Overview

@redruffle41 I am lonely 😞 when I don’t have sissy or Daddy me get very lonely and I try to be a good boy for everyone. This is still new to me and for him cause he learning to be a Daddy again. Me is trying to keep strong and be a big boy. @BabyPoppy Hi Poppy, Wait … POPPY!!! Oh my goodness it’s been a while since we last spoke! Last time we spoke was on March 17 ! It’s so great to hear from you again! Yes! That’s how I been feeling. It feel like I’m gonna explode! I did speak with daddy this morning before he left for work and we still adjusting to it together and how he still getting use to being a daddy again and I’m still adjusting to having. Good Daddy. He apologized for making me sad. He said everything will work out. That’s how I feel . I need that validation that I am loveable even when I’m a mess. I mean he understands me and knows about my trauma . I do care about him a lot! He does make me happy 😊 I mean I really do like him. He does show up and he doesn’t try to hurt me on purpose. He really is the lighthouse in a storm and my sissy @little-faith helps me feel little when he busy. I love them both so much which is why I think I get these strong emotions and feel things so deeply. That is the hard part learning to say yes daddy and accepting he really does want me . He is really sweet and he makes me blush and gives me butterflies *blushes* I’m use to having people say they want me and then don’t show it.. Oh already having him and sissy in my life has changed for the better like I’m learning to have a voice learning not all men just want one thing from me or is like how I grew up. They make me feel safe in a world where I never felt truly safe. I just get worried and overthink sometimes but I know things will work out. I know things will get better! I’m just happy I got to talk to him and talk things out. How can I breathe when he takes my breathe away 🤭 no literally especially when I was bratty the first time my jaw dropped and oh my goodness he just knows how to give me butterflies and blush . I really do feel better .

@RainbowJackCutie I’m sorry that you’re going through so much in your life right now, and also facing challenges in your relationship with your Daddy. Thank you for trusting us enough to share this and no worries about 'venting'. Regardless of how you feel right now, you fully deserve a Daddy. When building a relationship, many of us tend to move too quickly or hold unrealistic expectations, which can sometimes lead to disappointment. It can help to slow things down, take baby steps, and take it one day at a time. I hope this approach supports you in building a healthy and meaningful connection. In the meantime, please remember to take good care of yourself -- eat well, get enough rest, and continue making time for little things and passions that bring you joy. Best wishes!

Hi Jack, Sometimes my feelings get so big, it feelings like I'm gonna explode! It seems easier if someone else just tells me what to do, but later I feel empty inside coz it's not really what I needed. I needed validation that I am lovable even when I'm a mess. I don't really need all my problems solved, just help solving some of them, like eating and clothes. What I need emotionally is to learn to accept myself as I am. Jack, your Daddy shows up and it sounds like he has some consistent boundaries for you. That is a Daddy saying, "I'm here little one. I'm helping you regulate. I'm your lighthouse in a storm." The hard part for us littles, especially when we have trauma stories, is learning to say, "Yes Daddy." And accepting his words he says. . If your Daddy didn't want you, he would say so. They speak up like that or they else aren't very dominant.... Having a daddy changes us, it helps us calm down and trust ourselves more. It builds us into better people. Keep communicating with your Daddy, and your sissy. It will get better. You are enough. And above all, remember to breathe! 🙂😉 Poppy 💕

Poor baby!, you sound lonely. You are capable of great joy when you are getting your needs met. Keep strong 🧡

when you see dis squishy come to me and we can talk whenever you want about it yk I got you bestie

I’m sorry for coming here and posting but this little just needs to vent about something…*takes a deep breath* As it says in the title I’m not sure if I deserve a Daddy or not anymore.. like I was introduced to him by someone not gonna mention who cause of privacy and at first super sweet and he knew what he was talking about and don’t get me wrong he is a sweet guy and told me he just wanted a BDSM relationship cause he was already in a poly relationship with 3 others . I mean yes he was there for me when it matters to calm me down but like I know he hasn’t been a daddy in a while ..*sniffles* it’s just the little things like I send stuff and I watch how he responds and it like I know what I can and can’t do by how he responds to it like no audio messages, not so many pictures or videos of me just being happy and silly and cute.. idk maybe it’s just me that’s to clingy and needy and knowing deep down nobody else would want a little one like me. My sissy been there for me the best she can be and brings me a baba and a paci and really gets into roleplay with me and I feel so little but then I start to miss Daddy and like we was roleplay in a play room and I was jumping around and having fun he just sat there in a chair watching me and ask if my sissy wanna join… he didn’t even try to interact and play with me. I been going through a lot iRL as well mentally and emotionally and financially. It’s like I can be happy and then sad and I miss my daddy terribly but I know the problem is me. I’m so sorry for venting. It’s just hard for me right now and he says he will try to help me with something I been struggling with but never really told me how and he tells me I can talk to him about stuff but I just feel like a burden and it’s like what if he gets angry at me and thinks I’m complaining to much and doesn’t want be my Daddy anymore. I know it’s my fault and I just feel like I don’t deserve a daddy cause I’m to needy and just wanna spend time with him.. I just wanna hide and cry most days. When the world gets to much I just wanna run to my daddy but I know I can’t cause he busy and has his own life and gets tired and wanna relax. I understand that , I really do and has been trying to be a good boy for him. I don’t spam him with messages or anything. I drink my water and eat and be patient. I do care about him and I trusted him and told him some very personal trauma stuff and he said he understands and ain’t like the rest. I’m very sorry for venting … *clings to my stuffie and hides in my blanket fort*

Thank you for your kind words! Have a wonderful weekend and happy Easter to you, too!

Thank you Poppy, your suggestions they are very helpful. I will look up the weighted hoody I think I would like something like that. I also where tight clothing under my cloths. It makes me feel so safe and relaxed! 😌 I often get disregulated because of work. I really like my job (I work at a farm) and I don't want to leave. I can just have a hard time sometimes. I like the push-ups idea bc I can do that in the work bathroom whenever I need a minute to relax. I've gotten into the noise canceling headphones, I'm just a little embarrassed about them. It don't want to come off as rude. But I know if explain it to my boss he will understand. I'll generaly where them when I am alone they make me feel like I'm in my own safe bubble of quite. Thank you so much! You mentioned so many creative ideas. I'm glad to know I'm not only one with these struggles. I hope you have great weekend and a happy Easter. ~💛Pichu

You mentioned a weighted blanket... I recently learned they make weighted sweatshirts for adults! It's a sensory thing to help with self-regulation! They can get pricey, but they don't need to be the fancy ones. Just a simple one will work. I also wear a onesie or body suit under all my clothes because the tightness helps me physically hold myself together in public or at work. I do wall push-ups when I start to feel over stimulated and those can be done in a bathroom stall at work or in public. I also hold an ice cube in my fist for 10 seconds to flip my brain from emotional to logical thinking. If I don't have access to ice, I put a cold paper towel on my forearms for 30 seconds. Another thing I do is Stomp it Out... when my legs need to move and my emotions are all mixed up, I stomp hard as I can in giant elephant stomps. It lets out my feelings without hurting myself or anyone else. I carry a small stuffy at all times and hold it when I need to have something to squeeze in my hand. Noise canceling headphones are wonderful. My oldest has sensory processing disorder, specifically auditory and she had to listen to special music 3 times a day to help calm her. Now music is something she does to remain calm, too. It has to be specific rhythms or beats in the background that sooth her, but it works to keep her calm. If light bothers, maybe some sunglasses even inside. I know that's a tough one, though coz I hear the lights. It's not just that they're too bright, it's also that they're noisy. I miss quiet lights. I use lamps at home as much as possible.

Hi @redruffle41, thank you for your thoughful reply! I really appreciate it.🫶 Yeah, I have more tactics and tools in the sensory department than I do in the meltdown department. I have noise canceling headphones as well as some earplugs, both of which are very helpful. I'm actually thinking of getting a second pair for work. 😊 I found the advice of pushing hard against a wall (or doorway) with my arms locked or if I'm sitting, with my back against the wall and my legs locked to be helpful. I will definitely be trying that! I have sorta done the ice thing but instead lowered the temp inside my house to make it cold. That numb feeling is grounding for me. Personally, I would be hesitant with the ice in fear of frost bite, all though, I have never tried it so you would know better than I. I think also having the concept of something to grip hard is also helpful. I don't have the type of head board you described but I for sure can find something ridged that I can apply pressure to. That pressure you described is exactly what I am looking for. In terms of pain and self***m. For me I avoid causing pain bc it can quickly escalate to actions that I don't want to take. I do think though what you described is a safe way for me to gain agency over my mind and body with out hurting it. Thank you so much for choosing to take time to help me out. It makes me feel seen, heard and like I'm not alone. I hope you have an amazing day. ~💛 Pichu

This is absolutely awesome, keep up the good work @redruffle41

Are you sure? I have lots and lotsa songs.... especially happy ones... and bouncy ones, and ones that pour out all the goop from inside and leave you feeling better... like Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams Smile by Sidewalk Prophets

YW... but also @BabyPoppy.... Add a song or two when u think of it ok!?

This is awesome! Thanks Em! 🥰🥰🥰

Hi everyone!!! Can I just start a special music playlist for folks who are looking for healing? It can be whatever song helps you feel/express all kinds of feelings about the effects of trauma and what it means to heal. You Will be Found - Dear Evan Hansen Soundtrack What was I Made For- Barbie soundtrack My House - Matilda movie soundtrack Fix You- Coldplay Ex Factor - Lauryn Hill Hold Us Together- Matt Maher When I Look to the Sky- Train Little Wonders - Rob Thomas Shine your Way - Owl City At All Costs - Wish movie soundtrack I am Moana (ancestors song)- Moana movie soundtrack What it Sounds Like - Kpop Demon Hunters soundtrack The Story - Brand Carlile Here's the YouTube music link https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpa_dd22kI4d879jy4GG6U5BJJuJUDu4d&si=rx2xcuzd5t4ak2gM What playlist would you make for yourself or a friend? Feel free to add to this or make your own. What matters to you most when you listen to music, what do some of your favorite songs do for you??

Hi 👋 @babypichu5 Thanks for your message and for being open to feedback. Gentle things to calm yourself are good and it sounds like u have a practice with sensory needs like low light, soft texture and weighted blanket. (Add noise cancelling headphones? They're about $50) But if you're about to explode IMO you need something that's going to answer to that deep well of anger, anguish, fear of annihilation that is a meltdown. To avoid the self ***m stim would it help you to find a place where you can PUSH your arms and /or legs really, really hard? A doorway can be a good spot, a bed with metal bars, or a small nook with walls that are close together and feels safe. For me, this is what feels good: if I can find the sweet spot where my arms can lock and I can engage my whole body without hurting a joint. If I'm sitting on the floor (because I've fallen there, lol) I love pressing my back into a wall using my straight legs. A hallway that's the right size can help or closet. I can hold a pillow to my face, add an ice pack to the face (someone can bring that to me if I'm melting down and set it next to me silently. I don't have to use it but I don't have to walk to the ice box if I need it either. This is a way for them to support that feels safe for everyone) and wow. Cold pain can really help get the energy out. If I'm on my bed I lay face down (scream into that mattress yo!!) and I press my hands into the metal bars of my headboard. I lock my arms. This is wonderful bc the mattress provides enough give for me to be able to find that sweet locked joint place for my shoulders and elbows but the mattress also PUSHES BACK AGAINST MY PUSH. It's so so helpful. A note about self***m and the need for pain: The contact from the bars on my palms can hurt a little and that's ok for me!! I don't know where you are with self***m but for me I have a relationship with pain that's ok for me to cause myself pain. The bars don't cut, they're rounded and not sharp. So the pressure is deep but not sharp. I have indentations after, never bruising. But this may differ for you in the amount you use this. My holds tend to be brief. Maybe 60 seconds at a time before I get tired and need to reevaluate. I understand everyone is at a different place with self***m. But I wonder if needing some pain is ok. And I think it's smart to avoid the harm from hitting your head or kicking that may hurt your leg or ankle. I do think kicking heels into the ground while lying on your back is ok. I have a gymnastics mat for that. If you need space to thrash around make sure your go to spot has enough room so u don't hit yourself on something hard. As a pre coping mechanism you can have someone lay on top of you, kneel on your back with knees on your hips and hands on your shoulders, or they can practice standing on you and giving pressure. This is good to practice when calm so u can communicate but maybe you can build up a practice that helps?

Hi friends 🤗. I would like to brain storm a problem together and see what you think. I frequently deal with emotional disregulation due to changes in routen and sensory processing disorder (spd). This can results in a meltdowns and shutdowns, I'm autistic, a fellow aspi if you will, so this is just comes with the territory. 😣 I have taken steps to try and mange my spd (thats a whole nother topc for another day) but can't manage meltdown well. I can suppress them up until appoint. Heck, I can even acknowledge when one is coming on but in those states I lack the mental capacity to acess the rashional side of my brain to find a solution. This delay in response easily yeids at best, a shutdown and at worst, a meltdown. One of the curent stratiges I've been wanting to impliment is to create a calm down corner and list of simple instrutions so that when I feel these feelings coming on, past me has made a plan for current me tackle the situation. Some context that can help guide answers are. -I hate noise and light when I am stressed.😖 -I love fuzzy, squishy, and smooth textures.😇 -I like deep pressure like a weighted blanket.😇 *mild trigger warning* Self-h**m mentioned. Skip the hidden paragraph if that topic causes you stress. Also another helpful detail, I lose the capacity to translate complex thought into words and often will result to grunts, yells, and screems to express emotion or "communicate" needs which is not productive and is distressing to me and the person trying to help me. When I calm down I mange to speak and have the simple speech patterns of a three year old. All that to say is I regress quite a bit. Again none of this negative behavior is on purpose it's not the same as having anger issues but is a nervous system issues (please feel free to ask me questions on this and I can clarify and answer as best as I can). To tie this all together, my question is what steps or rituals would you suggest I take as part of my written instructions for dealing with emotional disregulation as well as what sensory based activities should I implement to help myself calm down and reduce dangerous stims? 🩷 Thanks a ton for reading this. It means alot to me for someone to read my honest thoughts and reflection. It feels like apart of me gets to be seen and there for not alone. I look forward to interacting with your responses see your perspectives. Sincerely, 💛Pichu

@redruffle41 This really resonates—thank you for sharing something so personal. It’s a reminder that even the “on-the-fence” parts of us deserve a voice, too. Here's my two cents worth: That feeling of being “split in half” and sitting in ambivalence is something many of us carry, even if we don’t always say it out loud. There’s something powerful about putting it into words the way you did—it transforms something heavy into something we can actually sit with and begin to understand. I appreciate that you returned to your own writing when you were feeling emotional. That says a great deal about the kind of space you’ve created for yourself—almost like leaving a light on for a future version of you. Writing can do that in such a beautiful way. For me, reading and writing have been ways to make sense of the in-between moments—the ones without clear answers. They don’t always resolve the ambivalence, but they do help me feel less alone within it. In the first scenario, I feel positively about all aspects of the little girl’s character. As her mentor, I would welcome the opportunity to support her in building self-esteem and confidence, and in helping her feel proud of herself. However, I’m less comfortable with some/many aspects of her character in the second scenario. Existing between these two extremes and grappling with both sides suggests that you’ve engaged in a great deal of honest, difficult reflection—and that takes real courage. The way you describe these parts of yourself doesn’t come across as “too much” or “not enough.” It reads as someone who cares deeply, feels deeply, and is trying to find a way to be both safe and open at the same time. You’re not alone in that tension. Many people move between giving too much and then pulling back out of fear of being hurt. Neither side is the problem—both are trying to protect you, just in different ways. That warm, loving part of you isn’t something to dim or apologize for. The goal isn’t to stop loving easily, but to pair that love with boundaries so it is respected rather than taken for granted. And the more guarded, insecure side of you doesn’t make you a burden—it simply reflects areas that need care, reassurance, and time to heal. The right people won’t see that as “too much work”; they’ll meet it with patience rather than try to fix it. It may also be worth gently challenging one belief you mentioned: loving easily does not mean you’re not loyal. Loyalty isn’t defined by how many people you can love—it’s reflected in how you show up once trust and commitment are established. Those are skills that can be developed, not traits you lack. You are not “either/or.” You’re someone learning to integrate both sides—to hold onto your softness without abandoning yourself, and to protect yourself without closing off your heart. And that kind of growth doesn’t make you harder to love—it makes your love more genuine, more grounded, and more sustainable.

Hey folks I wrote this last year. This helped me when I was feeling emotional. I've always felt really split in half and on the fence about everything in my life. Ambivalence is my middle name. Thanks for checking it out and plz feel free to comment and or say what writing and or reading does for you in your journey. red touch yellow..... The little girl in DDlg. I love her. She wants to play and explore. She wants to crawl into your lap and have you explain that you're doing. She wants to be loved and loving with you. She is everything good, light, and innocent that she can be. She also wants to fuck and have you play with her panties and do naughty special things. All around she's a dream. The little girl in DDlg. I hate her. She's weak, insecure and needs constant validation. It feels like an empty hole that would never be filled no matter what. When that hole opens up it wants to swallow everything and everyone around it so that nothing; blackness, is all there is left. Run. Run away from her so fast. She will never be ready for a healthy relationship. She's toxic from the day she was born and no matter how hard she works in therapy there's no u doing that damage. She can only learn to live with it. She will never be your golden princess because she hates everything that she isn't capable of being. And somewhere between these two I exist. I wrestle both of these bears. And believe me they are both work. Cuz cute little golden light of happiness girl gets herself hurt so many times it's unbelievable (sometimes over and over again with the same person). She's easy to love for sure but that doesn't make you special. She would give that love to anyone bc that's what good girls do. No boundaries. No self protection. So as Loving as she is there is very little loyalty from someone who loves so easily. You're gonna love how easy I am and learn to mistrust me at the same time. And that little black dust mote of a girl with all her insecurities would need so much guidance, support and therapy from you that the relationship would just have to end eventually. And maybe I would be better off but would you? After helping me and providing guidance where would you be? You have been warned....bad for a fellow.

thank you so much! everyone here is so awesome. but thank you for for these words. i wanna thank everyone for their words. but i'm doing better but am a lil down still but i'm doing okay. especially after that vent and just seeing these comments help so much. then i made a friend who is awesome on here and who has helped a lot too. and the support here is just it warms my heart to know i am not alone. i'm so happy I joined this site and club. i happy i have somewhere to go to be myself and to just let go even for a lil bit and not be judge yk. just yeah i don't wanna seem like a broken tape recorder but thank you so much everyone. i've been on my own a long time and to have this is awesome. and thank you i've been listening to music and trying to get lost when i can a lil. but later i am gonna sit down and lay down with my stuffies and cuddle under my blankets try and watch a movie. and talk to my new dom bc ik i have to talk to him about this and be open and honest ik communication is key with any relationship yk. so imma do that. tho imma a lil scared to open up with him about it. but not like omg scared but just to be open with someone is something else and new like on here yk imma be brave tho. then i'm gonna try and get lost on here ( not in a bad way lol ) and try and make new friends and have fun. but just imma slip into my little space a little for me later when i can yk if that makes any sense lol. imma try and take a moment for myself yk lol. okay let me stop with the ramble lol. but thank you again you're awesome and i am gonna take a breath, drink some water, and get through the day and keep my head up with a smile and thank you for adjusting tiara 😁

Hey @little-faith please come here for a second 🤍 gently adjusts your tiara — it hasn’t fallen, not even close. First, thank you for trusting people enough to share all of that. That’s not “overdramatic” — that’s courage. You’ve been carrying so much for so long, and the fact that you’re still here, still trying, still choosing to be kind and hopeful? That says everything about your strength. And that “I’m tired” feeling… I hear you. That deep, soul-level exhaustion isn’t weakness — it’s what happens when someone has been strong for a long time without enough rest or support. It makes sense you feel this way. You’re not selfish, and you absolutely have the right to feel it. You’ve been through things that would’ve knocked a lot of people down completely — and yet here you are, still fighting to keep your head up, still caring for your mom, still trying to stay positive. That’s not someone slipping… that’s someone holding on with everything they’ve got. But here’s the gentle truth: you don’t have to carry the whole weight perfectly all the time to still be a “princess.” Even princesses sit down, cry, rest, and lean on others sometimes. Strength isn’t just pushing through — it’s also allowing yourself to pause. So if today all you can do is: take a breath drink some water get through the next hour that counts. That is you still wearing your crown. You’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it. And you don’t have to prove your strength every second — you’ve already proven it a thousand times over. Your tiara isn’t slipping… you’re just tired. And tired people deserve softness, not pressure. I’m really glad you spoke up. Keep going — but gently, okay? 🤍

thank you very much really these words made me smile and mean a lot. i'm just idk in the feels i guess at the moment. and just imma try and keep my head up really the best i can bc that's all i can do. and imma try and stay positive lol. and thank you for the tiara you're awesome. thank you.

@little-faith, I promise no one can take your tiara away. This post was your cry for help, but you spent the first three paragraphs trying to make sure everyone else was ok and thanking the community. It doesn't get any more true princess than caring about others during your moment of crisis. Your tiara is not something you put upon your own head. Tiara's are placed upon your head by all those around you, and all those who know you. Even me, reading your post and writing this response, I place a tiara on your head. It is one of a very many and I promise it can not fall. I think perhaps the primary issue is that you are very tired. When you are so tired it can be hard to feel special and princess like, even when you are. Where you have been through a lot emotionally, especially with the recent worries about your health again, I would consider if you are suffering from something similar to ADHD burnout. Stress can interfere with dopamine production, and low dopamine is what causes burnout. I hope you will be able to find some time to rest and relax soon. Remember to put yourself and your health first. Do not worry about your tiara slipping, it is everyone else who will keep it where it belongs. 👑

i get that and i understand i've just been more in my feelings lately with everything that i am going through thank you for replying like really it's nice to like be heard like this yk and i'm just trying to stay with my head up and i do have a therapist and i'll be getting a social worker soon as well i'm just all over and something happened that tipped the ice berg yk but i am getting through it.

And also, if your title to this post is a true then you get all the recognition, hearts, love, stickers and praise from me and all of us cuz holding all the things that life has for you, holding yourself and holding your mom while you do it is BIG GIRRRL SHIT. Maybe you're not a princess but a queen