Overview

@Baby Manda I love reading your post on this forum. You show such love and understanding to everyone on here. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it's okay that you will find your fairytale ending. What a beautiful memory to share, thank you for sharing that with all of us. You are such an important part of this community. You are so brave, so strong and your beauty shines from within you. Im so proud of you and I know everyone on here is as well. Please don't ever stop being yourself, don't ever let anyone's negativity bring you down. Because you are perfect just the way you are. Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 💗

Such is life but as long as we learn the lessons it okay to have mixed emotions of or memories

Thank you. Therapy helps a lot!

That's some sexy stuff right there lady!!! Phew! My hats off to you for that one.

Thank you dear friend. I'm looking for the truth beyond my feelings today. Sometimes my feelings overwhelm the truth. I am enough.

I wish I was a daddy and I could send you the support you need through words. I would tell you that you deserve care and support. You deserve to be loved where you're at instead of from some mysterious acceptable place. You deserve to be loved because you are amazing!

My first Daddy was a really more a friends with benefits thing, except the benefits was the DDLG. We met at my second full-time job, his full-time job, and we had a lot in common. We both we're single parents of daughters in high school and our personalities meshed well. We kinda figured out the Daddy/little dynamic together. As I learned more about myself, I realized I needed more from a Daddy than he could give. He figured it out long before I did and waited for me to get there, too. When I did, he was kind and supportive, but I felt very lost. Almost immediately I jumped into an online relationship with a Daddy and it was not good. Then I tried spending more time with my little friends, but I really was not coping well and it was not good either. I crashed badly and had a friend step in to be my temporary Mommy. It was good, but as I got stronger, we drifted apart and it ended. I've been a single little again for several weeks, but we really didn't have a daily check-ins for a couple of months. My daily routine, chores, sleep, and eating have all been off. I've also been struggling with pain from a broken foot that isn't healing and have had multiple visits to a half a dozen specialists in the past 6 weeks. All this said, I really need accountability to get my work done, but I haven't had it. I'm super overwhelmed with needing to clean my house this weekend because I have a housing inspection this week. However, I know I am capable and determined, so I started in the kitchen! I worked for 2 hours and got a lot done! Then I went to take off my super wet apron and the ties were knotted in the back! I suddenly remembered the last time that happened and my first Daddy was visiting. I was home alone (which is rare) so I had made supper for him and invited him over. I wanted to be good,so I washed dishes when we were finished and we talked. I really struggle with being taken care of and when I went to take my apron off, the ties knotted. He said, "turn around, I'll get it." I said, "it's ok, I can get it." Then out came the Daddy Voice and I did let him help me. Plus I got a gentle spanking and some cuddles. I really didn't know how to handle all my emotions and I cried, but he just held me and wiped my tears. Now cleaning today, when my apron knotted and I remember all the good times with him and my other Caregivers. Sure there's ups and downs, communication blunders, but I miss the moments where I felt safe, supported, valued, and special. I feel kinda sad seeing my messy house, remembering what was and knowing I'm not ready for more yet. Life can be so overwhelming sometimes that I miss the moments that are golden. Today my heart is happy for the good times I've had, but sad for the friends I've lost along the way.

Thank you

It’s not completely Radom hookups, I have a few trusted friends with benefits that I have known for years. So I feel safe with them and my kids already know them as friends from when I was in high school.so my kids feel safe around them.

I want to echo the words above, yes your feelings are valid! It is so hard to trust again and trust is earned, not given easily. If online only is what feels safe for now, then follow that, but also know that it is ok to just be friends. Enjoy the company of others and yourself for a while. Learn what safe feels like again before jumping into something new. As for the other needs, dear friend, I have been exactly where you are and I have tried the "random hook-ups". It's not always as helpful as it appears, and can really create some anxiety later on for you. There are other ways to get those needs met, that are safer for you. If you need a friend to talk about this, please message me. I'm a 9 years out from my abusive marriage. It does get easier to trust again, but what you're facing now is so hard! My heart breaks with you as you struggle through this time.

I absolutely hate that you feel this way, Sunshine you are not a failure. To me as Dom's we are to help you grow not to make you feel as though you failed us. When a Dom sets rules no matter what kind it should be to help you, to support you and to show you how to love yourself. We are to uplift our littles/subs/slaves or whoever we are with. Not to make them feel unwanted or defeated. Sunshine you are not a failure, you are brave, wonderful, perfect and beautiful just the way you are. Don't ever let someone try to cover that beautiful light from inside you. You are seen, you are heard and you are valued. I see you, I hear you and I value you! Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 💟

It’s not only normal, but advisable, to be cautious after a bad experience romantically. You’re a mama bear with cubs to look after, so it is totally normal to not want to expose them to that again. As for online only, that’s something only you can answer. If you’re okay with that aspect of a dynamic being online and only fulfilling physical needs with random hookups, good for you! I don’t think it’s anything you need to feel conflicted or guilty about. If it’s something you find works for you, great!! If not, well? Then you learned it’s not something you are interested in and that’s great in my mind too.

Sunshine the first thing you have to know it's not your fault. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you shouldn't feel or think a certain way. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to have bad days. Please don't allow him or anyone else try to make you feel bad, remember you are worthy of being loved. You deserve happiness just as anyone else does. Triggers can be hard to overcome but that doesn't mean it's impossible. When you start feeling overwhelmed or upset think of a place in time, a moment that makes you happy. Keep focusing on that moment, you will see your breathing slowly going down and your mind slowly calming down. And it is a big deal because it bothers you, I don't like when people down play someone's feelings. Just because they can't understand what you are going through doesn't make it any less real for you. I can never stay at my family's very long, they are exhausting because they are drama. I once had a friend call me and I jumped up screaming I had to go save Timmy from a well lol no lie I did. (Not one person called me a hero 😂) My door is always open, I will listen, you can rant to me all day and I won't push you away. My arms are always open for hugs and I promise you that you will be okay. You aren't alone, you are seen, you are heard, you can have bad days. You don't have to stay any longer than you want too, you are beautiful, you are brave, you are strong and you will prove them all wrong. Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are so worthy of being loved ❣️

Yes, it's very normal Sunshine, and it's okay to feel that way for a while. Your feelings are valid, and don't let anyone try to bully their way into your life. Just like beanbean said trust is earned not given. You are allowed to vent and you are seen as well as heard! Until we meet again remember you matter, you are loved and you are worthy of being loved 💓

Thank you beanbean I need to hear that.

I think it’s very normal in your situation to do that for sure .trust is hard to earn back

I’m a 43 year old middle/little and my daughters and I had a bad experience with my X-husband (my son’s father) and now I’m scared to bring anyone home. Is it normal that I feel that way and only want to do online? Or long distance? And for “other needs” to just find someone to “hook up with”?

Update and vent: I've seen 6 specialist in the past month and no answers. I'm trying to decide on heading to the Mayo Clinic. My foot is still broken, I've added a few more conditions to my list of "problems" and I found out I have several relatives with autoimmune disorders (different diseases, but all autoimmune). Now I have pink eye (which shouldn't be a big deal) that has knocked me out with joint pain, a headache, and fatigue. My emotions are on overload and I feel really overwhelmed! I look around my house and it is such a mess! Laundry need to be folded, dishes need to be done, stuff everywhere! I just don't know where to start and I just want to go back to bed! I've been in so much pain for so long, I struggle to remember anything else, but I need to keep fighting! I have a daughter to finish raising and a classroom that depends on me. My plan today is to finish the laundry and dishes, eat lunch and supper, take a nap and build my exercise bike. Positive thoughts for the day Dory from Nemo, "Just keep going, just keep going, just keep going, going, going!" Deep breaths and stretching where I can. "This too will pass!" My attitude is 80% of the battle! Focus on what I can control. Let go of what I can't control, and pray about the rest.

I love that you are able to let your little side out at work. It helps when you work with kids. I’m more of a middle them little always have been and my youngest child is around that age so when I play with him it helps. Finding the line between little and adult is hard because society has a standard for adults, but we all don’t fit that standard. I am also a single mom and know that having some friends that are also single moms is helpful for venting big feelings and emotions to. You did great and I know you will continue to do great!!

@Baby Manda I'm so happy and proud of you for taking the time to read and find something that resonates with you. Rebuilding self-confidence and focusing on what we can control is a powerful step toward becoming stronger—not only for ourselves but also to help others grow and take care of themselves. Similarly, as @Dangerously_Well has rightly pointed out, setting boundaries with social media is essential. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by the constant flow of information. Muting accounts or limiting screen time can help create a healthier balance, improving both our mood and sleep. Taking breaks and unplugging is also key for maintaining mental clarity. Keep the good work and feel free to reach out if we, in this group, can be of any help in your exciting journey!

Thank you for this post! It is helping me make it though! I found several ways to advocate today and it helped me rebuild my self-confidence! Focusing on what I can do, helps so much! When my soul is fed, I can find peace.

Hey lovely. I agree with the first response as far as the advice and general "correctness" of that response. It's text book advice. Gold ⭐ star. Here's what I would also add. Stop worrying about others and worry about yourself. A friend gave me some advice that really helped. He said, "YOU have to be the most important person to YOU in YOUR life" So, what this might look like is not going to your daddy if he's not a good person to handle holding your anxieties. He's making it about himself. I hate that for you. Friends online that are safe and calm can be the thing. Baths where u can relax. Time to yourself journaling or whatever sounds delicious and safe to you. Stop going to places and people that just don't get it. Duck out. Avoid. Deny people your presence who don't provide you what you deserve. Maybe this is bad advice but maybe it might give you permission to put yourself first. For example last Christmas I didn't go to my mom's cuz her home doesn't feel happy to me. I took my kiddo to great Wolf Lodge. I chose me and my life for once. And it was a fucking blast. Just once I wanted to stop pleasing others . Sure it rocked the boat. But I couldn't keep sacrificing my mental well-being so others would be able to continue the status quo. Ask yourself what feels good and then be sure to get that for yourself. Stop barking up trees that aren't giving you anything good. I'm not saying change anything with your daddy per se. Just get what you need from him in a straightforward manner. You know who he is and what he's good at. Stop hurting yourself against him. Stop hurting you. You get it. You take care of you first. You get what you need cuz you're bright, smart, and brave. You first. Always.

Oh, sweetheart, it sounds like you're carrying a heavy burden, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. It's so difficult when you're struggling with anxieties and chronic pain, and it's even harder when you feel like you can't communicate those struggles effectively with the people you care about. It's clear you're trying your best to communicate with your DD, and it's frustrating that it often leads to him feeling blamed or inadequate. It's important to remember that you're not trying to hurt him, and your anxieties are valid. Here are some thoughts, I apologize in advance if you feel I have overstepped or misunderstood: Regarding Communication with Your DD: "I feel" statements: These can be very helpful in expressing your feelings without placing blame. For example: Instead of: "You make me feel anxious," try: "I feel anxious when..." Instead of: "It's your fault I'm feeling this way," try: "I'm feeling anxious, and I would feel more reassured if..." Focus on your needs: When you're talking about your anxieties, try to focus on what you need to feel better. For example: "I'm feeling anxious, and I would really appreciate a hug and some reassurance." "When you say [phrase], it triggers a sad feeling for me. Could you maybe rephrase it next time?" Timing is important: Choose a calm and relaxed time to talk, when you're both less likely to be stressed or reactive. Reassurance: Emphasize that your anxieties are often irrational and not a reflection of his actions or his worth as a person. Positive Reinforcement: When he does respond in a way that helps you, be sure to express your appreciation. This can encourage him to continue that behavior. Regarding Chronic Pain and Social Interactions: Be clear about your limitations: Before social events, try to be clear with people (including your family) about your limitations. You could say something like, "I'd love to come, but I may need to leave early as I have limited energy." Set boundaries: It's okay to prioritize your health and well-being. If you need to leave an event, do so. You don't need to feel guilty or apologize. You could say, "I'm starting to feel unwell, so I need to head home now. I had a lovely time while I was here." Find supportive people: Seek out friends and family who understand and respect your limitations. It's okay to distance yourself from those who make you feel guilty or pressured. Communicate your needs: It's okay to say, "I'm feeling overwhelmed and need to take a break." People who care about you will understand. General Support: Self-compassion: Be kind and patient with yourself. You're dealing with a lot, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Seek support: Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you develop coping mechanisms for your anxieties and chronic pain, and also help you improve communication skills. You are not alone: Many people struggle with anxieties and chronic illness. You are not alone, and your feelings are valid. It takes courage to express your vulnerability, and you've done that. Please remember that you deserve to be supported and understood. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and to set boundaries to protect yourself. I'm here to offer a listening ear or any support I can. You are strong, and you are worthy of care and compassion.

Hi there’s everyone, I wanted to ask for some advice when it comes to talking to my DD about my anxieties. I knows dat is something neither of us can help a they are very crazy an irrational. Whenever I tells him I is feelin anxious he ask me why, buh when I explain why it turns into a huge ting where he can’t believe I tink of him dat way an how is all his fault for making me feel dat way, or if I asks to rephrase something cause it flip a sad switch in my brain den is me making him suppress who he is as a person, or about how he’s so bad at words and he never be able to talk to peoples. Is there any ways I can tell my anxieties wifout triggering a self loathing spiral? I try tell him many many times it has nothing to do wif him an is not his fault, a little extra kiss on da head or a hug or headpat would instantly dissipate those fears an anxieties buh I dunno what to dos. Da same goes for my chronic pains an illness, I get so exhausted from any social interaction that it makes me sick, irritated, and exhausted in a way I can’t even begin to explain. But everyone (not just DD) tell me that it’s no big deal, to suck it up and enjoy the party and blah blah blah and I just have to leave to cry in da bathroom cause it’s all so overwhelming and I cant say “hey I wanna leave” cause then it’s “why did you come if you’re only staying for 2 hours??” My own family already calls me the “dine and dasher” cause they have a habit of not actually making dinner until 3-4 hours after they said it would be ready. Is just so exhausting and I wish I could let it all out an genuinely have someone sit in front of me and tell me they understand and give me a hug, my brain is so very tired

Please post picture of said coffee mug 🥺