Overview

(Home Is A Glow) i wish i had a mother with eyes like a deer an impossible mouth sunlight shining thru flower pattern blouse days changing with the washing of sheets, the washing of dishes with her long, soapy fingers i wish i could taste i wish i could feel caressing my face gentle kisses telling me stories so that i could forget and i do.. i do forget for there is no mother to be seen and i am here alone sitting in the dark have i gone crazy? 'no' she says, finishing the dishes and frowning then with a long, soapy finger she traced my lips 'you've just grown up' and for the longest time she stared at my mouth before pushing me from the window of her house ++ (Fallow) a soft breeze feeling of sunbeam pushes its way through thin wet sheets pinned to clothesline by tired hands wiping away the sweat and shading the eyes wooden pegs tucked in her apron my hands sneaking into her apron snagging one for myself as i tread knee-deep in grass, taking flight waving it triumphantly for her to see only she does not give chase but stand with hands on her hips an expression of slight concern her smile looking like a grimace squinting in the light, my eyes only see her not looking where i'm going as i step into my own shadow never to return [These two are quite old but still sentimental, despite being poorly written. I know these aren't for everyone, so I'll stop posting for now. Sorry! 😶‍🌫️]

(O Knell!) that breezy shepherdess smile closing eyes and palms against the wet hot fur of a dog dressed in shepherd's blood craning ear and cheek sprinkled in grass and earth fell the deep sound of his own coarsing veins ++ (Sleeping Venus) she comes from the sky her back to the window appearing as a silhouette a white leafed widow a dreamlike vision revealed only in sleep (or slumber) but bringing neither rain nor thunder she remains aloof a s u n d e r pacing the floor barefoot leaving me to wonder; how delicate does her skin remain? aframe. a frame as frail as wire. electric impulses setting my heart ablaze, afury, afire! a fire! burning the edges of her body. gown laced in burning, blazing, starlight fire! of stars (of us, the light) starlight.. starlight! wish i may wish i might ... wish i.. (blinding) her body i wish i could feel her body. her skin; decaying on mine R O T T I N G oh bring to me her skin on which i might pray searching for the light within so that i might see the diamonds i leave glistening in starlight upon her skin, i weave p r a y e r s into her. for her.. for me so that i might pray-- have something to b e l i e v e and the diamonds, the diamonds i leave. for her i wish (polishing her skin) marking her with a kiss scattering kiss after kiss a c r o s s every inch. every inch. until i stumble until i hear her call until i reach her subtle edge until i fall and.. break Venus at the knees destroying the patchwork C A T A S T R O P H E snapping every thread every seal, except for one. (i cannot see) the innocence of her existing for me and through my mouth do i taste a hundred and forty four thousand tears expanding, contracting on folds of lace and still (....) the seal i do not break and her voice; she does not speak and where her head once lay i see (i can see!) strands of her hair weaving through mine through me every morning she remains aloof a s u n d e r a dreamlike vision revealed only in sleep (or slumber) and every morning it's always the same no thunder.. no rain.. leaving me to wonder; how delicate does her skin remain?

In the garden where emotions bloom, the wind whispers, impending doom. hanahaki curse, petals cascading, loves affection, hearts slowly fading. A tale woven with threads of desire, in every petal, loves silent choir. lush blossoms bloom in hues so bright, yet conceal a secret, a lovers plight. With every glance, a seed takes root, in the soil of love, it begins to shoot. unrequited feelings, a thorny bed, hanahaki curse, loves tears are shed. Each petal a confession, unsaid words, love whispers, like the song of birds. yet as the heart bleeds, a garden grows, where love unfurls, a tragic prose. In the lungs, a garden of despair, blooms a passion, tangled in the air. coughing up flowers, a lovers plea, hanahaki embrace, a symphony. Bittersweet beauty, in pains caress, a love untamed, a tangled mess. yet in the garden, where petals fall, love sacrifice, a poignant call. The hanahaki vines, a dance of woe, a silent ballet as emotions grow. in this floral tragedy, hearts entwine, a narrative of love, both yours and mine.

I apologize in advance if these are a bit confusing or weird, haha. I just have a different style, I guess. I hope it's ok! Some of these are older and could probably be written better, but I don't want to change my original intent. Anyway! I'll start with just a couple and add more later. :3 ++ (It's Only Forever) it's the wild of your hair, thrown about the limbs tangled in the leaves the black of your teeth, your open mouth laugh frightening the birds chasing off sleep i'll call out for you if you call out for me! when we're younger, meeting you there in the mulberry tree sticky fingers sticky mouths sweet, sweet, sweet! ++ (We Greet The Giant) you make a pretty wolf bent over and shy 'how we are sad, crooked as trees' wagging haunt tail howling hurt lies our games are violent, fantastic charades--burning, burning! always at the feet of the other, tumble through nestled hair like distant waves come afar from distant shores we never know where! such beautiful sighs escaping your mouth, dearest, how i envy oh sister of mine, take a bite, take a bite! trap me, trap me! find a place behind your teeth and hold me there the longest of nights are spent tending to wounds natural things--'let's see how long we can go without rest!' speaking wildly of escape, making plans fueling the fear of success! such intoxication, such wild eyes! dearest, how we find our minds are all make-pretend and there are no bounds to how far we could fall if only we tried! 'then let us!' 'let us what?' 'let us forget! let's not believe!' 'i don't understand' 'idiot, let's leave!' how cruel she can be, but who am i to argue--burning, burning! of course we must leave! our gods are tiny and feral the garden lay fallow, certainly nothing holds us here not even our shadows! 'draw closer' your lips do pray, dearest, how they pray and allow me your hand as we set off for shores none too distant, but far far away for all that was left was hunger, it was all that we knew 'wake up, wake up! we're here, we're here!' our stomachs did cry, and what else did we see but a castle in the sky! running on all fours, dearest, how we ran! storming the palace--both prince and princess together we ate the king and laughed ourselves to death!

Grand gestures of flourishing flowers , Wrapped in delicate indigo ribbons . Affection in it purest form , similar the warmth of sun rise . Blooming cotton shaded iris , Cloudy skies as palette of greys , droplets of rain course down . In midst of gentle breeze watching the vibrancy of fresh vibrant scarlet rose's. Indigo gradient as the day passes by , ghastly skies no longer in sight. In mind , a rosy ribbon is a match , to a composure of olive green hydrangeas . Paired with fresh azaleas a welcoming scent of nature's love . A bouquet as equal as the honesty of ones word. Harvested with time and given with modesty. Blooming flowers as beautiful as kind words with the lingering scent of mother nature kiss.

Impressive and beautiful work...bravo!💙

So I published all these poems in my first book on Amazon. I'm proud and anxious about it. I hope that my writing connects with people and it is well recieved.

Am I odd because I open the car door and buckle your seat belt Am I too attention to your needs Am I weird because I sit and color with you or watch your favorite cartoon Am I too playful when building a blanket fort Too strict as I do not allow glitter to be used except in the kitchen Am I too attentive when I give you a bath , brush your hair , suggest what you should wear or how much makeup you should use Am I mean because I have rules , spank when bratty , corner time or time out Are you surprised I order for you at a restaurant Question in need of no answer , only expectation of the obvious or the knowing as I look upon you in that glance you so familiar with Mutually knowing the needs, desires of each other Who am I

Life is being with her , anything before or after is just waiting The voyeur within watching till such time she fills his senses once again. One beautiful circle , the heart goes round and round as she spins her magic to enhance his contentment, such a pleasure he found

They told me a young boy shall not put faith in chance. Chance is futile. You may never advance. Chance requires hope, and hope will watch us fall. In fact, hope can be the most hopeless act of them all. But when effort runs thin, and the heart becomes desirous. We adhere to this hope, scorn the warning signs. But is hope even hope when your mind calls its bluff. Is hope really hope if you refuse to believe. Does hope succeed, doubt and bring the solutions you seek. Or was it merely sweet serendipity. - r☔️

Have you lived Or have you simply come to be? Transpire with tenderness and fortitude- Oh, child’s innocent art. Plainly to be denuded of these innocents. Enervated. A being with no heart- Have you located the spark that lights your life? The warmth that satisfies baltic nights, Or have you been treading through a dark sea Of creatures; vultures and saprophytes? These creatures who consume your life The bills, the grades, the long-spun laboring days, Do not let these creatures devastate you. Are you alive, Or are you solely breathing? Your humanity depleting Navigating life In the shell of someone, you’ve never actually known. Can you sense the tautness that encompasses your life? Obtaining this state will get you nowhere, When you’re walking into deadman’s land. Ingenuity confined, replaced with machine. To serve pockets of the men of means. They sit in solitary stockades from 9-5 To study and transcribe their entire lives. Receiving calls, each monotone, Abrupt words and tiresome tones Then work right into overtime. Deadman walking… Nevermore alive. Is this life? Where we work- We work from dawn to dusk. Ignore those who try and ground us. We drift amidst in this realm of want. Insouciant. We are again misplaced in this black sea. This sea of serpents and sharks Disguised as supervisors and staff who inveigle their ways in to thieve superior paths Intellects beguiled via solipsism Bloodthirsty- We compete with the vicious to grow victorious. Except, in success, who now is the adversary? Who now patrols the obscure waters With avarice and with hunger? In this world exclusively to compete. This deadman- This beast- He becomes you and me. - r☔️ One of my favorites🤗

Words like tiny seeds ,when read or spoken , forever planted in the mind with the intent to captivate the imagination, when nurtured flourishing towards the bond that grows between us , creating an environment and atmosphere of lasting trust

Have you lived Or have you simply come to be? Transpire with tenderness and fortitude- Oh, child’s innocent art. Plainly to be denuded of these innocents. Enervated. A being with no heart- Have you located the spark that lights your life? The warmth that satisfies baltic nights, Or have you been treading through a dark sea Of creatures; vultures and saprophytes? These creatures who consume your life The bills, the grades, the long-spun laboring days, Do not let these creatures devastate you. Are you alive, Or are you solely breathing? Your humanity depleting Navigating life In the shell of someone, you’ve never actually known. Can you sense the tautness that encompasses your life? Obtaining this state will get you nowhere, When you’re walking into deadman’s land. Ingenuity confined, replaced with machine. To serve pockets of the men of means. They sit in solitary stockades from 9-5 To study and transcribe their entire lives. Receiving calls, each monotone, Abrupt words and tiresome tones Then work right into overtime. Deadman walking… Nevermore alive. Is this life? Where we work- We work from dawn to dusk. Ignore those who try and ground us. We drift amidst in this realm of want. Insouciant. We are again misplaced in this black sea. This sea of serpents and sharks Disguised as supervisors and staff who inveigle their ways in to thieve superior paths Intellects beguiled via solipsism Bloodthirsty- We compete with the vicious to grow victorious. Except, in success, who now is the adversary? Who now patrols the obscure waters With avarice and with hunger? In this world exclusively to compete. This deadman- This beast- He becomes you and me. - r☔️ One of my favorites🤗

A little girl visits me in my dreams Tears paint her cheeks I hear her sobs- Desperate and weak This little girl harbors the world in her heart. She suppresses her pain to preform her part. She nurtures and cares for those lacking love. Still they strip her cold by any means of. She hurts in ways she’d never dare show. Such strength- Like barbed wire beneath a fresh blanket snow. Little girls are supposed to be loved, supported, and safe. When baby girls loose their innocence. They tell her- “at least it gave you strength”. -r☔️

Hey all Hope this is ok to join and post here. Also started a thread on poetry.. I used to constantly write poems, spells and just everything to do with my heart. A long time ago, I didn't see it back then but I stopped, hurt at it all being belittled and having no privacy of what I wanted shown to the world and to who.. But these works I want to put out. Not to have critique or praise or expect it. Just so it's out in the universe. Hope that makes sense.

here i am, living my life without you. going through all the actions, but my heart is left there with you. we had a perfect month, you were my perfect partner matching me in every way i didnt know it could be better glass houses shatter, our bubble burst life made me make a choice against my better judgement i chose security ****************** if you want me to slide away, fade into inexistence id happily oblige i swore i wouldn't hold on too tight.. you are going about it the right way im not going to demand answers i have no right to. So, you move on with your life and I with mine.. we pass each other like ships in the night.. The last time i broke down, i should have just been honest then... My brain frazzled, hurt that i couldn't have you but couldn't let you go. told myself that I needed to do this for me and not you. told you straight, i couldn't believe in you. you asked me why and I couldn't be honest. seeing you treat them the same as me.. I knew in my heart that you'd leave me in the dust. to go from everything we had to just friendship, its bound to take its toll.. i knew it wouldn't survive. I tried to resuscitate this but i think its too late. i know looking back now, its a hard line for me. its harsh i know but if you cant stay friends with me, its not true love. ive asked the question, i wont ask again. if i get no answers, its also an answer. Now sure, we might be friends, but never more.. we'll meet, im thankful for all the times you helped me when i was down.. I told you I hope she doesn't disappoint.. we will hug but nothing more cos i think all you want is my body and not my heart. but you know, id never accept less than now. You taught me that.

Wish I wish I had met you before I was so damaged I wish you knew The girl I was before I wish you didn't Get the pieces of me I wanted you to have The very best of me Instead, you get The broken me I wish I could hide my scars I hate that I am messy I'm sorry For my insecurities Please look past My pain, my neediness. Please don't leave me Hold me through the storm I wish I was stronger But please don't let me fall I may try to push you away, Anger, and confuse you. I don't mean it, That is when I need you the most I'm trying to be better To be happy and whole I promise. Please I won't be this forever.

Missed I miss my good morning texts and our daily video chats. I miss his smile, his smell, his jokes, and his laughs. I miss watching his shows And talking about them after. I miss him giving me crap about my sleep shorts. I miss his grilling. I miss his concerns about me getting healthy. I miss his hugs and kisses. But most of all I miss him.

Still hurting 6 months, 182 days. I miss you every moment. 30 million heartbeats without you It hurts like we lost you just yesterday. I'm in pain physically and emotionally. Trying to be happy with what I have. Not what I lost. I visit your grave and talked to you for hours. I am still sorry I missed seeing you one last time. I feel closer to you here. In the home we built memories in. Mom gave me your old watch its like holding a piece of you. I was given one of your favorite shirts. It still smells like you. My heart isn't as heavy But it will break me when I have to go back home.

Death Takes I'm not scared to die But I fear what death takes What it will take away from us all My children without a mother Missing precious moments Graduations and accomplishments with an empty seat Watching first loves and last loves Marriage and babies Never knowing my Grandchildren Just a story to them Will there be a happy life for them After I am dead and gone I'm not afraid to die But I am scared of what death takes

Thank you!

These poems are so good Such feelings and expressions!

Carries when she carries too much, but picks others up from the ground when the echos of her past chase away the sun, she chases a release longing to scream into the void Im here dammit, see me calling for help Instead she sits there silent. tears fall in the dark, he inner voice is second-guessing Her reasons, her worthiness The pain is overwhelming hide the truth, smile for them A puppet on a string put your mask in place like a porcelain doll long stretches of quiet scare her, more than facing a firing squad she has been in front of the bullets before She remembers Shouting, slammed doors and insults, Each bullet hitting its mark She carves it out In measures of lines upon her skin Gather up the ribbons of red She doesn't Make a mess Its just another thing she carries

Title: Angel Baby (working title) I love you though we said goodbye Before we even met. Ten tiny fingers and toes, would you have looked like your older siblings Did you have a brilliant neuro divergent brain? Autism lives and loves here. Did you have a head of light red hair and piercing blue eyes? My child, were you a daughter or son? My angel in heaven my heart hurts from your loss. A piece of me is gone. A gaping hole in my body, in my heart, and in my soul. I feel so broken, irreparable, and yet My heart knew your heart and you wait for me beyond You angel baby of mine.

I feel this way too. It often leads to burnout and I get completely overwhelmed. I need to learn how to trust completely and let go.