reminder, that I can only speak of my own experiences and do not represent every dominant Little within our community. Other dominant Littles are free to share their pov towards any questions asked, should they wish, but it's also not necessary. ♥ This thread is now doubling as a chat space for Dom Littles. A pillow fort has been constructed for our amusement~

As a person who was in a toxic relationship and marriage with a malignant narcissist for sixteen years, I can promise it's easier to see in hindsight, and now you have more tools to help you be on the lookout in the future.

Alright, wrapping this up... We didn't end up actually talking, and I went a few days not really interacting. And, I started feeling better emotionally, physically.. Just better all around. The less I interacted, the better I felt. I had tried to ignore the ill effects, but the contrast couldn't be. It was clearly very unhealthy for me, so I ended things earlier last week. I *still* could not get her to say what she wanted in the end, but I had decided that my health was obviously telling me something and I needed to listen. It was a valuable experience, not regretting it. AND, for anyone who sees this. You may not be able to easily see when something is toxic for you while it is happening, but take a step back and see how your body responds. Then, listen to it. ❤️ to all, thank you

Good morning all you beautiful people on here! First thank you all for being some kind to me in the past few topics I have posted. Last night as I was reading on the forums I noticed so many littles, subs even Dom's seeking advice. It made me wonder how nice it would be if there was a specific platform or place for them to go to get the answers they desire. There are so much misinformation out there, and littles are so vulnerable that the wrong people could scam them or worse hurt them. And new Dom's just starting out need guidance too. If I could I would love to open a platform to help littles, subs and Doms. I don't know everything, because we are all still learning as we grow in this lifestyle. I just wish there was a way to help those out there to feel a little less alone and a little less lost. Until we meet again rremember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved ❤️

Me too the more the merrier of whatever there is so yay

I don't have a question, I am just happy to see more representation! I oftentimes confuse people when I say I'm a Dominant middle/little, but it makes sense to me. In a way.. little is who I am.. and Dominant is what I do (in relationships). 💖👑

Great idea ! My first entry here will be to show my gratitude to the OP for making this thread. And also those who have or will contribute to it. Y'all are what I am thankful for today. Hopefully this thread will serve as a reminder for us that this is a family/community and help us to grow closer as such.

I'm grateful for the "Good Morning" wishes from my Little, Middle and Pup. It warms my heart to be thought of first thing in the morning.

You guys, I just realized I am very clingy. I'm new to ddlg but I have ALWAYS been clingy. Like, if I don't talk my head off and get constant reassurance that I don't talk too much then I don't feel safe. Lol!! Anyone else want to weigh in on clinginess and how it feels to them? Daddies and little both can say why this aspect works for them or really doesn't.

Thank you all for the kind words, I work in the medical field and I don't ever want to come off rude or hateful to anyone. It's such a rare thing to find people who can understand and connect with you. So thank you making me feel a little less alone ❤️

To everyone out there, rather you are new or experienced welcome. I wanted to make a topic about knowing that you matter. In this life style there are so many of us that hide who we actually are, fearing others will judge us or never treat us the same if they knew who we truly were. And here we can be ourselves without feeling judged or being told we aren't normal or worthy of being loved. So I want to tell you that no matter if you are a Little, Sub, Mommy, Daddy, or Dom that you matter. You aren't weird, there isn't anything wrong with you and you are perfect just the way you are. Don't let other negative people pull you down. You are amazing just as you are, never forget how important you are. Remember you matter and you are so loved 💗💗

If you or someone you care about are feeling overwhelmed, worried, or simply stressed due to current global negative political environment, here are nine simple ways to deal with it: 1. Stay Informed, But Don’t Overwhelm Yourself - Balance is key. Stay updated on current events, but don’t drown in negativity. Choose news sources that focus on facts and avoid overly dramatic stories. Look for outlets that provide unbiased reporting or focus on big-picture trends instead of just the latest headlines. - Set time limits for news consumption. Avoid checking the news first thing in the morning or before bed, as it can affect your mental state. 2. Engage in Meaningful Conversations - Focus on understanding others’ perspectives, even if you disagree. Engaging in respectful discussions helps expand your knowledge and can foster empathy in a divisive environment. - Seek out diverse voices, and don't only surround yourself with people who share your views. It broadens your perspective and enhances critical thinking. 3. Focus on Local Action - Sometimes national or international politics can feel overwhelming. Redirect your energy toward your local community. Volunteer for causes that align with your values or participate in grassroots organizations. - Local engagement is more tangible and often has a direct impact on the well-being of those around you. 4. Find Healthy Ways to Process Your Emotions - Politics can often stir up strong emotions like anger, fear, or frustration. It’s important to process these emotions healthily. Consider journaling, meditation, exercise, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. - Practice mindfulness to stay grounded. It can help you detach from the emotional weight of political drama and focus on the present moment. 5. Build Resilience Through Self-Care - Take breaks from political discussions. Whether it’s through creative hobbies, spending time in nature, or engaging in physical activities, self-care helps you build the resilience needed to handle stressful political climates. - Recognize that self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for you to stay emotionally strong in the long run. 6. Focus on What You Can Control - You can’t change everything, but you can take small actions. Whether it's voting, participating in community projects, or supporting specific causes, every positive action counts. - Set personal goals that align with your values. Taking small, simple actions helps you feel in control in a world that can sometimes feel confusing or out of your hands. 7. Build Community and Support Networks - Find like-minded individuals who share your concerns but focus on solutions, not just problems. Being part of a supportive community can help you feel less isolated and more empowered. - Support diversity: Engage in groups with varied viewpoints but shared goals to promote dialogue, inclusivity, and collaborative problem-solving. 8. Channel Your Energy into Creativity and Advocacy - Political environments can inspire creativity. If you’re passionate about a cause, use art, writing, music, or social media to raise awareness and express yourself constructively. 9. Stay Hopeful - While the world can feel bleak, remember that change is often slow but persistent. Many social changes were once seen as impossible, and now they're part of the world we live in. It’s important to stay hopeful and recognize that your actions, no matter how small, contribute to a larger collective movement. By incorporating these strategies, you can better manage the challenges of a negative environment and focus on making a positive impact both for yourself and your community. Stay positive, happy, healthy and safe!

I don't think you need to reword the original post honestly. I think it opened up an important conversation that is allowing for different opinions to be shared and discussed. It may not have been your original intent but I think it is still a valuable outcome so long as people communicate openly and respectfully.

Hi Everyone!!! I'm watching Monsters Inc with my 9yo kiddo and I thought of a fun question! What would your door look like if you had one. You can write out a description or get super creative and draw your very own closet door and show us all 🙂

People are under the illusion that a dom/sub relationship the Dom is in control, this would be incorrect, it’s the sub. But not just in this situation in any situation if your boundaries are not respected you have every right in my opinion remove yourself from said situation, I’m at an age now if people don’t want to respect me I’ll hold the door open!!

Can we all take a minute to notice that sully becomes a daddy in this movie? 💕

Hey, or even a Dom little chat thread were Dom littles can chat hmmm?!! 🥹 🧐

You seem like you could be an awesome mommy.

I see this as completely unproductive and more than a little inappropriate in this context. This man is asking for help to achieve a positive outcome. Others have done a fine job of pointing out some of the finer points here, and I think the key theme that keeps coming up in communication and mutual shared understanding. I couldn't glean from your narrative if you and she had really sat down and talked out all the fine points of how you wish to approach this dynamic, but it feels like the two of you are on clearly different pages. I get the impression that she's tried to take a step back, and that you--in all good faith--may have carried things way too far. If there is anything to be salvaged here (and I don't know there is), then I think the dynamic has to be put on the back burner until such time as the two of you can re-establish a baseline of trust, then very clearly communicate your understanding and ground rules for how any future dynamic might unfold. While there is one overarching DDLG label that governs a lot of what you describe, the actual way it manifests between two people can and will be as unique as the individuals in a relationship. It's good to do research, and to learn from every source you can, but remember that the authorities about what works at doesn't are the people in the relationship and no one else. Best of luck!