Overview

Andriel, thanks so much for posting this! I posted a topic yesterday that was basically asking for this information and it was before I read this post. You answered everything I am really curious about. This was very insightful and well thought out and helpful for someone who is just entering this world. I look forward to reading other posts you have made and continuing to learn and explore 😄

Thank you for such a heartfelt response and your kind words. I appreciate it - I am just glad even after all this time my topics are still floating around for members to find , new or old. When people reply to my old topics it’s just reminds me that the work put into these things are always worth it and just make me want to write more. You’ll find all kinds of fantastic writing on this site from some really solid fuckin humans. Again , thank you.

Hey Quirky 👋 The good...just about everything lol such as the satisfying sound of "thwack" and the feeling of contact on my hand. The bad...mistakenly using too much force and having it be too much for the person on the receiving end. Always start soft and go slow unless otherwise negotiated Fun non-traditional impact toys: Hmmm...pizza oven spatula, cat o'nine tails, my tie, phone cords...what about you?

DaddysMonkey, wow what an insightful and raw post! I am just getting into the BDSM and CG/DD/lg world and I have rarely come across something with such honesty and openness. Much respect and thank you for your courage! I know that trauma always leaves scars, but I am happy to see from what I am thinking you are saying is that you have been able to process what has happened to you and incorporate the negative life experiences and become a better and more badass monkey from them! After reading different things in this community in the past week, I am continuing to absorb the responsibility and privilege that comes with being in a relationship with a little. The power dynamic that comes into play and someone being their most vulnerable around you is something that I have rarely found people doing in this life. It seems to be a very special dynamic. I look forward to continuing to learn in this community from the other awesome people on here. As for me, I have lived a mostly vanilla lifestyle. So this probably isn't going to be what most people would consider anything crazy but I fantasize about shibari and tying a partner up and having them be suspended in the air and kissing all over their body and caressing all over their body with a rose and then engaging in impact play 😜

Hello everyone! I wanted to make a communication post since I am new to the CG/DD/lg world and am curious. I have never had a DD/lg relationship before. I personally believe healthy and open communication is important in all relationships and pretty much in all situations. For me, I enjoy being positive and using servant leadership while at work and in situations where I am put in a leadership role. This means I like to bring out the best in others around me as I fulfill my leadership role and teach them/help them to grow and become the best that they can be. In turn, I also grow and get closer to my best self by helping others and being challenged in my leadership role. I know that every individual is different and communication between every pair of two people will reflect that. However, is there any advice or tips that littles or experienced CG/DDs can share about communication in this type of relationship or communicating with littles while they are in little space? As a potentially future daddy, I find it would be helpful to hear from others. I have seen in posts that littles can enter a vulnerable emotional space and want to tread cautiously with their best interest in mind. I appreciate any responses and look forward to speaking with you 😁

Hey vampiress, it has been a bit since you created this topic but I wanted to chip in. A really great resource that I have come across is a couple who are both psychologists, the Gottmans. They are viewed as an authority in the area of relationships/couple communication/marriage and family therapy. One of the most striking things written in their book is the "four horseman of the apocalypse" which is behaviors that they found through research predict that a relationship will most likely end. These four behaviors are: criticism, contempt, stonewalling (cold shoulder) and defensiveness (if your partner criticizes you, you criticize back). The article you referenced also discussed most of these but I always like knowing that something has been found to be true through research and the Gottmans have been researching couples for 30 years. These are good things to keep in mind when you are "fighting fair"

I know this reply is over a year later but just wanted to say how much I appreciate you sharing this! I find myself relating to a lot of your experiences of doing really stupid things in my younger years in the name of ‘living out an ideal’ in my head. As I’ve gotten older and learned some of the root causes of those behaviors, it’s definitely helped but it’s still a hard road. With DDLG especially I had no idea what this was until later in life and I dived head first without really understanding what it was (let alone the world of BDSM) and found myself doing exactly what you described with a daddy who wanted a harem of littles. 😂 I’m not going to bash him since he was open about it - I just didn’t respect my own feelings and my own boundaries about it. I told myself that I was okay with it because I told myself, ‘daddy knows best & he’s looking out for me’ without really realizing that…that may not really be true haha. At the end of the day it was a learning experience for me to understand it’s ok to not be okay with certain things and to say no. (Something I need to work on in all aspects of life haha) Anywhoo, thanks for your post, very insightful and thought provoking. Cheers!

More nicknames for your little 💗Feminine💗 princess, baby girl, little lady, little girl, beautiful, little gal, wee lass 💙Masculine💙 prince, baby boy, little man, little boy, handsome, little guy, wee lad

NAMES TO CALL YOUR CAREGIVER 💗 Feminine 💗 Mommy, Mama, Miss, Missy, Mimi, Mama Bear, Ma, Mami, Nana, Mumma, Ma'am, Mom, 💛 Gender Neutral 💛 Bubba, Bear, Bubby, Bub, Bubs, Pal, Baba, Big Bear, Teddy, Snuggle Buddy, Bubbles, Carebear 💙 Masculine 💙 Daddy, Dada, Mister, Papa, Papa Bear, Papi, Pa, Sir, Hubby, Captain, Pabba, DD, Dad, Mr. Muffin *This is a starter to get ideas going. Please share what nicknames you like for your Caregiver.

Great timing with this topic I wrote up as one of my favorite YouTuber just made a video talking about feeling your feelings! Peter Monn here mostly explains the emotion SADNESS, but it can easily apply to other emotions you may struggle with: ANGER, ANXIETY, etc.

ty for sharing

Some advice I have been given from various people I talk to in my life and influencers I follow. A burden I'm shedding from my childhood is that I am responsible for managing the feelings of others. A side effect from that is I have suppressed my own feelings and needs. I'll share what helps me to focus, retrain my thinking to get out. It's a work in progress after several years. I may keep adding to this as more unfolds that I am learning. And please, I welcome more input from others to reply below or questions to elaborate further on something. The start was hearing the truth bomb that "feelings are feedback NOT facts". Your emotions don't define your character. It's OK to feel angry, fear, hurt, etc. How you choose to act/respond to such emotions matter whether it is heathy or safe. Give space for feelings rather than suppressing. What is the emotional signaling you? Is there a need that isn't being met or is threatened? This takes a lot of being honest with yourself and not having judgement. Just acknowledging the existence of the emotion is HUGE. Take a break to give yourself a few minutes to process. You can try noticing where in your body you are feeling it. Something that I have noticed for myself that comes out of practicing this is I examine what my core values are. A lot of my needs stem from those to keep harmony in myself. If I have relied on others to set morals for me, I am due for internal struggle and misery. This is a list to get ideas going on what emotions mean for you. What emotion tends to control you rather than you being in control of? Uncomfortable emotions are not bad. Try to resist judging yourself for feeling something. Give a label the emotion (the protector, the child, the coach, etc.). Take notice on what those feelings want to say if they could. I am used to internalizing, "Just get over it already!" when what I need is a healthy way to move THROUGH it. Reparenting myself has been most useful and that may be another topic I can write about in detail. Here are some steps for starters I like to use. Another truth bomb I learned is I am not responsible for how other people react. What they think about me is not my business. Letting that go is in my best interest and sanity. What I can control is myself, my thoughts, my behavior, my perspective. Your mind can be a safe space when you stop letting others rent space for free. I benefit a lot from validation, and I can control giving that to myself with affirmation and self-talk. Heck, I'll even talk to my stuffies for help. In the beginning, it felt ridiculous talking to myself out loud. But it works, holy fuck it works! Letting myself vent when I'm pissed off or speaking words that are soothing when I'm sad is so helpful. I can see the needs in another person and give support but somehow not to myself. Talking (or sometimes writing in a journal) puts those feelings literally outside of my head for me to hear/see. Then I can give myself the words of comfort, support, love, or whatever just as I would to a friend. I have been working on anger and going to the gym has been great for that. I am into the arts as an outlet for some of these things. I like to put together playlists of songs according to what I'm feeling. Are there other tried and true techniques you have to share?

Here are some more thoughts I have and general tips! - keep a list of things that trigger your headspace. this can help you find common factors and help you slip easier - keep a list of your favorite activities to do in Littlespace that why when you do slip, you have a few ideas of things to do - keep a list of things you want to try while little. This will keep it interesting and motivational - make a littlespace to do list to keep you on track with your plans for little time to make you feel like you got the most out of it - prep for your little self/little time. get your clothes/diapers out or on, clean up your space, set up cartoons ready to go, fill up a sippy, get a snack, get stuffies or toys or coloring supplies, etc - keep a chore chart so you both stay on top of al your adulty things but to also help you feel little - little-ify daily task! make chores into a game, have a sticker chart or rewards, use your little gear during it like diapers or pacis or stuffie friends, let yourself regress while doing it if you can do so safely, listen to little music, and so on!

First an foremost, I can only sign this from BeesCees! Working in IT as a person handling escalated and critical situations, my approach to this is: You cannot over-communicate! Most things you think, are worth to be told to another person. There are hardly any thought, which cannot be shared, be it sexual, funny, tragic, you name it.

I would wager lots of us have had not just hard but abusive or toxic relationships. One of the best things I love about littlespace is it's a cope and a joy. I remind me of my core and that it is good. I am however a glowy person so life and therapy agree: I tend to attract narcs and socios. I think emde rocks, parts work is good for those with parts and as for red flags: I use internal rules. When someone pushes these (cuz I am a natural pleaser) I try to have an inner alert that says that is a narc/socio/not desired aggressive tendency. I've got a healthy helping of masochistic so I tend to take emotional n physical pain too much before going hey: I don't like that. So if you too get in situations where your blind til your not: skip the conseling sesh: this one's on me: accept it and try to place watches for the next red flag. Reach out to Seven Humans (not just one doc or a friend: Seven humans need to know Your Story and brainstorm ideas on how to move forward or out or make peace depending where you're at. (Tends to be isolating so be creative to find your folks). Usually takes Seven tries to leave abuse so realize you can do it and keep trying. And double props to the littles like me who need extra an good daddy to help heal. If you have abuse in your past: oh well first you can lean on me: helps to know we do survive and thrive. And um counseling, you can't navigate life alone (daddies too). Get a coach for it.