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Trauma hits everyone different. You are doing the right things. You will make it through this. I believe in you.

@MissNMTX @Zina @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker Thanks for being patient friends! Sleep has been in short supply this week but the show must go on. Soooooo... feel free to read chapters 37-41. The book is for sure picking up momentum. Please remember to be checking in at least once a week so I dont have to guess if you are still participating. Have an amazing week! Pigtail

@RoseyLittle @MissNMTX @Zina @SquirtleSquad @kimmybunny @DaddysCosmicBunny Questions and new assignments are up friends!!! Its also time for a check in again. To check in tell me wether or not you think what is happening to Devrycks prisoner is justified or not?

I was thinking of starting next month with the first meeting

@MissNMTX @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker Its that time!!! Chapters 47-51 are officially open! So read on! Also the reading chat for halfway has been scedualed for Sunday the 15th at 7pm PST!! It was hard as we are all over the place but that is when the most people have a chance to come. Also Wednesday chat is moved to Thursdays permanently. Have an amazing week yall.

@MissNMTX @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker It was a hard pick but we will be doing Sunday the 15th at 7pm PST!!! The link to the chat is below. It will run for 1 hour ish https://www.ddlgforum.com/chatbox/room/4-pigtails-playpen-reading-chat/

@MissNMTX @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker You know what time it is!!! Qithput further teasing feel free to read chapters 42-46! Also the pole for our midway meeting is up so please go vote! Have an amazing rest of the week friends.

Trying to break patterns is not easy! I think you're showing great bravery. Sending you warms thoughts 🌟

oh sweetie I'm so sorry you're feeling the stress!! Like you said just remember deep breath! And remember I think you are way stronger than you think you are!! You're incredibly brave to come here and reach out! But even better, your self-aware of what you're doing! Which means you are in control!! And I will sit here with you and metaphorically hold your hand anytime you need me to! 🫂❤️❤️ Big hugs my friend big hugs!!

I know what it feels like to not have many friends in real life. That quiet loneliness can ache in places you didn’t know existed. I have people online who care, who show up, who understand me in ways that matter, but in the physical world it feels so sparse right now, and that hurts in its own quiet way. The world itself feels overwhelming. You turn on the TV or scroll your phone and there is no shelter from it. The fear follows you from room to room, like a storm that doesn’t know how to pass. It’s exhausting, and it’s heartbreaking. I wish I had a magic wand. I wish I could smooth the sharp edges and make everything feel safe again. I can’t do that. But what I can do, what we can do, is be here. We are here to listen. We are here to sit beside you, even in the silence. You don’t have to explain yourself or be strong for us. The world may feel frightening right now, but you are not facing it alone. We will walk through this together, one breath, one moment, one small act of kindness at a time. My door is always open if you need someone to talk to

Lately, I’ve been feeling really sad. The kind of sad that drains motivation until even getting out of bed feels impossible. I tried to stay positive, to be uplifting, to push through it quietly. Then I got really sick, most likely from chemo, it hit me hard, so hard I was crawling just to get into bed. Thankfully my stomach has settled, my body no longer aches or feels like it’s vibrating, and little by little, the sadness has started to loosen its grip. I’m writing this because no one really knew how sad I was. I didn’t let anyone see it, I let the depression consume me until I didn’t even know where to begin anymore. I could barely keep a smile on my face, and I had no energy left for anything. It made me start thinking about others. How many of the people who are always cheering others on have laid in bed wondering how they were going to get up because of depression? How many of the “strong” or “happy” ones are quietly carrying more than anyone realizes? That thought broke my heart. There were moments when I wrote small pieces about my sadness, but I never went deep. I never wanted others to see my true broken pieces my true sadness, how heartbroken and emotionally exhausted I was and how I couldn’t see past my own hands. Looking back, that’s when I should have reached out. I should have let others in and allowed them to help ease the weight I was carrying. I’m not sharing this for pity, and I’m not asking for concern or attention. I feel much better now than I did then. I’m sharing this as a reminder. Please check on the ones who are always smiling. Let them know you care. Let them know you’re there to listen if they need a friend. Because sometimes the people who spend their lives making others feel happy are the ones who need it the most. Until next time, remember this: you matter, You are loved. And you are worthy of being loved. -Miss Anna-

@MissAnna Thank you for trusting us with something this tender. What you shared takes so much courage, especially after carrying it quietly for so long. I’m really sorry you went through that depth of sadness and the physical toll on top of it, no one deserves to feel that alone. Your words are such an important reminder that strength doesn’t always look like smiling or pushing through, and that even the most giving hearts can be hurting deeply. I hope you know how much your honesty matters and how many people it will help feel less unseen. I’m really glad to hear you’re feeling lighter now, even if it’s just little by little. You matter so much, and you deserve the same care and compassion you so freely give to others. Thank you for this reminder to check in, to listen, and to love more intentionally. Please continue to be strong and know that you too are special, matter and loved 💛

Hi everyone! I've spoken with @shadowriderand he said when we earn a badge, he will add it to our profile. I'll send him a picture and he'll take that and do his stuff. So, just like in real scouts, you be able to show everyone what you've accomplished. Once again, I'd like to remind everyone, that when you so a badge on your own, offline, you will tell us and we'll take the appropriate action to get it put on your profile. But, actual badges, whether on your own or with us as a troup will be your responsibility to purchase. I'll show you ideas of some and you can either go to the place of purchase and get them or pick one that you like better. If you want to get troup numbers, we are: GLOW WORM GUILD, (TROUP) #26.

I want to start hosting online troop meetings. these will be fun, interactive and we will be able to earn badges at these meetings and share ones that we have worked on during our own time. I'm going to start a poll of good times to host one each month. feel free to give comments on what you feel about this

@BabyPoppy you are very welcome! I've wanted to do this for a very long time also! @lillizzie24Thank you so much for jumping right in there and helping! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! And starting next month was my thoughts too. So we're on the same page. @Lil_K47 You do what you feel like doing, when you can. When you get well, you'll be able to do more. We'll still be here. We want this group to be relaxed and fun to do. We're still in the early stages but it'll smooth out and be so much fun!! Again, thank you ladies for making this all possible!!

Hello all, I'm Lefty as most of you know. I'm an older little, almost in my 40s. Well in my late 30s as of right now. I'm into MDLB.

video is not required attend however it will make u comfortable. some of the things i have come up with so far is. the first meeting is to get to know each other play some ice breaker games. other meetings i'm looking at doing is littles got talent where we can share something we are really good at, baking badge where we will come up with a snack the meeting before and then we will bake it together at the following meeting, crafts, talk about safety of stuff, basically it will be like a scout meeting but from the comfort of our own homes. we can also do game nights, coloring nights, fashion show, and I will come up with a badge for each one of these activities, I'm open to suggestions too. the other online scouting group I do don't do a lot together and usually just talk I don't want that out of this I want us to have fun, make new friends and earn badges as a group and if someone can't make the meeting they can also earn on their own too . it will be eastern time

I was just wishing for a whole playroom the other day where I could decorate it and have all my little stuff in. Then lock it up and just tell people it’s a storage room or something hehe. I don’t have an actual room for that yet, though. Might get a little she shed in the future, but make it a little shed instead. im still very shy when it comes to being a little. I want toys to play with, but still feel weird asking for them or spending money on them. I have lots of stuffies that are all over the house, and I have coloring books and crafts, but I really want my little ponies and a baby doll. I really want a baby doll to take care of. I think, like you, I am thinking maybe keeping them in a closed tote in my closet for now so people don’t see when they come over. I don’t have any small children in my home to play it off as.

I’m so sorry this is overwhelming and hard right now. It’s beautiful that you recognize the trigger, the trauma response and old coping patterns even as they happen. That is the biggest part of the battle in slowly changing them. I can hear the way you are holding yourself with compassion in it too and I am all out Pom-pom cheerleading you doing that. I know sometimes a return of old coping mechanisms can feel like a game over button that starts us over. Womp womp. But this isn’t retro Mario style gaming, it’s 2026 rpg style! When we return to the coping mechanism we are not back at the beginning, we bring with us all our xp, and gear!! I swear this metaphor works. 🤣 Even in an old behaviour YOU are a different person than each time before, with a little more awareness, a little more practice. Like you write, you are not alone. One breath at a time, one moment at a time. You are human and beautifully imperfect. Also *climbs into the hard place with you and just sits* we don’t need to fix nothin. Happy to just sit with you in it. ♥️

@MissNMTX @Zina @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker Please comment here friends to let me know you are still going forward with us!!! I know some of us have been a little busy but the once a week check in helps me keep it all organized.

Healing is not a straight line, it doesn’t come with a deadline or a finish flag. It takes time, it takes facing nightmares that don’t always make sense. It takes therapy, and often more therapy than you ever thought you’d need. And that doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means the wound was deep. One thing that helped me was journaling. When thoughts loop endlessly in my mind, writing them down gives them somewhere to go. It’s called docking. Taking the pain out of your head and placing it on paper so it doesn’t keep racing, so it doesn’t keep owning every quiet moment. You won’t forget what happened. That isn’t failure. Healing isn’t about erasing the past, it’s about time. Time to breathe without bracing. Time to look in the mirror and slowly stop seeing only the broken child who spent years just trying to survive. The way I coped was therapy. I know how hard it is to take that step. I know how vulnerable it feels. But it helped me understand something vital, what happened to me was not my fault. And what happened to you is not you fault either. Surviving does not define us as damaged. It defines us as resilient. Please remember this: You are not alone. You are not broken beyond repair. And you are worthy of being loved My door is always open if you need a friend

@Snowyy I’m really sorry you’re carrying this. What you’re describing makes so much sense, especially after going through something that hurt you deeply. Nothing about the way you’re reacting means you’re broken or “odd”, it means your mind and body learned how to survive when things weren’t safe. That on-edge feeling and those coping habits are signs of strength, even if they feel exhausting now. Healing doesn’t mean pretending it never happened, and it doesn’t require you to relive or explain it in detail if you’re not ready. It’s okay to move forward slowly. The pain coming back doesn’t mean you’ve failed or gone backwards, it just means your system is still trying to protect you. There are ways to cope without talking much about the past. Some people find grounding things helpful when memories hit, focusing on your breathing, noticing what you can see or feel around you, or doing something physical like walking or stretching to remind your body that you’re safe now. Writing things out privately, creating routines that help you feel steady, or having one small thing that brings comfort can also help take the edge off. None of this fixes everything overnight, and that’s okay. Please be gentle with yourself. What happened was not your fault, and feeling disgust or pain about it doesn’t define who you are. You’re already doing something brave by wanting to heal. You don’t have to do this perfectly, and you don’t have to do it alone, support can look many different ways, at your pace, on your terms. I’m really glad you reached out. You deserve peace, and even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, it is possible to move forward while still honoring what you’ve been through.

@LittleAmbi Thank you for sharing this. I’m really glad you wrote, even if you’re not sure why you did. Feeling that lonely can be incredibly heavy, and it makes a lot of sense that being home so much has stirred things back up again. I want you to know your feelings are valid, and for sure you’re not weak or failing for feeling this way. It actually says a lot about you that you’re still trying: working out, doing chores, looking for ways to care for yourself even when it’s hard. That takes real strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it’s helping right now. Loneliness is a tough one, it’s not something you can “productivity” your way out of, and that’s not your fault. (And for what it’s worth, you spelled loneliness just fine. I’m really sorry you’re carrying so much, especially with everything going on in the world. When dark thoughts start to feel overwhelming, reaching out like this is a meaningful step. You’re not invisible here, and you’re not alone in this moment, even if it feels that way inside. I’m here to listen, truly. If you want to talk more about what’s been weighing on you, you don’t have to hold it all by yourself. 💛Feel free to follow and reach out to me anytime, even if you want to just say hello!

I'm right here with you if you need someone to talk to. I know how much you loved your kitty cat and I can't imagine the pain you're going through. It's heartbreaking and it absolutely just sucks. They aren't just an animal they become your kids they become your family they become your best friend. They love you unconditionally and when you lose them you feel like you lose a part of yourself. I might not be right beside you but I'm sending you the biggest most warmest hug. I'm right here if you need me

@MissNMTX @Zina @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @kimmybunny @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker Alright friends. For those of you that enjoy these here are questions for chapters 32-36 The mystery is really killing me at this point and stopping at the chapter marks is definitely hard. Per usual make sure to spoil your answers and post in the linked topic below. Post here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/64956-nocticadia-question-answers-spoilers/?do=getLastComment

@MissNMTX @Zina @RoseyLittle @SquirtleSquad @kimmybunny @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker So sorry friends last night was a giant mess lol. But I know we all have days like that. I havnt heard from a few of you. If you are struggling please resch out and communitlcate as I 100% understand. Without further ado feel free to read chapters 37-41

Thank you for being so kind to me and thank you for your kind offer

Thank you for your kindness

When chemo had you broken, sick and dizzy. When darker times and depression took hold. When you were brought down to your very lowest... one of your first thoughts was still for other people and if they might need help... 😭like it or not, you are a truly special person. ❤️ ... and yes you are right. Those who have felt or still feel deep pain, are often the quickest to offer support, because they are the ones who know how much a kind word or gesture can mean in a moment of darkness. If you ever want to vent to a random 3rd party about how much of a struggle life can be, and how much energy it seems to want to take from you, I am here for you and I think so are a great many people on this forum.

You are a very strong person. I have known other people who have had chemo. It's never easy. Thank you for being a person who cheers others on and thank you for the reminder to reach out to others who may secretly be having a bad time. You never know when someone needs a little extra light in their life.

@RoseyLittle @MissNMTX @Zina @SquirtleSquad @kimmybunny @DaddysCosmicBunny Alright friends here are questions for chapters 26-31!!! Chapter 31 was sooooo amazing. I hope yall are enjoying this story as much as I am. Like usual remember to use spoilers and post in the area linked below. Post here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/64956-nocticadia-question-answers-spoilers/?do=getLastComment

Hello all! Pigtail book wurm extraordinaire again! So my sub club The NNC is bustling but the main club here has been a little dead. Soooo I am hoping to bring a little life to it. I am going to do some more posting and such but I would love any suggestions yall would like to see! Also please comment here if you are jyst in support or interested in general! Let's make this the year of reading because I know we all have reading goals we want to make!!! Pigtail

Question 30: Question 31: Question 32: Question 33: Question 34:

This has really helped me today

Question 22: Question 23: Question 24: Question 25: Question 26: Question 27: Question 28: Question 29:

@MissNMTX @SquirtleSquad @RoseyLittle @DaddysCosmicBunny @CuriousBaker Hello all!!!! Congratulations on making it halfway through our book! At this point I usually scedual a group chat where we log into the book live chat here and discuss. The dates you will be voting for will be February 11-17th. Please vote for ALL dates and times that work for you. I have it set up so you can click all that work and then submit. Along those lines please comment here if you cannot/will not be attending so I scedual it for those that are coming. The discussion will be through chapter 41 and will run for an hour ish. The times are all PST, please let me know if you need help with what time it is in your time zone. Also feel free to ask questions or clarify by commentong here.

I have been taking big steps and today was the initial phone call to go through all my allergies, meds, and stuff! It was a lot, but it's over and in 1 week I'll have some direction on which specialists I need to see while I'm at Mayo for 2 - 3 weeks... it's getting real, but things are falling into place. My classroom is in order My kiddo has a safe place to stay I have the hotel booked I just need transportation to and from Rochester, my car won't make it and my family and friends are not available... so I'm looking for local community support, either a ride or a vehicle to borrow. I firmly believe it will be ok. All things work out in the end. Plus the nurse told me today I don't have to have a support person while I'm being evaluated, so I just need a ride, not a person the whole time! I've got this! No need to be anxious!

Hi everyone I love collecting crystals as well. But I tend to pull to blue shades of crystals. Since blue is my favorite color.

Im caught up and still reading with yall 🙂

hi everyone, i just wanted to say thank you for taking time out of your days to offer me such comforting and thoughtful words. it means so much to me. i’ve had some time to arrange my emotions since this post and i do realise the sentiment offered to me the most out of everything else does come from a place of sincerity and care. it was just too raw at the time and the bitter reality of being physically separated from my cat by the veil between life and death was just such a shock to my system. it doesn’t mean that that has to be the only reality though. of course i’d love for my cat to be running around in heaven right now - in full health, without illness! and i’m pretty sure my bond with my beloved cat (who is called puppy, lol) transcends the universe itself. i’m intent on being reunited with him one way or another. i’m just honestly a complete nutjob when death happens because i have so many intrusive thoughts that take over, i won’t get into all that because it’s seriously unhinged - but i’m a little better for now. one day at a time and all that! i guess the reason it hurts so much is because he truly was so special. he was so caring. this is a cat that would find all sorts of strays and bring them to our garden because he knew i’d feed them. so many strays either ended up living in our garden or frequenting it because they had safety and food. and if he found injured strays on his adventures outside, he would come to pester me nonstop until i’d follow him back out. he never ever meowed. he just grumbled lmao. so i knew whenever he whined and pawed at my legs, something was up. he’d take me to them and walk around in circles while i’d either help or arrange for help if it was an emergency — the first cat we rescued together was a pregnant stray with a cancerous tumour on her ear. i see that day so vividly in my mind. one time he dragged a small cat to my doorstep that had its hind legs ran over and hopped into the car with me when we took her for emergency treatment at the vets. when he bonded with a much older stray that never felt safe around people enough to come inside my house, he ended up moving out into the garden for the whole winter just so that the elder cat wouldn’t be alone. eventually that cat spent time in my house but stayed near the back door for a quick exit. i had to put two beds there but they ended up sharing one, hahaha. my puppy was just so so sweet and so loving. i felt so lucky that he chose me back. he was never a lap cat though! i think in all our years together, he slept in my lap a total of seven times. but i knew he loved me. our love language was nose boops, his feeding time (he loved to have me watch him eat lol) and him sleeping between my legs for hours and hours. so many days we lazed away together, my hand idly scraping through his fur for hours, or his small head resting in my palm until my arm went dead. he would stare at me until he fell asleep. sometimes he’d wake up just to stare at me all over again lmao. when i was much younger i wanted to make an attempt on my life after the first failed. he came into my room at the very last moment and immediately knocked his head into my body over and over and crawled all over my legs and gave me a thousand kisses then stayed by my side a whole week… which was huge, because his outside time was VERY important to him. it’s like he knew exactly what i was thinking/feeling and wouldn’t leave me alone as a result. what kind of love is that? is that a love that can be captured in any words at all? even if i were to write about him for the rest of my life, still it wouldn’t even slightly encapsulate just how precious he was. i have to learn to live without him and live with just the memory of him now. my heart shatters at every turn when i think about how his paws are no longer following behind me. that we once lived so inseparably is the part that crushes me the most. well, i’ve probably rambled enough for one night. i will still stand by the idea that the best place for him is with me. but i can find hope somewhere in my heart that we’ll be together again, in some way. thank you all once more — so much. goodnight. 🌸

When I regress, i basically have two ages that I go into. But the majority of the time I'm in my 5 year old headspace. I have toys however for both age levels. 5 & 11. 1. Here are a few of my toys: * Calico Critters ( Sylvania Family) * Hello Kitty (Basically, i just collect these, although i have coloring books and cups with her on/in them) * My Life As ...Dolls (18" dolls) * Barbies * Little People * craft items * Baby Dolls I collect a few things also, cause i like the aesthetic of them. 2. The kind of stuff i would like to add?~ * More Calico Critters and their play sets, * A few more of the MLA Dolls but more so of their clothes and domme furniture * I collect Momoji dolls so would like to collect more of those * 3. Decorations: I'm in the process of redoing my room, there are a few things i need but there are a few things i want to eventually purchase. Such as: * cute rugs * some fairy lights * new curtains * a few new blankies And a few nic knacks I want to also get back into sewing, so I would like to make a few of my clothes for my dolls. I also want to learn to quilt so I can make my own. I hope this isn't to long. Also, these things that i have were collected over time. We didn't just go start buying a lot of things at once. If you're still new and still discovering your little side, buy something in small quantities and see if you like to actually play with it, feel comfortable with it, etc... That way, you're not out of a lot of money. One last thing, my little's like to be read to. If you are alone at the moment, maybe get a few audio children's stories and enjoy being read to that way for now. Coloring and reading are some of my 11 year old self's favorite Pass time. Sorry this is so Looong. I don't get to talk about this stuff that often! 😊

Movie Night starts in 5 hours

I know!!!!! Like the slowburn is so goood but also like I need more lol

In support!!! Go reading goals!

@JunleMaster Thank you for sharing this. When someone has ghosted me, here’s what helps me find closure: I gently acknowledge the reality of what happened Being ghosted hurts, and I allow myself to admit that. I try to name the situation honestly, without blaming myself or making excuses for them. Accepting the reality — even when it’s painful — becomes a powerful first step toward healing and moving forward. I give myself the closure I deserve I remind myself that I don’t need their response to find peace. Writing out what I wish I could say helps me release the emotions I’ve been carrying — the confusion, the disappointment, the unmet hopes. This is my way of honoring my feelings and allowing myself to close the chapter with compassion. I turn the experience into self-affirmation I recognize that ghosting says far more about their ability to communicate than it does about my worth. I use the experience to reconnect with what I value in relationships — respect, clarity, and emotional presence. It strengthens my resolve to choose connections that truly meet me where I am. I remind myself that I’m allowed to move on without all the answers. Closure isn’t something someone else gives me — it’s something I build for myself, one kind and courageous step at a time. Please remember, people don’t ghost to protect you; they ghost because they can’t face their own discomfort. Ghosting is avoidance disguised as sensitivity. If they truly cared, they would have communicated—even awkwardly. So don’t overthink their silence. It doesn’t mean you weren’t enough; it means they weren’t capable.

this is one of my fav plushies!! her name is angel and she is all soft :3 i sometimes put nice perfum on her or glitter dust ✨she is an alíen *-*

Thank you for this! It is a great idea! I have been struggling with my trauma stuff for the past 6 - 8 weeks a lot, so I kinda backed off posting. I have hit outpatient therapy hard! Even adjusted my meds to help me sleep again, coz that was not happening at all! Work has been soooooo overwhelming and I just felt lost in myself! I go in patches where life is manageable, then it's not. I think this in normal, but maybe it isn't. I don't really believe in normal anymore. I believe in best for me. I do what I need to feel supported, loved and encouraged to be healthy and safe. As long as that is where I am mentally, emotionally, and physically, then I am good. I know way too much information about trauma and what to do to help children and families recover. I go to scary trainings where they talk about kids being hurt, adults being hurt and how to report. I even have to report people sometimes. I watch staff become overwhelmed at the homelessness of children in our classroom and the apathy of other staff who have seen it for too many years. I fear becoming numb but then become overwhelmed when my voice falls on deaf ears and am reminded of my childhood and how few people were there for me. If only ... statements run through my head at record breaking speeds and I simply wanna cry at the injustice of it all. Then I pause and realize, I am that statistic and I should be failing, but I'm not. I am that child I am advocating for in the classroom. I am advocating for myself and what I see a need for in my community. I am thankful for the trauma I endured and the pain that I remember daily because it makes me a better person, a better teacher and better at being aware of those around me. I believe I survived my childhood, and early adulthood so that I can advocate for others. My pain was intended to harm me, but I refuse to allow it to hurt me anymore! I will advocate for those who are hurting around me! I know the resources available in my community. I know how to access help and be a beacon of light for them. I want nothing more than to save the world, but instead I can help one child, one family at a time. I know what it means to have nothing, to be nothing and to be used by those who are meant to protect me. Now it is my turn to reach out my hand and help those who don't know better, to be better. I was the child who struggled, now I have the opportunity to help children who struggle. I was the parent with children who struggled, now I have the opportunity to help these parents. I am a teacher who gets the privilege of learning how to support families, educators, and communities in grad school so I can further advocate for our program and bring about real change. Seeing how my trauma can benefit others means the world to me. It makes me feel empowered and free from the chains of my past. One other resource I would share is the NAMI website. Lots of great information about mental illness and local groups that support people in their communities. There are some places where they have regular support meetings for people who struggle and for their families. https://www.nami.org/